


Return

by 3ALover



Series: Surprise [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Domestic, Family, Future Fic, M/M, Married Couple, Post Mpreg, Toddlers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:44:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 59,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: Three years after Yuzuru Hanyu and Javier Fernandez announced they were expecting a baby and retiring from competitive figure skating, the life they live with their son Mateo is absolutely perfect. However, when Yuzuru makes a choice that causes an upheaval in their domestic norm, it's up to the whole family to adjust in a way that's best for everybody.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> YOU ASKED FOR IT AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE: TODDLER FIC!!!
> 
> Originally, this chapter was the whole fic, and it was just fluffy family holiday times. But then I realized instead of a Christmas story, I wanted to turn this into a whole long fic, and though other chapters won't be as long as this one, it won't be as many short chapters as the first fic was, it will be longer chapters spaced out and posted apart.
> 
> I really hope you love this one, too <3

Yuzuru laughed as Javier had to chase after Mateo, who had struggled free of holding his hand when he saw his Obaasan and decided to run to her. “Mateo, stop,” Javier complained as he grabbed him up, ignoring him kicking and whining.

“Baba!” he cried, reaching his hands towards Yumi. Yuzuru smiled, taking over the suitcase that Javier had left behind, tugging them both as he followed his husband and son towards her. 

“Mateo,” his mother cried happily as she grabbed him from Javier, swinging him into the air. He giggled wildly and when she pulled him into a hug, he hugged back, laying his little head on her shoulder.

“Baba,” he cooed, and Yuzuru’s heart melted. 

Mateo was almost three now. _Three_. It was crazy sometimes to think that his little baby was nearly three years old. He still felt like he had retired just yesterday sometimes, and yet it had been three years. They hadn’t seen his family in over six months, due to how hard it was to travel with a three year old, and he was so happy when he learned that his family was going to be able to come to Spain to stay while they visited to spend the holidays with Javier’s family. They hadn’t had the entirety of both of the families together since they finally made good on their promises to their mothers and had a wedding when Mateo was eight months old. They tried to make sure to visit each set of grandparents at least once per year, but it was never enough for little Mateo, who loved both sets of grandparents so much. Yuzuru thanked the figure skating gods that Skype existed.

Yuzuru managed to edge his way in to hug his mother while his son tried to hog her. “I’ve missed you, Mom,” he said, relaxing when he felt the familiar and long-missed feeling of his mother stroking his hair. It was still hard sometimes to not know his mother was right there all the time like she had been for the first twenty-three years of his life. 

“I’ve missed my boys,” she said, voice tight with emotions. Yuzuru pulled away and she pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning and pressing one to Mateo’s curls. “My baby, my baby baby,” she paused and smiled over at Javier. “And my baby-in-law,” she teased and he smiled, obediently coming over to let her pet him on the head. Yuzuru’s mother loved Javier, and Yuzuru never got tired of how nice it was that there was no ‘mother-in-law is crazy’ issues for either of them.

“Where did you leave Dad and Saya?” Yuzuru asked her, and she grinned.

“They’re already at Javi-chan’s family’s house, I just stuck around the airport to see you boys off the flight,” she said and Yuzuru laughed, rolling his eyes.

Javier looked at her in surprise. “Really? That’s sweet and also very unnecessary. You should be relaxing after such a long flight,” he chastised, and she tutted.

I wouldn’t relax until I saw my boys,” she said firmly, leaving no room for argument. 

They all got a taxi to head to Javier’s family’s home, and Yuzuru always loved the way Javier seemed to just fit in Spain. He knew that Javier missed home a lot lately. Yuzuru always missed Japan, but he had a feeling that before too long, he and Javi would be moving to Spain. Javier was getting the hang of coaching in Toronto, though, so it wasn’t a for sure thing, but Canada still just didn’t feel like home. Yuzuru wasn’t sure how much Spain would feel like home for him, but he wasn’t afraid of trying.

When they arrived, Javier didn’t wait on them to get out before he was out the car and jogging to his house. Yuzuru didn’t even mind that he left him and his mother with Mateo and the luggage, because he knew how much Javier had missed his parents. “He’s so happy to be home,” he said fondly, watching his husband rushing to the front door.

Yumi cooed. “I’m so glad we all get to spend time together.” She picked up Mateo, smiling. “Come on, let’s go see the rest of your family, my child,” she said eagerly.

Yuzuru was always amused that Mateo had managed to learn to speak pretty much equally in three languages. He blended his languages sometimes still, and he had the vocabulary of a toddler obviously, but he could understand Japanese when Yuzuru and Yumi spoke it, Spanish when Javier and his abuela spoke it, and they generally spoke English around him, since Javier’s Japanese was pretty okay but Yuzuru still spoke next to no Spanish still. His English, at least, had gotten much better having to teach his child to speak. When Yumi spoke to him, Mateo eagerly answered her in Japanese. “Papa say we see Abuela tonight!” 

“Yep, we sure are,” Yuzuru said, trying to wrangle the suitcases up the steps while Yumi went right on ahead with Mateo.

When he finally made it in the house, everybody was gathered around Mateo, as he had expected. He put the suitcases aside and slid up beside Javier, who smiled so brightly and curled an arm around him, tugging him into his side. “He’s far more popular than us,” he joked and Yuzuru grinned.

“He is more popular with me, too, so I understand,” he said, laying his head into the bend of Javier’s neck, smiling on with such a light heart at both families clustered around Mateo, who was smiling and laughing and clearly so incredibly happy. Yuzuru felt like he was going to burst with joy at seeing his child so happy and his whole family all together in one place. “I’m so glad we did this, Javi,” he whispered, and Javier looked into his eyes with a visible amount of love in his big, beautiful brown eyes. 

“Me, too, _Querido_ ,” he said, pressing his lips to Yuzuru’s forehead, holding them there for a moment. Yuzuru closed his eyes and just breathed, reminding himself that this was all (still) his life. He was so, so lucky for it. 

~

It was only after Mateo had gone to sleep, exhausted from all the fun, that Yuzuru and Javier really got to sit down and talk to their families. “Yuzuru tells me you’re really getting a hang of coaching,” Saya said, passing Javier a drink as she sat down with them all, having gone to fix them all drinks. She handed Yuzuru his juice and he smiled at her for remembering not to include him in the wine pouring.

Javier nodded. “Yeah, I’m actually teaching some kids who are about to move into the junior competition level. It’s a lot of fun coaching competitive skaters, even though now I have some idea what our coach was so crazy about with us,” he joked and Yuzuru giggled, sliding his hand into Javier’s where it rested on his knee.

“Javi has one little girl who keeps doing jumps he told her aren’t safe for her to do so soon, and when he catches her she pretends she can’t understand his accent,” he said and Javier groaned. 

“She’s eleven and she is constantly trying stuff grown women are supposed to do, not eleven year olds!” He shook his head. “I keep apologizing to Brian whenever I see him for everything I ever did that he told me not to.”

Laura translated for his parents, since they still didn’t speak English, and his mother asked something that made Javier snicker. Yuzuru waited patiently and Javier grinned. “She asked if Mateo is going to take after us,” she said, and Yuzuru snickered.

“Mateo hates the ice. It’s hilarious,” he stressed. “I think he might like it when he’s older, but now all he understands is that it is cold and he falls down on it too easily. We have took him skating a few times, but he gets bored and complains about the cold really fast, so one of us usually has to take him to the lounge while the other skates some more.”

“You never liked the cold either, but you always liked skating,” Yumi commented. “You just wore half your winter clothes every time I took you to a rink until you were old enough to really get the hang of it.”

Javier chuckled. “Mateo likes swimming. I think he might like the summer more than the winter as he gets older. The pool at the club is heated, so you can swim even in winter, and since I work there, my family gets access to all the stuff there, and we have better luck getting him to go to the pool than the ice rink.”

“Hey, you never know,” Laura said with a grin. “Maybe he can be the Fernandez to go to the summer Olympics one day,” she joked and Yuzuru rolled his eyes.

“Hey, if he wants to be a swimmer, I will go all over the world for his swimming competitions, I could hardly refuse when my Mom did the same for me.” He tugged at Javier’s fingers. “Javi has been nice enough not to suggest I get a job, so I’ve got plenty of free time to take my son wherever he has to go.”

Javier snorted. “What on earth would you do for a job? Your talents are figure skating, dancing, and handling a hyperactive toddler.”

“I could teach little children’s dance classes,” he decided and Javier grinned.

“Hey, nothing’s stopping you if you wanted to,” he said, kissing his forehead. “A coach and a choreographer, we could start our own skating empire,” he teased.

Yuzuru interrupted his sweet kiss with a big yawn, turning his head to the side. He shivered when he finished. “Wow, sorry.”

“Awww, you two must be exhausted,” Laura said suddenly. “I didn’t even think about how exhausting it must be to travel with a child.”

Javier brushed Yuzuru’s hair out of his face. “I am kind of tired, how about you?” he asked, and Yuzuru scrunched his nose.

“Yes, but we haven’t been here long. We should stay and be nice to our guests,” he said and Laura scoffed.

“Yuzuru, go get some sleep. Don’t be silly,” she said, and he looked at Javier, who shrugged.

“We should get some sleep. Mateo will be up early with the time difference.” Yuzuru sighed and nodded, and Javier smiled and stood up. He spoke Spanish to his parents, and Yuzuru stood as well, saying goodnight to his parents and his sister before moving to give Laura a quick hug and let Enriqueta squeeze his hand as he passed, bowing goodnight to them all as he headed to Javier’s old room, where they were staying. His parents would be in the guest room, and Saya was going to share with Laura in her old room, which was convenient, since he could only imagine his parents trying to travel around in such a busy city.

His parents had requested to stay with Mateo, so the little crib Javier’s parents had bought for him was in their room. Yuzuru ducked in to check on him, smiling when he saw him conked out and fast asleep, sleeping hard just like Javier did most nights, and he leaned down to kiss him gently, careful not to wake him. “Goodnight, my sweet baby,” he whispered, brushing his little curls from his forehead. The older he got, the more Mateo looked like Javier with Japanese features. His eyes were shaped like Yuzuru’s and his face with rounder cheeks, but in every other way, he looked just like Javi. Yuzuru was convinced Mateo was more beautiful than either of them because he got the best of both of their looks, but Javier reminded him constantly that they were his parents, so of course he was the most beautiful child alive to them.

Yuzuru was so caught up in admiring his baby that he startled slightly when big, strong arms curled around his middle and a warm, solid chest pressed against his back. “I’m so happy we did this,” Yuzuru whispered. “He deserves to spend two whole weeks with his whole family. He was so happy when we got here.”

“I am, too,” Javier said, kissing the back of his neck. “This is wonderful, Yuzu, but we both need some sleep. You go get ready for bed while I say goodnight to my little man,” he said, and Yuzuru turned to kiss Javier quickly before slipping out of his hold, leaving Javier to say goodnight to their child.

Once they were both ready for bed, Javier barely had time to turn off the light and pull Yuzuru into his arms before he was out like a light. Yuzuru chuckled softly and laid his head on Javier’s chest, pressing a kiss just over his heart as he closed his eyes, letting the relaxing sound of Javi’s heartbeat – still one of his favorite things in the whole world – lull him into a peaceful sleep.

~

Shopping with Enriqueta and Laura, Yuzuru learned that Christmas Eve was usually when families spent time together and ate a big meal, which messed up Yuzuru’s plans just a little bit. “Hmmm, in Japan, Christmas Eve is like Valentines day, I was going to surprise Javi with a nice date,” he confided in her. “We never do dates, because we rarely get a chance for Mateo to stay with someone else.”

She smirked. “Ah, trying to keep the romance alive, huh?” she teased and he giggled.

“We just rarely spend time just the two of us. He is always sweet to me, so I wanted to be sweet to him,” he explained. 

Laura hummed. “Well, maybe you can move it to Christmas day? I’m sure Mateo will want to play with all his toys and won’t have much a care for his parents. You can spend the day together while we all play with Mateo.”

Yuzuru liked that idea. “Javier deserves a nice surprise. He is the best husband and father,” he said fondly, sighing softly. “He surprised me with this trip idea, he always surprises me with treats when I’m homesick, he somehow knows just what to do to make me feel better always, and he deals with more difficult children than I do to begin with.”

Laura laughed. “Awww, you still really do love my stupid brother,” she joked and he grinned.

“I married him, didn’t I? Probably for the best I love him since I stuck myself with him,” he joked back.

~

Javier loved how much time he got to spend with his family, and nothing was more fun than watching Mateo running around showing all his new toys to his grandparents and aunts, as well as all the cousins and Javier’s aunts and uncles who came over for Christmas dinner, most of whom Yuzuru had never met before, but there was something about time for just him and Yuzuru.

Yuzuru woke him up on Christmas morning with kisses and then took him out for a day alone together. They spent so much of the morning sightseeing and much of the afternoon lazing around in the park where they came when Yuzuru was pregnant with Mateo. They had such a nice, romantic afternoon, followed by a candlelit dinner that Yuzuru had surprised him with also, and once they left there, Javier felt bold enough to make a suggestion.

“You can say I’m crazy, but I had a thought,” he said, arm low around Yuzuru’s waist as they strolled through the streets, slowly enjoying the cool night under the lights from shops and restaurants around them. 

“Oh no,” Yuzuru teased, patting his forehead. “Did it hurt?” he asked and Javier snorted and rolled his eyes at such a bad joke, even though it seemed to delight Yuzuru that it amused him.

Javier stopped him walking and tugged him fully into his arms, hands on his hips as he leaned closer, their noses almost touching. “We should get a hotel room,” he suggested, stroking his thumb over Yuzuru’s hipbone. Yuzuru raised an eyebrow and Javier grinned. “Just think. How long has it been since we got to go slow and spend allll night in bed together?” he asked, brushing his lips across Yuzuru’s cheekbone. “When is the last time you got to make all the noise you wanted without worrying you would wake up the toddler we barely got to sleep half an hour before?” he purred. “I used to be able to make you come _twice_ in one night, because I could get you off, turn you on again, and then make love to you,” he breathed in his ear, smirking when Yuzuru shivered. “We never have a chance to take our time like that anymore.” He slid a hand lower on his ass, just cupping it in his hand. “Wouldn’t it be nice to see if we still have what it takes to go all night the once chance we get to not have to have an ear open for a fussy baby?”

Yuzuru moaned softly, pressing into his hands. “I think we should call and make sure they’re okay looking after Mateo for us first,” he said, and Javier pulled back some to smirk down at him.

“And if they are?” he asked, and Yuzuru’s eyes darkened.

“I’ll go find a store with lube while you get us a hotel room, because I want you to fuck me until I scream,” he said in a voice so erotic that Javier nearly got hard right there in the middle of the street.

Javier swallowed hard and nodded, looking into those heated, yearning eyes. “I- I’ll call Yumi and ask if they don’t mind watching Mateo tonight,” he nearly squeaked, hand shaking as he dug his phone out.

~

Yuzuru didn’t even seem too embarrassed when his own mother joked about how little sleepy they would get, hinting at knowing damn well what they were staying out for, when she and his dad agreed to deal with getting Mateo ready for bed and getting up with him in the morning. By the time Javier found a hotel with a vacancy and Yuzuru bought what they needed for the night, they both were a little shifty, eager to do something they hadn’t been able to do since before Mateo was born. 

When they got to the hotel room, they didn’t even bother pretending they were going to do anything but have sex until all hours of the night. The second the door locked, Yuzuru dragged Javier into a kiss and Javier ducked down to grab him behind the knees and pick him up, slamming Yuzuru into the wall as he wrapped his legs around him. They never even made it to the bed for the first round, barely getting their clothes off – mostly to keep them from getting dirty since they had no more than anything – before Javier sat Yuzuru on a table and they ground against each other until they came. 

Yuzuru joked that they would have to leave a big tip for the housekeeping staff after they got the _table_ dirty, but just tugged Javier into the shower since they had been walking around in public all day and nobody wanted to kiss every inch of skin that had been coughed on and brushed by strangers all day long. 

After the shower, Javier surprised Yuzuru by throwing him face down on the bed and spending a solid half hour opening Yuzuru up with his mouth, refusing to use his fingers or speed up the process in any way, torturing Yuzuru with pleasure until he was a whimpering, shaking mess of a man. When he finally stopped, it was only to get the lube. Yuzuru was unable to do more than whimper and arch his back to push his ass out in hopes Javier would finally give him what he wanted. 

And _oh_ , how he did. He didn’t stretch him any further, simply asked ‘is this okay?’ as he started to push into him. Yuzuru reveled in the stretch of Javier entering him after only eating him out, not really preparing him, and moaned as he slid home. He didn’t go easy on Yuzuru, either, for which Yuzuru was grateful. Yuzuru wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted Javier to make him scream. They rarely ever had sex even slightly rough because it would make too much noise, so being pinned facedown on the bed and fucked hard and fast was _incredible_ for Yuzuru, who had always liked rather athletic sex before a baby that could wake up at any moment made it hard to do more than a fast, efficient job of things. 

Javier drew it out, too. He would fuck Yuzuru hard and fast, so much that the headboard of the bed slammed against the wall, and then right when Yuzuru felt himself growing close to orgasm, he would stop and give slow, gentle rolls of his hips, whispering Spanish in his ear as he stroked his hands over the long panes of Yuzuru’s body. 

By the time they were both exhausted and covered in sweat, they were desperate in their movements, and in Yuzuru’s favorite way, they ended up in a peculiar position at the end of things. Javier pinned his knees to his shoulders, hands on the back of his thighs as he folded him pretty much in half, fucking him as hard and fast as he could so exhausted, and Yuzuru could only tug at his own hair and cry helplessly as pleasure overtook every fiber of his being. When he finally came, his hoarse cry mingled with the sound of the bed slamming into the wall over and over again, and he panted and gasped through Javier crying out and coming inside of him. 

Even as clearly exhausted as he was, Javier still pressed sweet kisses to his legs as he lowered them back, rubbing at his tight hips soothingly after keeping him bent like a pretzel for so long. Yuzuru always felt an overwhelming about of love for his husband, but the way he could be so incredibly gentle after being very, very NOT gentle, it was something so ‘Javi’ that Yuzuru always wanted to cry. 

They lay sprawled side by side, too tired to even cuddle, and Yuzuru giggled, voice hoarse from screaming. “We should shower before we get kicked out from other people on the floor complaining,” he joked.

Javier chuckled and grabbed blindly until he found Yuzuru’s hand. “They would have to cart me out right now. I’m pretty sure my legs don’t work,” he said, tugging Yuzuru’s hand to his lips to kiss his fingers. “That was…”

“Yeah,” Yuzuru sighed, rolling his shoulders contentedly. He glanced over at Javi, who was blinking up at the ceiling, looking dazed still. Yuzuru giggled. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow from all the bending and twisting. I don’t get enough stretching exercise as I was before Mateo came.”

Javier groaned. “I’m going to hurt in places I forgot exists. I haven’t had that much of a workout since I was competing, too. I should start going to the gym more before I get fat in my old age.”

Yuzuru hummed softly. “I would still love you fat. You loved me for the _year_ it took to lose the weight from pregnancy.”

Javier rolled onto his side, slinging an arm across Yuzuru as he snuggled into his side, tucking his face into Yuzuru’s neck. “You were never fat, you were just normal person sized, not skinny as a stick. You had a really great ass when you were ‘fat’,” he said, and Yuzuru snickered.

“Soreness tells me you like my ass how it is now,” he said and Javier wiggled his eyebrows with a hum. 

“Even with a little muscle loss, it’s still very round and perky,” he teased. “You still have the most incredible body I’ve ever laid my hands on. Even after you had Mateo and felt so ‘fat’, I thought you were sexy as hell.” He absently traced the long-faded lines on Yuzuru’s stomach from how pregnancy had given him a few stretch marks. Yuzuru hated those ugly lines, but he understood why Javier liked tracing them with his fingertips. He knew that to Javier, the silvery lines were a reminder that Yuzuru had carried Javier’s son inside of him for nine months and given him the most wonderful gift he had ever received. Yuzuru understood, because his husband gave him their son, too. He thought about that every time he saw Javier’s features looking back at him from his baby’s face. Javier gave him love and a happy life, but the most important thing Javi ever gave him was his baby.

Yuzuru sighed, groaning as he rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m about to say something very stupid and I in no way regret a night alone,” he said, and Javier grinned slowly.

“You miss Mateo?” he asked, and Yuzuru snorted and nodded.

“I miss Mateo.” He rolled to face Javier, sliding his leg in between Javier’s and tugging Javier’s hand to his chest. “How is this the person I have become, Javi? I get my first night alone with my husband in _years_ and now that I’m not having sex, I think about all the things I hope my parents remember to do for Mateo before he goes to sleep.”

Javier chuckled, smiling in a way that made the lines around his eyes crinkle. “Because the person you are now is a parent. I was just thinking ‘I wonder if they remembered he doesn’t like milk before bed, he likes water?’ when you said that,” he confessed and Yuzuru giggled, pressing his lips to Javier’s knuckles.

“We should have more sex,” Yuzuru decided all of a sudden and Javier snorted.

“You forget, I’m old, _Querido_ ,” he said, looping an arm around his waist to tug him closer. “Can’t we nap instead?” he asked and Yuzuru giggled.

“But Javi, I’m not old,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows pointedly. He twisted a curl around his finger and leaned in to peck Javi’s lips. “I just need some making out and I will get hard again,” he purred, and Javier snorted.

“You are the age I was when we started dating, how do you still have the libido of a teenager?” he asked, then rolled his eyes and kissed Yuzuru’s chin. “You’re lucky I enjoy making you beg,” he murmured and Yuzuru hummed happily as Javier kissed his jaw and down his throat.

“Mmmm, after you give me blowjob, we can nap, then when we wake up, you can do whatever you want to me,” he promised, and Javier chuckled, stroking his waist as he kissed his collar bone, pushing Yuzuru onto his back.

“I can already do whatever I want to you,” he teased. “There’s nothing I like that you aren’t entirely into. I could tie you up by your ankles and fuck your mouth while you hang from the ceiling and you would enjoy it,” he said, and Yuzuru scrunched his nose.

“You want _that_?” he asked. “That is very much kinky, Javi,” he informed him and Javier smiled against his chest.

“Nah, that would be too dangerous. If you fell on your head I would never forgive myself,” he confessed and Yuzuru hummed, scratching at Javier’s hair as he licked and sucked on Yuzuru’s nipple, making his blood begin to stir again.

“But if you want, you can take up my wrists with the curtain ties over there so I cannot touch,” he offered. “We never try kinky things. I would let you,” he offered, and Javier hummed, making him gasp when his teeth scraped across Yuzuru’s nipple. 

Javier looked up at him as he rested his chin on his chest. “I’ve never been very inclined to kinky things, but I’m not against trying it out,” he said, clearly pondering the thought. “You like such dirty, athletic sex I’m usually turned on enough by all the crazy positions you get into, but if you want to try that, I’m okay with it,” he said, and Yuzuru snickered.

“I just had suggestion. We have a baby at home, so we cannot try it there, in case we have to go to him while he sleeps, that is why I think about it,” he explained. “Very irresponsible to do kinky things with tying up when Mateo might need us.”

Javier groaned. “Oh, God, I’d be put off sex forever if he fell off his bed and got hurt because we were too busy tied to ours to come to him when he woke up with a bad dream,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded with a grimace. Javier kissed his chest. “Okay, maybe we can try something kinky later,” he agreed, and Yuzuru grinned.

“Anything you want to do to me you can,” he reminded him and Javier wiggled his eyebrows comically before putting his mouth back to Yuzuru’s nipples.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got several chapters written and decided why not just post the next one already? Don't expect this 'chapter each day' thing to continue, but here. Have this one anyways!

When they got back home, Yuzuru just wanted to sleep a week. Javier looked just as tired. He was pretty embarrassed to face his family knowing they knew damn well why they were tired, but he didn’t regret anything. Yuzuru hadn’t been so sore in so may places in a long time and it all spelled wonderful memories of the best sex they had had in years.

Later, when Javier grimaced when he swung Mateo up into the air, he just winked at Yuzuru and said, “I’m just glad I don’t have to go back to the ice for another week.”

Leaving Spain – and both his and Javi’s families – was hard, especially when Mateo cried when they had to leave his grandparents and that in turn made Yuzuru’s mother burst into tears and hug him until they absolutely had to leave. Yuzuru and Javier had a very moody child the entire flight back to Canada and it didn’t help that Javier had always reacted strongly to his child hurting, meaning Yuzuru had to comfort both his child and his husband and be strong for them. 

However, after a few days back home, things largely went back to normal.

For a while.

~

Yuzuru laughed as Mateo skated in a circle, complaining in Spanish – just like his father – the entire time. “Mateo, come on,” he urged. “Don’t you want to skate like Papa and Tousan?” he asked, but Mateo continued to complain. “Watch Tousan,” he urged, skating over to squat down in front of him. He caught his arms, stopping him. “Mateo, watch Tousan do something cool, okay?” he said, and Mateo pouted but stood there. Yuzuru smiled and skated away, making a circle before lining up and, right in front of Mateo, doing a triple axel, landing it nice and clean. As he came out of the landing, he turned around and saw Mateo looking slightly less annoyed as he looked around, as if wondering why none of the other people skating were doing stuff like that.

Though Mateo had been around the ice a lot, since Yuzuru still had to skate to keep sane and Javier taught children, but it occurred to Yuzuru that he’d never seen his parents _really_ skating. He had seen their photos and they watched figure skating on TV sometimes while he was in the room, but Yuzuru guessed that to a toddler, there was no reason to watch skating on TV when he had toys to play with instead.

“Tousan, how you do that?” he asked, looking at the spot Yuzuru had just did the jump. 

Yuzuru smiled and skated over to his side. “Lots and lots of years of skating,” he said, ruffling his curls. “You know how Papa and I have all those medals and photos?” Mateo nodded. “That’s why. When we say we won at figure skating, it means doing those pretty spins and big, cool jumps, like the ones Papa teaches children to do.”

“But they are not cool!” Mateo said, looking at his father like he was a new person. “Do it again!” he said, tugging on Yuzuru’s glove. “Again, again!”

Yuzuru laughed and kissed Mateo’s forehead. “Alright, just for you,” he said, skating backwards away from Mateo. “Go sit on the edge so none of the big kids run you over cause you aren’t looking,” he instructed and Mateo quickly skated over to the side and climbed off the ice to sit on the carpet and watch Yuzuru around the people skating. Yuzuru noticed several people had stopped when he did the triple axel and were all clearly waiting for him to do more cool stuff. The rink wasn’t always used for training. On the weekends, there was open hours for members of the club and their guests to ice skate for fun, which was when Yuzuru and Javier took Mateo to try and get him to stop hating skating so much.

Yuzuru was thankful that the parents were keeping their kids out of a clear path for him, and he recalled a choreography sequence from one of his old skates and imagined the music as he began his skating, humming to himself as he waved his arms and swept his blades deeply through his knees, he got to a part where a jump came and he worried briefly that he was about to fall on his butt in front of his son, since he hadn’t done more than a handful of quads in the past six months worth of skating for fun. However, he grinned and threw himself into a big quad toeloop, grateful when he landed that he landed it clean. He heard tons of gasps and a few people say his name, but he wanted to show off for Mateo, so he came out of the jump and moved into a combination spin, finishing in a scratch spin, coming out to stop with his arms outstretched in a flourish facing Mateo.

There was a handful of people applauding when he skated back to the side, bowing and smiling at them all before coming to stop in front of Mateo, whose little eyes were _so wide_. “Wasn’t that cool?” he asked, and Mateo nodded quickly. “Papa can do all those things, too,” he said, and Mateo actually put his tiny, gloved hands to his cheeks in surprise. 

“He can?!”

Yuzuru laughed. “Yes, Papa has just as many medals as me on the wall, doesn’t he?” he asked, and Mateo smiled brightly.

“I want to see Papa do it!” he said, and Yuzuru hummed, looking around. The last time he saw Javier he was talking to Brian, whose niece was there skating today. He tapped his chin as his eyes scanned around the ice, only to see Brian watching from the other side of the windows without Javier. “Let’s go ask Coach Brian where Papa went. If he has his extra skates in the locker room, he might can come show you,” he said, putting on his skate guards before picking Mateo up. He didn’t even care that his tiny skates were getting ice chips on his pants as he carried him on his hip over to the door and went out to the hallway where Brian was. 

Brian smiled when he spotted them. “Hey, Buddy,” he said, holding his hand out for a high-five from Mateo. Mateo giggled and slapped their palms together. Yuzuru always thought it was adorable how much Mateo liked Brian since Brian wasn’t even that great with small children. “I saw that, Yuzuru,” he said, and Yuzuru smirked.

“It occur to me that Mateo has not seen me really skate,” he said, hefting Mateo higher on his hip. “You know where Javi went? Mateo wants to see Papa skate like that, too, now.”

Brian snorted. “Javier’s running his mouth with some of the other dads down at the snack bar. I don’t think you’re gonna get him on the ice today,” he said, and Yuzuru faked a dramatic pout at Mateo, who frowned. 

“Oh well. Papa sounds busy,” he said, bouncing him a little. “I will just show you some videos when we get home and the we can laugh at Papa’s outfits in the videos,” he said and Mateo looked a little put out but not upset. “Want to skate some more?” he asked, and Mateo nodded eagerly.

“Yes!” he said, and Yuzuru waved at Brian and took Mateo back out, putting him down so he could get onto the ice again. 

“Just don’t try to imitate Tousan,” he said sternly. “You’ll hurt yourself. You’re too little for all that stuff,” he warned and Mateo groaned but thankfully listened. He did seem determined to try and learn how to skate backwards now, though, which was adorable to watch. He kept skating and then trying to turn around and keep going, which naturally made him land on his butt and then frown in frustration as he stood up and tried to do it again. 

Yuzuru sat down on the bench to just watch, content to let his son try and work it out on his own for a little while. Brian sat down beside him and Yuzuru smiled, though he didn’t keep his eyes off of Mateo for long. “I knew that would make him want to skate,” he said and Brian hummed.

“You know…” Brian trailed off, then took another breath. “How often do you do quads?” he asked, and Yuzuru looked at him in confusion.

“What? Less than a dozen in the last six months, why?” he asked.

Brian raised both eyebrows, still looking out at the ice, and laughed, shaking his head. “Okay, when was the last time you threw a quad toe?” he asked. “Before now,” he said pointedly, knowing Yuzuru was a smartass.

Yuzuru hummed. “Before we left for Christmas so about two months,” he said, looking at Brian. “What’s up with the questions?”

Brian seemed to think for a moment before leaning back, arms crossed, still watching the skaters, not Yuzuru. “Have you ever thought…” He changed his mind about something. “This season’s been very different with the scoring changes,” he started, and Yuzuru nodded. It really had been. Just back in December a skater Yuzuru’s age with only two quads in his free skate – and both were toe loops at that – had won the Grand Prix title. The new judging system lowered the base value of quads, deducted more on falls, and rewarded spins and other artistic elements far more than when Yuzuru had been skating. It had made it so that skaters who had always relied on a ton of quads really struggled this season. Some of the young skaters who had been up and coming stars when Yuzuru retired weren’t even reliably always in the top ten anymore. Javier was a big fan of the change, and Yuzuru didn’t mind it, because he had always thought skating should be about art, not just jumps, but he was still getting used to it when he watched skating competitions on TV. 

“Yeah, it’s kind of strange to see the strategy that was top when I retired now not working for people,” he commented.

Brian nodded. “Look, I’m just going to say it,” he said, looking at Mateo on the ice, smiling when he waved at Yuzuru and Brian, then promptly ran into the side of the rink and glared at the wall like it had jumped in his way. “If you wanted to come out of retirement, I really think you have a shot at one more Olympic medal next year.”

Yuzuru turned and looked at him so fast his neck popped. “Wait, what?!” He frowned. “Why would you be thinking about that?”

Brian laughed. “Yuzuru, you just threw a triple axel, a quad toe, and some competition-worthy spins just goofing off for your kid,” he said seriously. “Even if you’re a little older now, without needing so many big quads to win, you could come back and blow the competition away,” he said firmly. “You won so much because you had the artistry _and_ the quads.” He waved a hand vacantly. “The kid that just won the grand prix final had two quad toes not half as good as the one you just did for fun and he won because he has good edges, intricate choreography, beautiful spins, and skates clean even with a lower base difficulty for jumps.” He looked at Yuzuru. “You’re out of shape, but not bad. If you started going to the gym again for a month, did ice shows this summer, and came back to train with me in July, I could have you competition ready by the Challenger season start. You would have to get the JSF to let you into qualifiers for the Grand Prix season, but I highly doubt they wouldn’t celebrate the return of the best figure skater in the history of the sport.” Yuzuru rolled his eyes at that title, but Brian looked at him with a serious look.

“You really think this?” Yuzuru asked, knowing better than to dismiss what Brian was offering without at least thinking about it. Brian nodded silently. “I’ll be twenty-seven when the Olympics start next year.”

“And a thirty-two year old medaled at the Grand Prix two months ago,” he said with a shrug. “It’s all relative. Some guys are burned out at twenty, some are hitting their prime at thirty.” He nodded to Mateo. “Be honest, if not for him, would you have retired when you did?” he asked, and Yuzuru shook his head slowly. “Do you think you would still be skating now?” he asked, and Yuzuru had to really think for a moment, but he realized that, honestly, had he stayed healthy, he would have skated for as long as he could. He nodded carefully. Brian nodded as well. “I understand why you retired, and obviously it was a great reason,” he said softly. “And I know what I’m asking of you by suggesting you give it another year,” he added, and Yuzuru looked at Mateo as he spoke. “But I think you could win a third Olympics, Yuzuru. I really do. And I won’t say something dramatic like ‘you shouldn’t waste this talent’, because you’re not wasting anything by choosing family over your sport.” He shrugged. “I just think you are still good enough to compete and it’s worth considering.”

Yuzuru nodded carefully, looking down at his lap. “I- I have not even thought about it before,” he admitted. “I don’t know that I would want to. Mateo is old enough he doesn’t need me all day anymore, but I enjoy being there for him without having to leave him all day with a babysitter like most parents do. I’m lucky that I’m able to stay home with him.”

Brian smiled. “Yeah, you are. And I’m not trying to talk you into it,” he said firmly. “If you say no, then it’s okay. I will let it drop. I do have other skaters to deal with so it’s not like I’m desperate to have you back to annoying me again,” he teased and Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “ _But_ ,” he stressed. “If you were to want to give it at least a shot, I’d be happy to talk to Tracy about getting you back into shape. And you could at least do summer ice shows with all your old fellow skaters and test the waters. No contracts. No commitments. Hell, the JSF might not even want to pay to train you again,” he acknowledged. “Uno has been their top skater for thee years now and he’s amazing, they might not want you back bad enough to fund you.”

Yuzuru bit his lip and looked at Brian. “I’ll think about it,” he whispered. “I doubt I’m going to say yes, but it would be silly to not think about it.”

Brian smiled and patted his knee before standing up. “Either way, your kid is gonna be a great skater,” he said, nodding back out to the ice. Yuzuru turned around quickly, and his eyes widened at what he saw.

Mateo was skating backwards with a very pleased look on his face and absolutely no help at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad to see people are enjoying more of their little family's story <3

“I can’t believe I missed it!” Javi whined dramatically, pouting as he carried Mateo, looking at him with the most over the top pouty face he could manage. “My little man skated backwards and I was talking to dumb grownups.”

Mateo giggled. “Tousan and Coach Brian saw!” he said, hanging off of Javier’s neck when he looked at Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru smiled secretively. “He learned how all on his own,” he told Javier, who raised an eyebrow in real curiosity this time, not dramatics. “I was talking with Brian and he said, ‘Mateo will be a great skater one day’ and I looked back and there he was! Skating backwards all on his own.”

Javier beamed as he looked at Mateo. “Really? That’s so good!” He kissed his forehead. “Oh, Mijo. You’re such a big boy. You’re gonna be a better skater than Papa, aren’t you?” he asked.

Mateo’s eyes lit up. “Papa, Tousan say that you can do biiiig jumps!” he said, holding his hands up like an explosion. “He was very cool and he sayed you do them too!”

Javier chuckled. “I might still can manage a few, but I’m getting old,” he joked. “I might jump up and then come down and my knees just go ‘bye bye!’ and my legs will fall off,” he joked and Mateo laughed.

“Papa is silly,” he said, patting Javier’s face. “Tousan was cool!” he said in that over-the-top way toddlers had, and Yuzuru couldn’t help but picture Mateo watching him on TV competing and think about what Brian asked of him.

He looked at Javier and decided that later, he would talk to him about it. Javi was his husband because he was his best friend, and he trusted nobody better to try and work things out in his own head. 

~

Javier noticed Yuzuru was acting odd most of the evening, but it was only after they got Mateo to bed and he came out from a shower to find Yuzuru lying on his back on top of the covers, not in bed and trying to sleep, that he remembered he had meant to ask him what was bothering him. 

“Yuzu?” he asked as he walked over to the bed. He pulled back the covers and slid under, tugging playfully until Yuzuru gave in and let him have the covers he lay on top of. Yuzuru wiggled under the covers and settled looking up at the ceiling again. “You okay?” he asked, laying on one side to look at his husband, searching his face for the faint signs of tension there. 

“Brian thinks I should compete again.” 

Javier’s brain ground to a halt. That’s the last thing he ever expected Yuzuru to say. “What?” he asked faintly.

Yuzuru sighed, rubbing at his eyes with his palm. “He saw me showing off for Mateo and said he thinks with the new judging that it won’t matter I can’t do all the quads at my age safely. I did what he called a ‘textbook’ quad toe loop just showing off for Mateo when I haven’t done one in months and the man who won the Grand Prix Final only had two toe loops in his free skate now that there’s less points in shitty jumps and more in clean skates.” He looked over at Javier. “He thinks I can win another Olympic medal.”

Javier just stared. “Do you think so?” he asked carefully and Yuzuru scrunched his nose.

“I have no idea?” he said, more of a question than a statement. He sighed. “But I cannot stop thinking about it. I don’t necessarily miss competition, but now that he made me think about it, I can see it so easily.” He looked at Javier. “I know he’s right about how my style of skating is what scores the most now, even if I can’t do the jumps again. If I did it, I could really have a chance.” He rolled into Javier’s chest, whining against his shirt. “Javi, what is going on in my head?”

Javier carefully curled his arms around him and stroked his hair. “Well this is… unexpected.” Javier thought about it, though, and if Yuzuru really just casually threw a quad toe without having trained at all, maybe he did still have what it took. There was no denying that even at twenty-six, Yuzuru wasn’t suffering any of the aches and pains that Javier already was. He knew that by the time he was forty, he would definitely be on arthritis medication. As it was, when it was particularly cold and rainy, his knees ached. Yuzuru was healthier, though. He had been so much smaller so his body sustained less impact to his joints every time he jumped. When they were competing, Yuzuru had weighed less than fifty-five kilograms before he started working out and built muscle. Even at his heaviest, he was just over fifty-five kilograms. Javier, even at his least muscular and least heavy, was always over seventy kilograms. That was a lot more weight to land on his knees. He also skated longer than Yuzuru did at the senior level. 

He wondered if Yuzuru’s body could take getting back into it now that there were less quads to worry about. He gently stroked a hand down the plane of Yuzuru’s side and felt his ribs and then soft side before he got to his hip. He’d gotten smaller than ever after he lost the pregnancy weight, losing a lot of his muscle mass. It would take a while to get back into shape, probably. “Do you think you can do it?” he asked Yuzuru.

Yuzuru hesitated and touched his chest. “I- I think Brian’s plan sounds really tempting,” he admitted. “He asked if I would have been retired by now if I hadn’t had Mateo and I just… I have a feeling the answer is no,” he whispered. “I don’t regret it ever, Mateo is the best thing to ever happen to me, but if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I think I would have skated until my body gave up, even if I wasn’t winning anymore, just because I loved it so much.” He smiled up at Javier faintly. “Before you and Mateo, skating was the one thing I loved most in the world. It will never be that again, I know, but if things had gone differently, I would probably be getting ready for Worlds right now.”

Javier smiled down at his husband, touching his bottom lip gently. “Oh-ho, so you think you would still be good enough to be chosen for Worlds, eh?” he teased and Yuzuru giggled and rolled his eyes.

“I just think that I would have nothing to take me away from it,” he countered. 

Javier rubbed his back soothingly. “What was Brian’s plan?” he asked, and Yuzuru hummed, seeming to think for a moment.

“Start with going to the gym to get in shape. Then talk to the JSF to see if they would even have me back-“

“You’re a two-time Olympian, of course they would,” Javier said with an eye-roll, and Yuzuru shushed him and went on.

“Then do ice shows this summer to get used to the idea again,” he said. “And if I decide yes, then I start training and be ready by the beginning of Challenger series season.”

Javier looked into his eyes for a while. “It would mean no more all day with Mateo. We would have to find a nanny or daycare or something. Then there’s the chance that for a whole month of tours, you would have to be away from him. Competitions would take you away for weeks at a time.” He saw the fear creeping into his eyes and kissed his forehead. “I’m not trying to discourage you. If you want this, I’ll support you,” he promised. “But I know how used to our life as it is that you are.”

Yuzuru sighed. “That is what is holding me back,” he confessed. “I honestly think I would like to at least get in shape and do summer ice shows and just- just try.” He hesitated. “But Mateo.” His voice broke slightly on their son’s name and Javier held him close. “It would be so hard, Javi. Not seeing my baby would hurt so much. Especially for the ice shows. I can’t do that,” he admitted. “I cannot go a month without my child. I can’t go a month without you, but not seeing my baby for a month would break me.”

Javier kissed his forehead. “I know,” he breathed. “But,” he said softly, “What if you can?” he asked. “What if you can make a comeback and do well? Mateo can see his Tousan winning medals.” He stroked Yuzuru’s cheek softly. “You’re in a lot better shape physically than I was when I retired. You took better care of your body than I ever did, and time off hasn’t made you lazy. You’re still in decent shape.”

Yuzuru rubbed Javier’s soft stomach with a teasing grin. “You’re sexy with a ‘dad’ body,” he teased. Javier was by no means fat or anything, but he wasn’t rock solid like he once was. He did not have visibly rippled muscles anymore. Yuzuru wasn’t in the best shape, but at least he wasn’t growing soft around the edges (thought Javier always said that he figured Yuzuru wouldn’t ever be that way, as naturally skinny as he was). Yuzuru sighed, pulling out of Javier’s hold to return to his own pillow. “I’ll think about it. There’s no guarantee I’ll even be able to.”

Javier nodded, facing him with a searching look. “It’s up to you, _Querido_ , but if you want to do this, I’ll support you. We can make it work somehow.”

Yuzuru smiled at Javier and patted his cheek once more before closing his eyes. “You’re a good husband,” he mumbled softly and Javier kissed his fingertips before returning Yuzuru’s hand to the bed between them.

“So are you, Yuzuru.”

As Yuzuru tried to fall asleep, so many thoughts of the past and ‘what if’s swirled in his head, leaving him wondering what the coming year could bring to him and his family.

~

Yuzuru made some calls one morning while Javier was still asleep and Mateo was playing with Effie in the living room, and afterwards, he and Mateo accompanied Javier to work since Mateo wanted to watch his Papa teaching skaters.

When Brian came out of his office on his way to the gym, Yuzuru snuck away to go talk to him. When Brian saw him, he stopped and Yuzuru approached him, biting his lip. “Do you think I have any chance?” he asked simply.

Brian looked at him for a long time before nodding once. “Javier’s contract gives the family a pass to the gym. Spend the next month getting in shape and then come talk to me,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded, bowing his head before going back to where Mateo was still watching eagerly through the windows at the novice skaters Javier was teaching. 

Yuzuru sat back down and leaned over to press his lips to Mateo’s hair, closing his eyes to just breathe in the soft, baby-sweet scent of his son’s curls for a while as his pulse slowed back down even as his mind kept racing.

~

Javier didn’t push Yuzuru to talk to him about everything or ask questions about every detail, but he knew that Yuzuru was taking this talk of a comeback seriously. He had watched Yuzuru looking things up and had more than once learned that Yuzuru was making international calls to Japan. When he talked to his family, he just used Skype, so this had to be something involving the JSF. He trusted that whatever decisions Yuzuru was making, he could make them without Javier pushing him one way or another. The last thing he wanted to do was try to influence Yuzuru’s decisions. 

Part of Javier was terrified at the thought of how their lives would change if Yuzuru decided to skate again. Mateo was almost three years old. He would be three by the time the season started, and he would be starting preschool since they wanted him to have a successful education. They had already decided to just enroll him in preschool, so Javier couldn’t travel with Yuzuru and bring Mateo with them if he started competing when it meant taking Mateo out of school every two weeks. Yuzuru would have to be doing all of this virtually alone.

Another part of Javier was happy, though. Yuzuru Hanyu retiring early had been the only negative to their family growing, because the world deserved more time to see someone so beautiful and graceful and powerful on the ice. If he could give the world another year of his blessed presence, Javier was ecstatic for that. Yuzuru would likely have still been skating continuously today if he hadn’t had Mateo, and neither of them regretted that. But it was still a shame for the sport. Javier knew that Yuzuru might even miss it. He still skated all the time. He loved the ice the way even Javier never had. Javier had loved his sport, but he had other things he enjoyed for fun. Skating had always been what he was good at and what he wanted to bring attention to back home in Spain, but Yuzuru had an almost spiritual connection with the ice and he skated like it was the one thing he lived for. That had changed with him and Mateo, but there was no denying that Yuzuru still loved the ice.

When Yuzuru started going to the gym and working out, Javier knew he was going to try. The JSF must have given him some good news, because he was getting into shape just to see what he had in him, and Javier was torn between hoping he could do it and fearing how disappointed he would be if he couldn’t. 

Either way, Javier decided as he got Mateo ready for bed alone since an exhausted Yuzuru had already gone to bed, he would do what it took to support his husband in his endeavors and be ready to comfort him should it not go the way he wanted it to.

~

Yuzuru had felt like the most terrible, out of shape, horrible person ever when he first started going to the gym and everything that used to be easy was so hard, but after just a month, he was feeling better than he had in years. He had more energy he hadn’t even noticed himself losing. 

He also could tell he must be looking good, because Javier kept getting distracted by his ass when they were doing things, and it never failed to make Yuzuru laugh. Nothing was as amusing as trying to buy groceries and ask Javier which juice brand he liked better and, when he got no reply, turning to see Javier gazing with unfocused eyes at Yuzuru’s ass and just humming responses instead of even listening. Yuzuru had smirked and bent a little further over the cart, just to fuck with him, only to be super embarrassed when an elderly lady passing winked and gave him a thumbs up after noticing him messing with his husband. 

As a side effect, he and Javier were having way more sex than usual. It helped that, as Mateo got older, he was less likely to wake up wanting water or crying from a bad dream. Yuzuru really enjoyed putting Mateo to bed, cleaning up while Javier got in the shower, and then sneaking into the bathroom to climb in with him. He had more energy and Javier clearly enjoyed what working out was doing to his lower half’s muscles, so it was so easy to sneak more time together than it had been before. Sometimes he felt bad since Javier was clearly tired sometimes, but he never complained when he woke up even more tired after Yuzuru’s ass and thighs enticed him to forgo going to bed at a decent hour and get the rest he needed.

“I’m getting grays faster and faster because of these,” Javier complained one night as he lay between Yuzuru’s legs and kissed his thighs after they had made love and were lazing in the afterglow. “So much temptation is bad for my sleep cycle.”

Yuzuru giggled, twisting a curl around his hair. “You always liked my thighs too much when we were competing.”

“I always liked thighs and butts on women, it’s no surprise I loved them on you,” he said, nuzzling his inner thigh. “You always are beautiful to me, Yuzuru, but lately…” He grinned. “Your exercise is doing you good.”

Yuzuru hummed. “I like the way I feel. I didn’t even notice I didn’t have as much energy. I guess years of running after Mateo keeps me tired enough I forgot I used to feel so high-energy. Now I feel like I could run after Mateo and him get tired before me.”

Javier smiled and crawled up his body, stopping to press a kiss to the lines on his belly before continuing upwards. “Mateo definitely gets his hyperactive from you,” he said and Yuzuru grinned, tipping his chin up to peck Javier’s lips.

“Your mother says you were just as wild as a child, so don’t try to blame me only.” He patted Javier’s cheeks affectionately, wrapping his legs around him. “You should work out with me sometime. Then you might be able to keep up during sex,” he teased and Javier smirked.

“Oh? I didn’t hear you complaining,” he said, brushing Yuzuru’s cheek with his knuckle. 

Yuzuru started to flirt back but suddenly the sound of a tiny voice yelling. “PAPA!” sounded through the house and Javier sighed, letting his head hang.

Yuzuru chuckled and kissed his cheek. “The bad dreams are definitely my fault,” he said apologetically. When he was a child, he had the worst night-terrors, his mother said. Thankfully, Mateo’s weren’t that bad usually, but whenever he had a scary dream, he cried for his Papa to come make sure all the monsters were gone. 

Javier climbed off of the bed and pulled on some clothes. “Time to go be the big, strong Papa who scares away the monsters,” he said and Yuzuru just watched with affection as Javier went to go care for their son. When he heard the soft lull of Javier’s soothing, comforting voice speaking Spanish comfort words to Mateo down the hall, he rolled onto his side and smiled into the pillow. 

Sometimes it still seemed unreal that he got so lucky with how good of a partner and father Javier was. Yuzuru fell asleep to the faint sounds of Javier getting Mateo back to sleep and couldn’t shake the feeling that his life was perfect.

~

Javier was half-expecting it when the word came, but it was still a little surprising when Yuzuru came to him after a long call and let him know that the JSF was going to help him find sponsors again and had approved his request to enter qualifying competitions back home to get back to the national level so he could compete.

“All I have to pay for right now is Brian and gear and stuff, and I have enough to afford that for a while, until I can start getting sponsors again,” Yuzuru said, and Javier smiled at how excited Yuzuru seemed. He was fidgeting and messing with his hair behind his ears, and Javier couldn’t help but really hope this worked out for him. 

Javier hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. “So we’re doing this?” he asked, and Yuzuru leaned back and smiled. 

“We are doing this,” he agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad to see this fic being loved <3

Adjusting was hard for all of them, but it wasn’t impossible. Mateo didn’t enjoy not having his Tousan around him all day when he started training three hours a day. He spent the time in dance class, stroking class, and practicing his basic skating skills after so long off the ice. There was no work yet on goals for the next season, because for now the goal was to get Yuzuru in skating shape and ready to go should the summer shows go well enough he decided he could handle the time away from his family. 

“Tousan makes it better,” Mateo complained when Javier gave him his breakfast.

Javier raised an eyebrow at the cereal and milk sitting on the table. “Oh yeah? Tousan makes cereal better than me?” he asked, and Mateo pouted grumpily and nodded. “Well, Tousan must have some magic powers,” he said flatly. “Now,” he added, leaning across the table. “Eat your breakfast and don’t complain.”

Mateo huffed. “Fine.”

“Watch that tone, Mateo,” Javier said sternly. “I know you don’t like Tousan not being here, but you have to listen to me, too.”

Mateo pouted. “Why isn’t Tousan home?”

Javier sighed and reached out to brush a hand over his curls. “Mijo, you know why,” he said softly, because they had explained to him that Yuzuru would be skating again. “We’ve all got to work together so that Tousan can be a good skater again,” he said gently. “You know how happy he will be when he skates again? Remember those cool things we showed you in the videos?” Mateo nodded sullenly. “Remember how happy he was every time they put a medal around his neck?” Mateo nodded again, poking at his food. Javier nodded. “He wants to do that again. Don’t you want to see him do all those beautiful skating things again?”

“I guess,” Mateo said glumly.

Javier smiled softly. “I know this is hard, Mateo, because every day has been the same for us, Tousan taking care of both of us,” he said honestly. Since he worked, Yuzuru didn’t have any problems fulfilling the ‘stay at home dad’ duties. Javier had felt weird about it at first, kind of like some strange gender roles even though Yuzuru wasn’t a woman, since he had been the one to carry their child, but Yuzuru just thought of it was sharing the duties of their family. Javier had a job that he spent all day doing and Yuzuru didn’t want a job, he wanted to care for his son so he didn’t have to go to daycare. Because Mateo didn’t require every single second of Yuzuru’s attention, he did his best to tidy up their apartment so that Javier just had to clear up after himself and help with dinner and the dishes. Mateo was used to Yuzuru taking care of his breakfast and lunch every single day, and he was used to Yuzuru knowing exactly what he wanted because Yuzuru had spent every single day of his life – more or less – with him so far. 

While it was not the point, Yuzuru had already decided it was probably for the best they do this so that when it came time for Mateo to start school, his separation anxiety wouldn’t be as hard on the both of them. 

Mateo was not liking the childcare center at work either. 

Since Yuzuru did his workouts and dance class early in the morning and his skating training in the afternoon, and since Javier’s classes were from nine until three, the easiest and least expensive thing for them was for Javier to bring Mateo with him and take him to the childcare center that generally serviced members of the club who were going to the gym and needed someone to watch their child while they did so. Mateo didn’t like staying with a grown-up who wasn’t someone in his family, but it was probably for the best he got used to that anyway, they figured.

After Yuzuru finished his morning work around ten, he and Mateo spent the middle of the day together until it was time for Javier to leave work. Yuzuru had ice time from four to six, so by the time he got home for the day, Javier had dinner ready for all of them and he was able to get Mateo ready for bed while Yuzuru had time to relax after dinner.

It wasn’t as easy as their life had been before, but they were able to make it work when Mateo wasn’t being so upset by change.

“Alright, once you finish go get your jacket,” Javier told Mateo as he put his dishes in the sink. “Papa has to get to work.” As he faced the sink, he steeled himself for a tantrum that, thankfully, didn’t come.

Mateo, much to his relief, just nodded and went to go get his jacket. Javier relaxed and closed his eyes in a silent thanks to the universe for avoiding that difficulty. 

Javier loved being a parent more than anything in the world, but sometimes it was the hardest thing he had ever done. It was so hard to try and reason with a child that just didn’t – and couldn’t – understand so much about the world. It was hard to try and look at things from Mateo’s perspective and find a way to make him understand something that he couldn’t possibly _really_ understand. Nobody ever told him that being a parent involved breaking your child’s heart so damn often, either. From his and Yuzuru’s perspective, it made so much sense to do a lot of things they did, because they knew why Mateo had to stay with the childcare keeper, for example, or why Yuzuru couldn’t be with Mateo every single moment of the day. 

But to Mateo, all he understood was that he loved his fathers and they were his family, and why shouldn’t he spend all day with his family? Javier knew it hurt Mateo to have Yuzuru suddenly want to do something that didn’t involve him when all Mateo had ever known was being the center of Yuzuru’s day. He couldn’t understand why his Tousan suddenly wanted to not stay with him anymore. Javier thought he understood to some extent that Yuzuru was doing something that would make him happy, and he knew Mateo wanted his parents to be happy, but he wasn’t sure he could comprehend that Yuzuru could miss him and still be happy skating. It hurt so much to see Mateo upset, but it hurt even worse to know that he couldn’t fix it. Javier couldn’t make Mateo happy when it was just a part of life he was unhappy with. Learning and growing hurt sometimes and Javier just had to watch his child be unhappy and live with it, and it was _so fucking hard_.

During his break at work, he sat down and called his mother in a stairwell, not wanting to be interrupted.

“Javier? Is everything okay? You never call this time of day,” she said when she answered, and he just smiled faintly.

“I just wanted to tell you and Papa ‘thank you’ for how much you always did for me,” he said softly. “I’ve always been grateful for the sacrifices you both made for me, but I never _really_ knew how hard it was,” he admitted.

She chuckled softly. “Oh my baby boy. Let me guess, Mateo isn’t handling change well, is he,” she said and he sighed.

“I know he can’t understand why things are changing and I can see how upset it makes him, and it’s _terrible_ ,” he said weakly, throat tightening. “Every time he looks at me with those betrayed eyes it feels like I’m hurting him on purpose and I feel like the worst person alive,” he said with a shaky voice. “I know it isn’t that bad and he’ll be fine, but every time he gets upset, I feel like a failure as a father. I know Yuzuru feels it just as bad, too. He is the one who wanted to skate again, so he feels like it’s his fault that this change is happening, and that just makes it extra shitty, because both my son and my husband are suffering and I can’t just fix it. There’s nothing to fix. It’s just life but it feels like I should be able to make them better, but I _can’t_ ,” he whispered.

“Trust me, Javier, this is all normal,” she comforted. “I know it hurts, and I know how hard it is to watch your partner and your child both struggling. Believe me when I say it will be worth it,” she said firmly. “Yuzuru would be miserable if he gave up on this chance. He’d spend the rest of his life wondering ‘what if’. And Mateo has to grow, and growing up is a traumatic experience for most children. You think it was fun watching Laura cry every day for a month when I took her to school her first year? You were less upset by the change, but she cried every single day for the first month of school and I cried every single day she cried, because it’s terrible watching your child be upset.” Javier chuckled and nodded, because he understood that. 

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I just-“ He sucked in a breath. “Even if I knew it’s all pretty standard, it’s a comfort to be reassured that this is just normal and I’m not actually going crazy.”

“Being a parent is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, Baby,” she said softly. “But you love it, don’t you?” she teased and he laughed.

“I think about every single coincidence that gave me my child all the time and wonder how I got so lucky,” he said earnestly. “I think about the stupidest stuff and get giddy sometimes. And I mean stupid. There are days I want to call Yuzuru’s parents and thank them for getting married and having children, because if they hadn’t met, I wouldn’t have my son. It’s ridiculous how much I love being a father.”

Enriqueta laughed heartily at that. “Oh Javi. You’re hilarious.” After a moment of laughing she spoke in a softer voice. “Just remember that while it is hard, it’s all part of being a parent. It doesn’t get easier, but it’s always worth it.”

Javier sighed, closing his eyes. “Yeah, it’s definitely worth it.”

~

Javier got his first taste of seeing Yuzuru’s return to skating when schedules changed around a bit due to a late-spring snow storm out of nowhere and Tracy’s training schedule got messed up, meaning while Javier taught his class on one end of the ice, her class worked on the other end. Javier and his kids took a break for water and Javier stood and watched as Yuzuru and some other senior level skaters did their stroking patterns across the ice in sync with one another. 

It was amusing to see kids that had been juniors when they retired skating with Yuzuru now. Yuzuru still didn’t look out of place from either his age or his time off. Yuzuru had always looked younger than he was, aging very well even after having their son for three years, and he had lost none of the fluidity and depth in his skating from his time off, Javier observed. He was still so _right_ on the ice. Javier had always thought Yuzuru looked at home out on the ice, and the way he smiled and closed his eyes through the stroking patterns even as he skated in sync with a teenage boy was like going back in time to when they did the same thing during training together.

“It’s amazing, right?” Javier didn’t even startle at the sound of Brian’s voice beside him. He turned and saw him walking in with coffee in his hands and his outerwear still on, clearly on his way to his office before he had to start training skaters again for the day in a little while. His eyes were on Yuzuru and he chuckled softly. “It’s like I’ve gone back three years in the blink of an eye.”

Javier chuckled. “I knew when he came to me about skating again that it would happen, because he still gets this way about skating just for fun. He touches the ice and it’s like he’s transported somewhere else I never did understand,” he said softly, and his heart suddenly felt like it was too big for his chest. “God, I love my husband,” he blurted out, unable to restrain himself. He laughed in embarrassment and put a hand over his face. “He’s just-“ He hesitated and then shook his head, watching the way Yuzuru skated with the most serene look of peace on his face. “I can’t even put it into words. Just look at him. It’s like I’m watching an angel in black training gear and later, that angel will hold my baby in his arms and kiss me goodnight. I’m so ridiculous over him even after all this time,” he admitted sheepishly. 

Brian snorted. “You’ve always been sappy,” he said bluntly and Javier grinned.

“Just the passion of a Spanish heart,” he joked, then rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ve got kids to teach,” he said in parting, nodding to Brian as he walked over to where his kids were all waiting for him to start them on the next part of their training. 

Every time he caught a flash of black out of the corner of his eye down the ice, his heart skipped a beat and he knew when he got home he was going to have to hug the crap out of his husband just to remind himself he was real and this was truly how lucky Javier had been in his life.

~

Yuzuru and Javier sat on the couch with Mateo relaxing on Javier’s lap while they watched Worlds on TV. They had done this every year since their retirement and Javier’s final victory at Worlds, and yet this year, it felt very different. Yuzuru was scoping out the competition and Javier was trying to explain some of it to Mateo, who was now old enough to be curious. 

And he also had the bluntness of a child, which was hilarious. 

When the stats for Worlds victories came up and the commentator talked about winners in the last ten years and said Yuzuru’s name twice and Javier’s three times, he said, “I thought Tousan was better than you, Papa, so how you win more times?” without an ounce of shyness and Yuzuru snorted out a giggle at Mateo’s words.

Javier chuckled. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I probably only won the third time because Tousan didn’t compete at the last one.” He tickled Mateo. “He had you in his belly so he couldn’t compete against me.”

Yuzuru smiled sweetly. “You won because you were the best, Javi, not because I wasn’t there,” he said, and Javier grinned flirtatiously.

“You were always better than me. I just got lucky a few times,” he said with a teasing wink. He lowered his voice into a faux whisper. “Tousan is the only man in a loooong time to win back to back gold medals at the Olympics. He’s way better than me.”

Yuzuru poked him but then leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I only ever became such a good skater because I wanted to skate like Javier Fernandez,” he said, then looked at Mateo. “Your papa was the coolest figure skater I ever saw when I was a teenager, so I came here to Canada to try to be as cool as he was. Just because I’ve got more medals in some things doesn’t mean I’m any better than he was.”

Mateo made a face. “You are both weird,” he said, then wiggled out of Javier’s lap to go over to where Effie was sleeping on the chair and climb up to sit with her instead, leaning down to hug her as he got bored with figure skating on TV. 

Javier grinned as he watched Mateo and Yuzuru just turned and used Mateo’s absence from Javier’s lap to lay across it himself, resting his upper half across Javier’s thighs and using the arm of the couch as a pillow. Javier stroked his hair with a soft smile. “Maybe you’ll win worlds next year,” he said offhandedly. “Tie me in medals there.”

Yuzuru grinned up at him. “You really think I’m doing the right thing in coming back?” he asked, and Javier gave him a grin.

“ _Querido_ , I see you on the ice and it’s like you never left.” He brushed Yuzuru’s bangs from his eyes. “You’re still the most beautiful skater I’ve ever seen.”

Yuzuru smiled bashfully. “Javi, stop,” he said and Javier shook his head, smile growing more gentle.

“It’s just true. You are still Yuzuru Hanyu, the best figure skater in history of the sport.” He leaned down to peck his lips. “And I’m still the luckiest man alive to have been the one to steal your heart.”

Yuzuru reached up and tugged Javier back down, kissing him chastely but sweetly. “I’m still lucky you got me pregnant,” he whispered. “Who knows if we would even be married if not for him. No other husband would ever be so supportive at me coming back to such a hard sport, especially when I have a child to care for, too.”

Javier touched his cheek sweetly. “I would have to fight your husband for trying to keep my best friend from what he loves to do,” he teased and Yuzuru giggled.

“What if it was that way?” he asked, nose scrunched adorably. “What if we hadn’t got together and I had met someone else and retired and married him and you were still my best friend? It would be so _strange_ ,” he mused. “I can’t really imagine it,” he admitted. “You were the only boy I ever really liked when I was young. I married the only man I’ve ever loved, so it’s odd to think of not having did that.”

Javier grinned. “I’d probably have already stolen you from your imaginary asshole husband and gotten you pregnant anyways,” he joked and Yuzuru laughed that adorable, honking, ugly laugh that Javier loved so much even still. 

“Javi the homewrecker, seducing me away from my husband,” he tutted teasingly. “Such a bad man.”

Javier smirked and raised a hand to tickle him. “I’ll show you ‘bad man’,” he whispered warningly, and Yuzuru gave him a glare that had no effect, because Javier immediately dug his fingertips into Yuzuru’s sides, laughing when Yuzuru squealed and lurched in his arms as he tickled him.

“JAVI NO!” he cried, giggling and swatting at his hands, though Javier didn’t relent. 

“Oh? What’s that? ‘Tickle me more, Habi’?” he faux-quoted, and Yuzuru giggled breathlessly through Javier’s assault on his ticklish sides. He could see Yuzuru’s eyes gleaming with mirth and only stopped when Yuzuru’s giggles became a bit raspy.

“Terrible man. Shitty husband,” Yuzuru wheezed, panting as he flopped back, down, though he continued to smile to show he liked Javier’s flirtatious side. However, as he continued to wheeze some, Javier started to feel bad.

“Sit up for me, _Querido_ ,” he said softly, and when Yuzuru did, turning around to lay against the other end of the couch, Javier got up and went to the kitchen to grab Yuzuru’s inhaler. When he brought it to him, kissing his forehead apologetically, Yuzuru just took a puff and then put it aside, sighing as he reached out to take Javier’s hand with a silent reassurance he was okay. Javier tangled their fingers together and kissed his husband’s wedding ring before turning back to the TV, which was back from commercial.

They left their hands tangled together in Javier’s lap the whole time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of change for our little family this time around!

When the time came to do the summer ice shows in June, they chose to both accept the offers they had turned down the past two years. Every year since they retired, they were asked to do multiple shows in the summer, and they never accepted due to Mateo and Javier’s job, but this year, Yuzuru confessed that the only way he could go home and spend a month doing ice shows in Japan was if they came with him at least part of the time. 

In the end, Javier worked it out with Brian and the club to get three weeks off to go do ice shows. Yuzuru would fly out a week before Javier and Mateo followed him to Japan, and Yuzuru’s mother excitedly accepted their request that she travel with them to help look after Mateo while they were busy. When the ice show they were contracted for ended, Javier and Mateo would come home and leave Yuzuru to deal with sponsorship offers and press events to announce his return to competition for the season. 

It wasn’t perfect for Yuzuru, who would have to spend a week away from his child twice that summer, but it was better than five weeks away from him. He would spend whole weeks away from him in the coming season, so he had to get used to it. He and Javier had spent a lot of time apart when he was pregnant, but since their marriage, they hadn’t spent much time apart at all, and he’d never spent so much time away from his son. 

The worst part was when Yuzuru had to leave for the airport too early for Mateo to be awake. Javier offered that it would be okay to wake him up, even if he was grouchy all day from not enough sleep, but Yuzuru refused since he knew Javier would have enough trouble with a well-tempered Mateo once he found out his father had left. 

“If we wake him up just so I can say goodbye, he’ll be twice as prone to tantrums all day,” he said, voice tight as he looked down the hall towards the nursery. 

Javier smiled sadly and nudged his hip. “At least go give him a kiss. You’re going to break down if you don’t, I know it,” he said and Yuzuru nodded with a pained look as he slipped away and went to sleeping Mateo.

Looking down at Mateo on his little toddler bed – he had been so excited about his big boy bed – Yuzuru couldn’t help but kneel beside the bed to be on his level. He looked at his baby’s sleeping face and brushed a curl from his forehead gently. “I love you more than you will ever know, Mateo,” he whispered, leaning in to press his lips to his face. He stayed there for a moment, just breathing in his baby’s scent for a moment before he sat back. He looked up at his old friend, Pooh-san, sitting on the dresser, watching over Mateo, and he smiled softly. “Pooh-san will take care of you while I’m gone. He was always there for me when I needed him, so he’ll be here for you while Tousan is gone,” he whispered before kissing Mateo once more and standing up. 

When he walked out of the room, he didn’t look back, because he knew if he did he might never actually leave. Javier was waiting in the hallway and Yuzuru just stepped into his chest, hiding his shaking lips in Javier’s shirt. Javier hugged him close and kissed his hair. “We’ll see you before you know it. Have some fun with all our old friends,” he urged.

“I’ll miss you two,” Yuzuru murmured. He pulled back and looked up at Javier with glassy eyes. “I love you and you better call me every single day,” he demanded and Javier grinned.

“Of course, Yuzuru,” he said, kissing his sweetly. Yuzuru’s hands came up to hold Javier’s face as they kissed, and he could tell that Javier was going to miss him, too, in the way his hands held Yuzuru’s hips tightly. “I love you,” he breathed when they parted.

“See you in a week,” Yuzuru said, hugging him one more time before he absolutely had to go before the cab waiting for him outside gave up and left without him.

~

It had been a long time since Yuzuru saw a lot of skaters he had skated with in the past, so he felt pretty nervous arriving late to the first meeting with the show organizers. He walked into the backroom that they had booked at a restaurant to have a ‘let’s get started!’ dinner while going over the introductions and details from the organizers and smiled sheepishly when there was only a single empty chair left at the long table and everybody turned to look right at him. 

The woman who was working as the representative for the organizers walked over to greet him. “Hanyu-San, it’s so great to have you join us this year. We were delighted to add you to the line-up,” she said, and he bowed gratefully.

“I was happy to accept,” he said, then headed to his empty seat, nodding to a few people but not speaking to them because the woman was ready to pass out their information packets and get started welcoming them and discussing the schedules and such. 

It was only after she finished and the meal was served that everybody started socializing and he was instantly the center of attention. “Yuzu-kun, I was so excited to hear you were joining us!” Nobunari said from across the table from Yuzuru. “It’s been a really long time.”

“Seriously,” Mao said excitedly beside him. “When you retired nobody knew you would be dropping out of skating altogether!”

He laughed. “Well, it’s hard to do shows and stuff when you have a baby,” he said with a shrug. 

“So, I heard a certain somebody is joining our little group for the second, third, and fourth shows,” Stephane said from down the table, and Yuzuru smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, Javier got three weeks off work to come join the show, mostly because I couldn’t handle leaving for a month without seeing our son, so he’s bringing Mateo here and my mother is going to travel with us to look after him while we’re busy,” he said, and a few people all made surprised sounds.

“Wow, your English is a lot better,” Johnny said from Stephane’s side. “I miss your adorable little trip-ups,” he declared decisively. 

Yuzuru laughed and rolled his eyes. “Well teaching a child to speak English taught me to speak more correctly.”

“He speaks English?” Nobu asked in surprise and Yuzuru nodded.

“Yeah, we’re staying in Canada for the foreseeable future, so even if Javier’s Japanese is good enough for us all to speak it together, he needed to be able to go to school in Canada when the time comes, so we primarily spoke English with him.” He giggled. “He still picked up Spanish and Japanese though. It’s adorable. Sometimes he messes up and forgets the words for stuff in one language and just drops in one of the others. He’s best at English, but we spent Christmas with both our families in Spain and he was able to speak to both sets of grandparents.”

“Now the important question,” Nobu said seriously. “Do you have pictures?” he asked, and Yuzuru beamed.

“Yes!” he said, pulling out his phone. Within moments, the whole table had come to cluster around him as he showed photos of Mateo to everybody, most of the all cooing over how adorable Mateo was until other skaters started bringing out photos of their kids. By the end of the night, they were all just cooing over each other’s children with all other topics forgotten. 

~

The first day of practice, Shoma skated over to Yuzuru while they were working on some positioning and grinned knowingly. “Be honest with me,” he said, looking him in the eyes. “Are you making a comeback?” Yuzuru stilled, and Shoma smirked. “My coach was telling me I should worry about that with you coming back to ice shows. She said the rumor was you were training again.”

Yuzuru hesitated a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I am,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Why? Afraid of some competition?” he teased. 

It wasn’t like Shoma was the only skater in Japan who was top notch material these days, but he was the number one Japanese skater for the past three years and they all knew that Yuzuru’s old skating style was already what the new judging system looked for. Shoma was good enough to win Worlds twice in the last three years, but Yuzuru had a natural grace that Shoma lacked and very few male skaters had ever had the same level of grace he had at his prime. 

“I’m excited,” Shoma said, grinning. “I get to beat an old man,” he said and Yuzuru laughed and Shoma skated away before Yuzuru could ruffle his hair or mess with him. 

~

Javier sighed as Mateo continued to cry, his head resting on the kitchen table as he refused to eat. “Mateo,” he said calmly, because he knew getting upset wouldn’t help. Mateo had been like this every morning since Yuzuru left and he woke up to his Tousan not being there. 

“Want Tousan!” he sobbed and Javier closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“And I said we would see him in a few days,” he replied but Mateo still cried.

Javier knew he needed to be strong, but when Mateo whimpered, “He won’t come back, will he Papa?” his heart broke a little bit.

Javier picked Mateo up and held him in his arms, rocking him gently like when he was a baby. “Shhhh,” he whispered, kissing his hair. “I promise, Tousan will be back. We’re going to go to Japan in a few days, Mateo. You and me, we’re gonna go see Tousan. He did not leave you,” he said firmly.

“Why’d he go?” he whined, sounding utterly hopeless. “Tousan leaved!”

“He _left_ ,” he corrected gently, “Because he’s skating again. You know this. He needs to do ice shows to get used to performing again.”

“But why?” Mateo cried, his little body shaking in Javier’s arms. 

Javier hugged him close. “Because he loves skating, Mateo. Don’t you like it when Tousan is happy?” he asked, stroking his curls. “He loves you and he loves me but we can’t expect him to give up everything besides the two of us,” he said to Mateo as much as himself. “When I got a job teaching skating, Tousan immediately gave up his own interests to stay home and keep you so I could work without worrying. I leave you every single day.”

Mateo sniffled. “But you are not Tousan,” he said and Javier chuckled, rubbing his tiny shoulders.

“No, but it’s just fair, Mijo. Tousan deserves to do what he loves. He can’t just be your Tousan and my husband. He has to be able to have more than just us.” He pulled Mateo up some to look at him. “He does not love you or me any less just because he’s got other things to do. You’re a big boy now, right? You don’t need Tousan to do every single thing for you, because you’re a big boy.” He kissed his little face. “He gave up what he loves for us, Baby Boy. He deserves for us to work together so he can have fun again.” He brushed a thumb along his cheek, wiping away tears. “Don’t you like seeing Tousan skating? Don’t we want him to be happy?”

Mateo sniffled and pouted. “But I miss Tousan,” he whimpered in the tiniest, most heartbroken voice and Javier’s chest tightened.

“I do, too,” he admitted. “But I love him so much and I want him to do what is best for him. You and I can handle this if it’s for Tousan, right? We love Tousan.”

Mateo nodded. “I love Tousan,” he agreed and Javier smiled.

“So can you please, for Tousan, eat some breakfast and let’s get ready to go?” he urged gently. “I promise you, we will see your Tousan in just a few more days. And we’re gonna see Obaasan, too,” he said and Mateo gasped, eyes widening.

“OBAASAN?!” he cried, instantly looking excited instead of tearful. 

Javier laughed and nodded. “Yes, Obaasan is going to travel with us for three whole weeks,” he said and Mateo gasped.

“That’s forever!” he said, and Javier couldn’t help but snort at his extreme reaction. He sat him down in his chair again and Mateo instantly started eating, looking far more determined to be good now that he knew he was gonna see Obaasan soon.

Javier silently patted himself on the back for being smart about bringing that little detail up as his secret weapon against an upset toddler.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens next with little Mateo and his parents???
> 
> This time, we go to JAPAN!

The first show and Yuzuru’s first performance in front of a crowd in over three years was a big success, and he had so much fun hanging out with a bunch of old friends and younger skaters he hadn’t really known for a while, but the day that Javier was supposed to arrive with Mateo, he could barely focus during choreography practice for the group performance. Javier was supposed to arrive a little late for choreo practice but in time for the individual ice times so he could work on his planned performance. He was performing two of his most popular skates and Yuzuru couldn’t wait to see Javier really skate again. He could never talk him into actually performing for him and Mateo any time they were at the rink together. 

Yuzuru was just getting his shoes back on in the locker room when he heard the unmistakable sound of a child’s feet running down the hallway, and not any child either. He knew his son’s gait, and he didn’t bother with tying his sneakers as he flew off the bench, startling some of the others who were still changing. He stumbled over someone’s training bag and nearly fell out into the hallway, only to beam when he spotted Mateo running away from Javier, giggling and looking back at his Papa like it was a fun game, even though Javier looked pretty annoyed.

“Mateo!” Yuzuru cried, and Mateo turned around instantly with a big, dramatic gasp.

“TOUSAN!” he all but screamed, then instantly ran faster than he already was, slamming into Yuzuru where he knelt down to catch him. “PAPA I FOUND TOUSAN!”

Yuzuru would never be able to have guessed he would burst into tears when he had his baby in his arms, because he thought he had done well so far being away from him, but there he was, on his knees just outside the locker room door, sobbing into his son’s curls as he held him tight. He rocked back and forth as he cried, clutching Mateo like someone was going to try to take him away. He felt a big, warm hand rest on his back and he lifted his eyes to see Javier crouching beside him. He leaned over, falling into Javier’s chest as he held Mateo and cried. Javier curled both arms around the two of them and laughed softly. “It’s okay, Yuzuru. Don’t cry, _Querido_ ,” he said, and Yuzuru just whimpered, clinging to Mateo. 

“Awwww, is this our little Mini-Yuzu?” Yuzuru sat back, wiping at his eyes with embarrassment at Johnny’s voice. He looked at the doorway to the locker room and saw several of the guys heads poking up over Johnny’s shoulders, eager to get a look at Mateo. 

Javier grinned and stood up. “Hey, guys,” he greeted, walking over to high-five a few of them.

Yuzuru laughed wetly and stood up, still holding Mateo in his arms. Mateo looked a little shy around so many strangers, but he wiped his face with his free hand as he walked over. “Mateo, these are some of Papa and Tousan’s friends,” he said in a watery tone. 

Mateo looked at them curiously and Johnny put his hands over his mouth. “Oh my Goooooood, I want to run away with him, he’s so cuuuuute!” he gushed as he looked at Mateo. 

“Wow he looks just like Javi,” Stephane commented and Yuzuru laughed, ruffling Mateo’s curls.

“I know, right?” He kissed Mateo’s cheek. “My one wish was that my baby look like his father and I got it for sure.”

“Oh my God!” a voice squealed from down the hall and Yuzuru turned only to beam when he saw Miki coming up the hall with her bags rolling behind her. She was also joining for the last three shows and Yuzuru hadn’t seen her in over two years, not since his and Javier’s wedding. 

She rushed up to them and instantly made grabby hands. “Give me the baby!” she said in English and he laughed.

“Mateo, you know who she is, right?” he asked, and Mateo looked confused. Javier always let Mateo sit with him when he video-chatted with Miki, since she was still one of his closest friends, but he hadn’t ever seen her in person since he was a baby. “It’s Miki, Papa’s friend.”

Miki took him when Yuzuru offered him to her and she hugged him. “Awwww, you’re so big! Gah, I miss babies,” she said, cuddling him close. “Mine is getting so grown up now.”

Javier and Miki’s friendship wasn’t as close as it had been for a while, but Javier still at least once a year managed to visit Miki and Himawari. Yuzuru always encouraged them to stay close since Himawari had been the first baby he helped raise for almost as long as he’d been Mateo’s father, and though some people still thought it was strange Yuzuru encouraged his husband spending time with an old lover, he knew that Javier needed the uncle-like relationship he had with Himawari and he also knew that Miki was no threat to his marriage. 

In fact, he had heard the good news. “I hear you’re getting married,” he said and she beamed. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you,” he gushed. 

She held up one of her hands to show off her ring and Yuzuru cooed over it. “He’s amazing,” she said with a happy sigh. “He wants to legally adopt Hima after we’re married, too.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “I’m so glad you stole my boyfriend,” she teased and he laughed. They had always loved joking about Javier since it was so far from a sore subject for any of them. “Imagine if I’d got stuck married to _that_ ,” she said, nodding a head at Javier and Yuzuru turned to see Javier was already harassing Shoma, who was so far from a little boy anymore yet still not free from Javier’s harassment. 

Yuzuru snorted and rolled his eyes. “Eh, he’s a good cook and put a baby in me, so I guess I’ll keep him around for a while,” he joked, making her snicker. 

She sighed. “God, after this little sweetie, I might have to get mine to put a baby in me, too,” she cooed, looking at Mateo’s shy little face as he hid his face in her neck. “I want a baby again, not a rambunctious wild animal like mine.” She gave him a serious look. “Enjoy this while it lasts.”

Yuzuru giggled. “Oh, I plan on it,” he said, brushing Mateo’s soft curls with his fingers. “I kind of want another one in a few years. I’m not sure how adoption will work legally with all our citizenship and residency things, but I think I knew when I was pregnant that one day I would want another one. Maybe a little girl next time,” he said with a sigh. “Adorable little dresses and bows!”

She hummed. “Why wait? Yours is going to be three soon. You won’t have to have two babies at once.”

He bit his lip and glanced at Shoma, then back at Miki. “Let’s just say this return to ice shows isn’t as random as it seems,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” she asked, and he shrugged sheepishly.

“The scoring changes open some doors for someone with a history of artistry even at an age where a lot of quads isn’t possible,” he said in a low voice. “Only one man has ever had three Olympic golds in a row before,” he added, and she whistled.

“Damn. You’re really going for it?” He nodded. “Well good luck. You’ll need it after so long out of the field.”

He sighed. “It’s not as hard coming back to skating as it is stepping back from being a stay-at-home father. I’ve been dying here without Mateo and it’s only been a week.”

Miki smiled and handed Mateo back and he beamed as he hugged him close again. “I guess I can’t steal your thunder then,” she said, and Mateo looked between them as they smiled at one another.

“You skate too?” he asked her, and she smiled at his Japanese.

“Oh I didn’t know spoke Japanese, too,” she said, poking his side to make him smile at her. “You’re a smart boy, huh?”

Yuzuru grinned. “And Spanish. He knows more than his Tousan does!” he said proudly.

Javier wandered over, dragging Shoma under his arm like he wasn’t even there, in spite of Shoma pouting good-naturedly at him, and beamed. “Hey, Miki,” he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek in greeting. “Already stealing my son?” he teased.

She wiggled her eyebrows. “He’s the most handsome guy in this building, of course I am,” she joked, then winked at Shoma. “Although this little sweetie has grown up to be such a handsome boy,” she cooed, reaching out to squish his cheek, even though they didn’t squish anymore. “I’m getting so old!”

Shoma blushed and bowed his head as best he could in Javier’s hold. “Hello, Miki-san.”

Yuzuru smiled at Shoma. “This is the real reason I had a baby, to replace my favorite little chubby-cheeked, puffy-haired boy when he grew up.”

Shoma rolled his eyes at him but smiled at Mateo. He had never met their son before even if he had seen photos of him. “He’s cute,” he said, and Mateo looked at him curiously.

“You’re little,” he said with a child’s bluntness, and Javier burst out laughing so hard he had to back away, nearly knocking Shoma over in his enthusiasm. Yuzuru giggled too, unable to help himself, even as he shook Mateo gently.

“Mateo, that’s so mean,” he chastised, though he was giggling the whole time so he doubted it was effective.

Shoma just glared at Mateo. “You have a lot of room to talk, you’re a baby,” he countered but Mateo didn’t seem to care.

“Papa say I will be really big when I am older,” he replied and Shoma looked offended.

“Why can he talk like this? He’s a baby, he should know like five words,” he complained and Yuzuru laughed.

“He’s about to be three years old, he’ll be going to preschool in the fall,” he said with a grin. “He’s not a baby-baby.” 

“He’s my big boy!” Javier said proudly, taking him from Yuzuru’s arms. “You are definitely my son,” he cheered, holding him up in the air with a big smile.

Shoma rolled his eyes. “I cannot believe you married someone so immature,” he said to Yuzuru, who just grinned.

“Admit it, you like him, even if he teases,” he said, then gave Javier a stern look. “He’s right though. You’re being a bad example for Mateo.”

Javier faux-whispered. “Shhh, Tousan is just being no fun, we can go tease somebody else,” he said and Mateo giggled at his father’s silliness as Javier put him down and held his hand, walking into the locker room to show off his son to everybody else. 

~

Javier wasn’t certain he and Yuzuru would leave the rink with their child at this point. He had never known their old friends were so baby-obsessed until he walked into the locker room with Mateo and instantly about five grown men squealed and rushed over to kneel down and look at the baby. Being the only dad there, Nobu was understandable, but Javier would never burn the mental image of Stephane Lambiel walking around bouncing his son on his hip while everybody else crowded around him to coo out of his brain. 

Mateo, to his surprise, seemed to love the attention. “I see you on TV,” he said, reaching out to touch Johnny’s face. “You talk about skating,” he said, and Johnny positively melted.

“Awwwww, you watch figure skating on TV with your dads?!” He dramatically leaned in to hug Mateo (getting Stephane in the mix since he was in the way) and squeaked. “I need a baby. Someone marry me and let’s adopt four of them,” he said to the room at large, earning laughs all around. “Yuzuru! Can I borrow your husband so he can get me pregnant?” he asked and Yuzuru laughed and rolled his eyes. 

“It might work,” Yuzuru joked. “He got me pregnant within the first week,” he said and Javier groaned. Yuzuru would never let him live down that most likely, Mateo was the result of Yuzuru’s very first time ever. 

“Only if he gets me pregnant first,” Stephane cooed, kissing Mateo’s little curls. “I want one,” he whined. “Why don’t I have one already? I knew when I started coaching and felt like they were my sons that I needed babies. I should go get one,” he decided. “I’m adopting one next week!” he joked.

Yuzuru sat down beside Javier, leaning into a hug. “They’re going to steal our child,” he joked and Javier smiled and kissed his forehead

“We can beat them up and get him back,” he said with a wink. 

Nobu sighed. “I want another baby now,” he said and Yuzuru laughed.

“Don’t you have enough already?” he asked and Javier snickered.

“What is it now, seven? Eight?”

Nobu rolled his eyes. “It’s just three.” He sighed. “The youngest one is only two but I want another already. Not sure how my wife would feel about it, though,” he added.

Javier looked at Mateo and smiled. “I want at least one more in the future,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded, patting his thigh.

“Me, too. I definitely want to adopt another child one day,” he agreed.

Nobu hummed. “Yours is already about to be Three. You don’t want to adopt one soon so they’re not too far apart?”

Yuzuru bit his lip and looked at Javier, who shrugged as if to say, ‘it’s up to you’. Yuzuru smiled. “I- um.” He laughed softly. “I’m actually coming out of retirement,” he said, and Javier could hear the hush of everybody stopping breathing for a moment falling over the room. 

“Wait, really?” Keiji asked, eyes wide. Keiji hadn’t retired yet but he had never gotten much better than he ever had been, even after the scoring changes, so his surprise was understandable. “I can already feel that I’m getting to the end of my knees holding me up and you’re going to come back at our age?”

Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “I wasn’t planning on it until a few months ago, really,” he confessed. “I was skating one day with Mateo during open ice hours and I decided to show off for him since he was bored with skating, and Brian was there with his niece and saw me skating part of an old routine for Mateo and when I did a triple axel and a quad toe without having done either in a few months he came up to me afterwards and asked if I ever thought about coming back after the scoring changes.” He shrugged. “It put the thought in my mind and I couldn’t really ignore it until I talked to Javi about it. When he said he’d support me if I wanted to, I decided to just get back into shape and give it a shot, and when it wasn’t that hard to get in good shape again, I told Brian I’d talk to the JSF and see what they said.” He nodded. “So I’ve been back in ice training for about a month now.”

Johnny hummed. “I tried coming out of retirement. Didn’t work well,” he said, and Yuzuru chuckled.

“If the scoring changes hadn’t happened, I’d be stupid to even consider it. If I had to throw six quads to be competitive at all, it would be out of the question,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “But Brian thinks I’ve got a good shot at being successful, and the only reason I retired before was because I was pregnant.” He shrugged. “It’s worth trying again now that my little baby doesn’t need me all day,” he said, looking at Mateo – who was still being passed around and fawned over – before clutching his hands to his chest. “My baby is growing up,” he said with a mock sniffle. 

Javier slid a hand around his waist and kissed the side of his head. “You’re going to do amazing, _Querido_ ,” he said firmly. He smirked at the others. “I’ve seen him in practice while I was at work. He’s just as beautiful on the ice as he was when he retired.”

“Eh, you’re just saying that because you married him and don’t want to get in trouble,” Shoma accused playfully.

Yuzuru snorted. “Sometimes I wish it was. Javier is annoying with how sappy he gets,” he said and Javier gasped in mock offense. “When I feel ugly and just want sympathy he starts going on about all the reasons I’m beautiful and I’m like ‘damn, I just wanted you to say ‘it sucks you’re ugly today’’,” he said with a teasing wink at Javier.

Javier scoffed jokingly and stood up. “Well fine, I’ll leave you for Johnny then,” he said, going to slide an arm around Johnny’s shoulders. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate my sappy fawning,” he joked and Johnny pretended to swoon.

“Oh, Papi, of course I would,” he said with an over the top flirtatious wink. “Feel free to tell me how beautiful I am any time you feel like it,” he prompted, earning laughter from all of them.

~

Yuzuru’s mother had arrived just after Javier and Mateo, but that night, Yuzuru wanted to keep Mateo with him. Javier didn’t even mind them sharing their bed with their little boy. Instead, he lay awake watching Yuzuru sleeping across from him with his arm around Mateo, who was drooling onto Yuzuru’s pillow adorably. Javier had never felt more love than he did when looking at his family. 

It reminded him whey they were doing this. It wasn’t easy to travel this much with a toddler or to take time off from work or for Yuzuru to be away from their son, but Javier wanted Yuzuru to fulfill his dreams of skating again. He wanted him to be able to do it without feeling guilty about missing out on time with Mateo. He didn’t want Yuzuru to think he was picking his career over his family and the best way to do that was to bring their family into this world together. 

Javier got an idea and reached over to the bedside table to snag his phone and take a photo of them asleep across from him. He smirked as he posted it to Instagram and then turned his phone off so the notifications didn’t make it hard to fall asleep.

~

Yuzuru groaned as he saw tons of messages from people and followed the clues to Javier’s Instagram. “Really?” he asked him. “A family who skates together naps together?” he asked, glaring at him. 

Javier smirked from where he stood, leaning out the bathroom door with a toothbrush in his hands. “What? You were too cute to not take a photo of.” 

Yuzuru gave him a flat look. “I hate people seeing my creepy eye when I sleep and Mateo is drooling,” he chastised. He cringed looking at the photo of how one of his eyes wasn’t all the way closed and the puddle of spit near his child’s mouth. 

Javier snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re both adorable when you sleep. Besides, your wedding ring is right there on the hand on our baby’s chest. I was feeling very cave man,” he admitted and Yuzuru scoffed. It was also so weird how Javier got about them being ‘his’ family. He wasn’t possessive, or anything bad, it was just always there under the surface, him being so proud of himself for marrying Yuzuru and having a baby with him. 

“You’re so lucky I love you,” Yuzuru said flatly before going to get Mateo up and start getting them ready for the day. 

~

His mother was going to meet them at the rink to pick Mateo up since she wanted to get some things done that morning to set up for keeping Mateo occupied, so for the first little bit of warmup, they were going to have to convince Mateo to sit rink side like a good boy while his fathers got started warming up with the others for group choreo practice to start not long after Mateo was picked up and left.

Naturally, Mateo was too curious to sit still, or too bored, and every time Javier and Yuzuru started to focus on warming up their skating, one of them would spot Mateo running up and down rows of seats near the edge of the ice and have to skate over to the side to call him back down. 

In the end, Yuzuru was starting to get really frustrated with Mateo when Nobu skated over to put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m too old to warm up too much or I’ll be too tired,” he said with a knowing smile. “You get warmed up, I’ll keep him occupied,” he offered, and Yuzuru was really grateful he was friends with someone else who had children. 

Javier was looking over at them when he skated away, looking worried, but Yuzuru just smiled and swatting at his arm as he skated past him. “I have no idea how Nobu-kun survives three children. Our one is a big enough handful,” he said and Javier saluted Nobunari before getting back to warming up with some of the others. 

They were late to start practice because when the choreographer arrived he got distracted by Mateo and Nobunari playing together and spent ten minutes cooing over Mateo until Yumi arrived to take him with her. 

Javier and Yuzuru gave him hugs and kisses before letting him go back to his grandmother. “Be sweet for Obaasan,” Javier instructed and Mateo smiled as he hugged his grandmother, who was holding him in her arms.

“Oh we’re just going to have the best time, Javi-chan, don’t you worry,” she said, rubbing Mateo’s little back lovingly. “I get my little one all to myself,” she said and Mateo seemed proud of himself for being someone his grandmother wanted to keep all to herself. 

Yuzuru laughed and leaned over to hug his mother really quickly. “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.” 

“And you need to get to work, young man,” she said plainly. “Leave this to me. I raised you, after all.” 

When they left, Yuzuru smiled at Javier and nodded as they went to go start learning the choreography.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated.
> 
> SO SORRY!
> 
> ENJOY A CHAPTER!!!

The first show with Javier went off without a hitch and Yuzuru was delighted to see his mother and son watching from the audience as Javier skated. He’d always wanted Mateo to see his father skate for real, not just on videos, and he wasn’t disappointed to see Mateo’s excited cheering when Javier finished. After the show had ended, Javier and Yuzuru came out ready to leave and Yuzuru laughed when he saw Stephane’s skater, Deniss, running up and down the hall with Mateo, playing. 

Stephane watched from the end of the hall and rolled his eyes when Yuzuru came over. “My big kid is keeping your little one entertained.”

Yuzuru snickered. “With that much energy, I’ve got my work cut out for me. He just skated the same show that has me exhausted and he’s still running around with my child.”

Stephane smirked. “Oh, trust me, this season is going to be excellent with you coming back to push him.” Yuzuru knew what he meant. After the scoring changes, Deniss started winning a lot of stuff. At Worlds just a few months ago, he beat _Shoma_ in the long and only got silver because of Shoma’s showing in the short. He was another skater whose artistry was always what carried them when Yuzuru was competing and once the quads became less important, he was allowed to shine. 

“How many skaters have come to you begging you to coach them after the scoring change?” Yuzuru asked and Stephane scoffed.

“Far too many for me to even consider. I have my two and then do choreography for a dozen others every off-season. I _cannot_ pull the crap your coach does with his army of skaters. He’s running a well-oiled machine in Canada. I’m the second-father of a pair of boys who need my every attention all day long.” He pushed his hair out of his face. “It’s not about a legacy, you know? It’s about my boys needing me.”

Yuzuru smiled. “Awww. So sweet.” He laughed. “You sound like a parent. I think I was so scared of returning to competition because my ‘boys’ need me, too.” He shook his head. “Mateo does _not_ like his Tousan not being there all the time. He’s getting better, but he still is used to my every attention being on him. And Javier’s amazing, but he’s used to having my help. Him being stuck on his own with Mateo is a learning curve.” He shook his head. “God knows I couldn’t do it all alone. A toddler is a lot to handle.” He smiled. “Super Javi, the super dad,” he joked, thinking of Javier’s most famous exhibition skate. 

Stephane laughed out loud, head tossed back. “Oh I wish he was doing that one for the show. That was always so fun.”

Yuzuru wiggled his eyebrows. “Imagine how it was for me to see him in that outfit.”

“This is why you have a baby,” Stephane teased and Yuzuru giggled into his hands. 

“Hey, I married him, I am allowed to find him sexy,” he boasted. “Pretty sure it is key in a happy marriage.”

Stephane smirked. “Oh he’s sexy alright,” he said and Yuzuru elbowed him playfully.

“Find a man of your own,” he teased, then went to go interrupted Deniss and Mateo’s fun. “Mateo,” he said and Mateo stopped and looked back just as Deniss caught up with him. “We need to go. Obaasan is waiting with Papa,” he said, and Mateo whined.

“But Tousan, Den Den is FUN!” he said and Yuzuru rolled his eyes at Deniss.

“What? He can’t say my name,” he said, scooping Mateo up and spinning him around, making him squeal shrilly, giggling the whole time. Deniss sighed, pouting as he put Mateo on his hip. “I guess you need to go back to your dad now. It is getting late.”

Mateo pouted. “Five more minutes, Tousan?” he asked and Yuzuru couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay, just five more, though,” he said, and Mateo immediately clapped and cheered, then wiggled out of Deniss’s hold to run away from him, forcing the man to run after him again. Yuzuru looked back at Stephane, who smacked a hand over his eyes. “He’s twenty-one years old and is having more fun with my toddler than any of the other adults,” he said and Stephane grimaced.

“He’s very sheltered,” he said, and Yuzuru snickered at how much of a dad Stephane sounded like. 

~

“And then Den Den helped me get the tiny man to play!” Mateo said excitedly to his grandmother, once again standing up in his seat.

Yuzuru reached over and gently tugged Mateo back down to sit. “We’re in public, Mateo, calm down,” he urged. 

Javier looked at Yuzuru hopefully. “Please tell me the ‘tiny man’ is Shoma,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded, which made Javier positively cackle. “I love my child,” he sighed. 

“Who’s the boy Mateo was playing with?” Yumi asked and Yuzuru snorted.

“A twenty-one-year-old figure skater,” he said flatly. “Deniss is actually one of my main rivals in the coming season. He got silver at Worlds. ‘Tiny Man’ is also a main rival. Shoma’s twenty-three so he’s even older than Deniss, and yet, playing chase with a toddler is their idea of post-show fun.”

Javier grinned. “Hey, when we were that young, we went out drinking. Their coaches are probably grateful.”

Yuzuru made a face. “ _You_ went out drinking. I went to my hotel room and did homework and ate dinner with my mother.”

Yumi smirked. “Probably would’ve been better for you to go out and have fun occasionally. Look what happened when you finally did something outside of school or skating; you got pregnant,” she said and he rolled his eyes and laughed. 

“Mom, please. I had fun pre-parenting days.” He smiled and looked at Mateo, who was playing with his food more than eating it. “I just have more fun being an adult.”

“I’d imagine so with such a handsome husband waiting at home,” she teased and Yuzuru flushed bright red.

“MOM!” he squeaked, putting his palms to his cheeks. “Oh my God, all these years talking to Javier has turned your brain to dirty things! You’re my mother, don’t make jokes like that!”

Javier grinned and put an arm around his shoulders. “Come on, _Querido_ , she’s not a prude just because she’s a mom. She’s got two kids, after all,” he said with an exaggerated wiggle of his eyebrows. 

Yuzuru made a face. “Why do I like you?” he asked, and Javier just faked clutching his heart and collapsing at the pain. 

“Tousan, you gotta like Papa, don’t be mean,” Mateo offered absently without even looking up from where he had speared a piece of bread on a chopstick and was waving it like a flag. Yumi tutted and took it away from him and Yuzuru sighed, putting a hand to his forehead.

“These Fernandez men. They drive me crazy,” he said to his mother, shaking his head solemnly. 

~

“NO!” Mateo cried, stomping his feet as he wailed. “I WANT TOUSAN!”

Yumi tutted. “Hey, don’t be bad, you’re my good boy,” she soothed, rubbing his hair only to have him jerk his head away. She gave him a sterner look. “Mateo Hanyu-Fernandez, you do not jerk away from your Obaasan,” she said firmly. 

“I DON’T WANNA!” he screeched, and several people’s heads ducked out of the dressing rooms to see the toddler throwing a tantrum in the hallway.

“I know you don’t, but you have to,” she said and he screeched again. She sighed and looked skyward. “Mateo. If you don’t stop, I’ll take you back to the hotel and we won’t watch Papa and Tousan skate tonight,” she threatened and he just burst into tears and slumped to the floor, fully and completely pitching a fit. She looked down at him, hands on her hips, and then nodded. “Alright, let’s go-“

“NO!” he wailed, refusing to take her hand as she reached for him. When she picked him up to put him on his feet, he went limp and fell onto the floor again. 

“Mateo,” she said sharply, and she heard a heavy sigh from behind her. She turned and saw Yuzuru coming down the hall, no shoes on his feet and his costume unzipped in the back. 

“What on earth are you doing, Mateo?” he demanded, and as he walked over, Mateo held his arms up.

“Tousan! I want Tousan!” he pleaded, and Yumi saw Yuzuru having to fight back the urge to give into his big, teary eyes. She was actually pretty proud of her son for being able to be strong. She had always suspected he would be a pushover as a parent who spoiled his child, but he was actually really good at not giving into the urge to cuddle your child and do whatever you must to make them happy. She knew that temptation as well. Her own kids had those big pouts as children when they wanted something and it was hard to not give in. 

Mateo was even harder to say no to than Yuzuru and Saya had been. 

“Mateo, you are being so mean for your Obaasan right now,” he said sternly, hands on his hips. 

Yumi hummed. “We’re going back to the hotel,” she said and Yuzuru looked surprised. “Someone is being bad and I told him if he wouldn’t be good, we’re not watching Papa and Tousan skate.”

Yuzuru tutted, looking down at Mateo. “Well someone sure has been a bad boy, huh?” he asked. He crouched down and Mateo gave him wide, pitiful eyes. “Mateo, you know better,” he said, reaching out to brush his hair out of his face. “Why are you being bad?”

“I want Tousan,” he whimpered, and Yumi’s heart ached at how pitiful he looked. She couldn’t stand it, but she knew it had to be worse for Yuzuru. She waited to see how Yuzuru would react, but she was very proud to see him sigh and stand up.

“I love you more than anything in this world, Mateo, but you have to learn to listen like a good boy,” he said, then looked at Yumi, who smiled gently at the sadness in his eyes. “We’ll be back later,” he said then turned and walked away.

Yumi saw the stunned look on Mateo’s face, like he couldn’t believe his father hadn’t just folded to his every whim, and she chuckled and leaned down to scoop him up. “Come on,” she said, hitching him onto her hip as she started down the hall. “Time to go.”

Mateo cried, but he seemed to have worn himself out from his wailing and kicking, so he just lay his head on her shoulder and cried limply. She rubbed his little back to soothe him, because though he was being bad, she knew he was still just adjusting. As a mother and now a grandmother, she knew very well that he was still enough of a baby to not be able to not show out when he got upset, but giving into what he wanted wouldn’t help him grow, it would only make him throw tantrums when he was too old to throw them. 

~

After their last show together, Javier found he didn’t really want to go. He wasn’t sure Mateo was the one who was going to cry when they left Yuzuru and went home. Though they had been apart at the beginning of the ice show, something about being the one to leave Yuzuru just felt wrong. Their family didn’t feel as complete when they were half a world away from one another.

Yuzuru eyed him curiously as he kept his hand on Yuzuru’s leg during the farewell dinner. “What’s wrong?” he asked, laying his hand on top of Javier’s, slotting his fingers between Javi’s. 

Javier smiled tightly and just leaned in to kiss Yuzuru’s temple. “Nothing, Querido.” He didn’t want to bring down the mood. “Don’t worry about me.”

Yuzuru smiled sweetly. “I always worry about you, silly. You are my husband.”

That night, when they got their hotel room all to themselves since Mateo didn’t want to leave his Obaasan, they made love slowly, luxuriating in each other. 

Yuzuru kissed Javier deeply, tongue moving in time with his shifting, rocking movements from where he sat atop Javier. “Mmmmm. Jabi.” He sighed against his mouth, hands tangled in Javier’s hair. “Love you,” he groaned, whining when Javier’s hands tightened on his hips. “Always love you.”

Javier curled his arms around Yuzuru’s back, sitting up to hold him close as Yuzuru rode him, taking him deep with each move. “Yuzuru,” he moaned, arms tight around him, face pressed into Yuzuru’s neck. “Dios, Querido,” he panted, and Yuzuru moaned as Javier kissed his throat. “I’m going to miss you,” Javier grunted as he rocked into each thrust, using his tight hold on Yuzuru’s body to pull him down with each shift of his hips. “So, so much.”

Yuzuru looked down into Javier’s eyes, one hand in his curls, the other going to Javier’s face, holding it so he could look at him. “I will miss you, too,” he panted, whimpering in both pleasure and at the prickling sensation in his eyes when he thought about his husband leaving. “I love you,” he panted, kissing Javier hard and sloppy, both of them too exhausted from long, slow sex for any finesse. “Mine. My Javi,” he gritted out, tugging his hair back hard as he pressed their foreheads together. “My husband.”

“Always, Querido, always,” Javier panted, grabbing handfuls of Yuzuru’s ass as he tugged his hips harder. “Mierda, you feel so good. I’m gonna come, Yuzuru,” he panted, looking up at him with glassy eyes. “What do you need?” he panted.

Yuzuru kissed his forehead and his eyebrow and the wrinkles around his eye as he rocked harder and faster, trying to help Javier come. “Just do it inside. Now,” he commanded, and Javier moaned. “Need you to come inside, Javi. You are mine and I want- AH!” Yuzuru cried in surprise when Javier bit his neck, groaning as he pumped into Yuzuru hard and fast before stilling and coming. Yuzuru panted, moaning as he felt the heat of Javier spilling inside of him. He moaned, rolling his hips until Javier stopped him with hands on hips. “Mmmm, Javi,” he moaned, whining reluctantly when Javier lifted him up to slip out of him. He shuddered at feeling so empty. “I want- I want you-“

“I know what you want,” Javier rasped hoarsely, and Yuzuru found three thick, broad fingers shoved in his empty hole, the other hand wrapping around his length.

“Ooohh, yes,” Yuzuru moaned, kissing Javier hungrily as Javier quickly brought him to orgasm, making him gasp and whine against his mouth. He collapsed against Javier, who wrapped him in his arms and fell back onto the bed, bringing Yuzuru with him.

They lay together, panting, for a long time, bodies exhausted from skating and from sex. Javier rubbed at Yuzuru’s side and Yuzuru hummed, rubbing his cheek on Javier’s chest. “I love your possessiveness,” Javier teased softly and Yuzuru giggled, blushing some. 

“I am not possessive. Not much.”

Javier smirked and raised the pitch of his voice, teasingly copying Yuzuru’s accent and said, “My Javi, mine-“ 

“I do not sound like that!” Yuzuru complained, putting a hand on Javier’s mouth with a pout. “Mean,” he said and Javier kissed his fingers and pulled his hand away. 

“I enjoy knowing you still feel the need to be possessive after all these years,” he said fondly.

Yuzuru grinned. “You are very sexy, Javi. The mothers of those kids you coach all want you,” he said with a joking growl, wrapping a leg around Javier playfully. “So handsome and good with babies.”

“And old and soft,” Javier sighed and Yuzuru pouted, putting a hand on Javier’s flat stomach.

“Maybe not ridiculously muscled, but far from not sexy,” he said. He looked at his face. “And so, so handsome.” Yuzuru sighed and touched Javier’s face. “You are still the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” he murmured under his breath more than anything.

Javier smiled, making the lines around his eyes crinkle. “And I still can’t believe you see that when you look at me. I am the luckiest man alive to have you.”

Yuzuru sighed, pressing their foreheads together. “I am sad you and Mateo are leaving. I will miss you both so much,” he whispered. “And since the JSF is going to announce I’m coming out of retirement, things will get a lot harder at home. I’m going to have to devote so much more time to training now.”

Javier nodded, smiling sadly. “It’s going to be great, though,” he said, touching Yuzuru’s cheek. “You’re going to be amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t do any of this without you,” Yuzuru confessed, looking into his husband’s eyes. “I never could, really,” he added with a small chuckle.

Javier grinned. “Nah you like to think that, but you never needed me.” He kissed his forehead as he rolled them both over, curling around Yuzuru comfortably. “You always had me as your biggest fan, but you never _needed_ me.”

Yuzuru giggled softly, snuggling back into the curve of Javier’s body. “You think what you want, Javi.”

Falling asleep in his husband’s arms, all Yuzuru could think was that after this next week, their lives would change once again and he didn’t know what to think but didn’t fear it nearly as much as long as Javier was with him. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I somehow only JUST realized I suck at math. Mateo should be almost 3, not almost 4. I won't change it since it's an established thing and I know it's stupid and v wrong, but JUST PRETEND TIME WORKS THAT WAY I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their time apart begins again

When the JSF held a press conference to discuss their skaters for the upcoming season, everybody already had guessed what was coming. Javier watched from home, at one in the morning, on a livestream as the announcement came down the pipe and Yuzuru was paraded out in front of the cameras to take photos with the rest of Team Japan. It had been a long time since Yuzuru was in a Team Japan uniform, and Javier felt a familiar wave of nostalgia for all those times they fought against one another. 

However, he felt far warmer in his heart when he realized this time, he got to be one hundred percent on Yuzuru’s side, behind him in this journey without any part of him wishing for anything but Yuzuru’s complete success. After the press conference, Javier went to bed, knowing he had to get up in a few hours to wake up Mateo and get to work, but the whole time, he just imagined the fear that would ripple throughout the skating world at the news that Yuzuru Hanyu, the best skater in the history of the sport, was coming back for another shot at medal contention. 

He was very, very glad that he wasn’t a skater right now. 

~

Yuzuru felt weird traveling with bodyguards again. He hadn’t needed them for a while now. Occasionally, only when at the airport in Japan, the security team would sneak them through the crowds. This time, however, it felt like his last Olympic Games all over again: bodyguards on all sides, leading him through a path barricaded off from the media and fans as they headed through the airport to the waiting car. He had been back and forth between cities in Japan doing press things all week, and finally, he had an interview that would air in an upcoming mini-documentary about him to be featured on television.

When he arrived, he felt strange. In the past he had always traveled with either his mother or his coach, but for now he was on his own. 

“So, Yuzuru,” the interviewer asked, looking up at him from her cards. “You’re returning after three years of retirement. What made you decide to do that?”

Yuzuru smiled. “My coach, actually,” he said seriously. “My husband works with our former coach so I still see him often. He spotted me doing a quad toe and a triple axel just for fun one day and approached me about how, after the scoring changes, I could be very successful. I brushed it off at the time, but after thinking about it, I couldn’t help but think that I could do this. I could come back to the sport.”

“What motivated you to do this? Surely it’s been long enough since you competed that you didn’t need this,” she said and he smiled, twisting his ring on his finger.

“I wanted it for me,” he said simply. “I didn’t retire entirely on my own terms. I was pregnant so I had to retire. I had to give up the sport for my son, and I don’t ever regret that, but this way, I can give it one more shot.” He beamed. “And this time my son can see his Tousan skating himself instead of being inside my tummy during my final competitions.”

“You have been very open about going through male pregnancy from the start,” she began. “Most still consider it something to be ashamed of, especially in Japanese culture, and yet you were unmarried at the time you became pregnant and you have never shied away from being open about your experiences.”

Yuzuru bit his lip, putting a hand to his chest. “I was never ashamed of being gay, no matter what our culture says, and male pregnancy can never be planned, so I was only embarrassed that I didn’t practice safe sex and everybody knew about it. But I was never ashamed. My husband is the only man I’ve ever been with, and I have loved him far longer than I like to admit,” he said with a small chuckle. “Before our son was born, he was my entire heart. It shouldn’t be shocking or shameful that people in love have sex,” he said with a laugh. “I knew all along that Javier loves children and would be an amazing father. I wasn’t wrong about that.” 

“What did having a child do to change your perspectives on life?” she asked.

He beamed, his throat tightening. “Our son is just-“ His breath hitched and he shook his head. “Mateo is everything,” he choked out. “He’s the most important part of my existence. I would have never chosen skating over him. The day I learned I was pregnant, I wanted him more than anything,” he said, giggling wetly as tears filled his eyes. “Being a father is the most amazing thing I have ever done. None of my gold medals mean anything close to how much it means to me every time my baby smiles at me.” He laughed wetly, wiping his eyes as tears fell. “He and my husband went home three days ago and I miss him so much. My only hesitation in all of this was that, losing time with my son.”

“What’s it like having to choose to give up being a stay at home parent to compete again?” she asked, giving him a warm smile. “You’re very emotional just talking about your son, so leaving home has to be difficult.”

Yuzuru sniffled, embarrassed he was still crying. “It’s hard. It has been hard on our family. Mateo is too young to understand why what he was used to every day of his life has changed, but I think he understands that skating makes me happy and he wants me to be happy.” He laughed wetly. “My baby is grown up enough to love me enough to want me to be happy,” he said, rubbing at his eyes. “Oh, I had no idea I would cry like this, I’m sorry,” he said, laughing. 

“Does your husband support this move? Changing your family dynamic has to be a big decision for both of you.”

Yuzuru beamed. “Javier Fernandez has been my biggest fan since I was a little seventeen-year-old boy who couldn’t speak English that showed up to train with his coach,” he said with a soft laugh. “Long before we fell in love, he cheered me on always. My husband supported me through getting into shape again and ice training and early mornings and having to find alternate childcare options. He has supported me in every way as long as I have known him.” He giggled. “I chose well when I married him.”

“The real question, the one everybody is asking,” she began a bit dramatically. “Do you think your comeback will be successful? If you come back and can’t keep up, will you stick through the whole season? Will you regret making it so that instead of an Olympic Gold final competition, you have a mediocre comeback as the end to your career?”

Yuzuru had thought about this for a long time. “If I didn’t think I could be competitive, I wouldn’t have come back,” he said in a measured tone. “I don’t think I will just comeback and win everything. I will have to fight, and that might take all season. If that is the case, then I will fight for every point all year.” He nodded. “But I will have a shot. And I would regret more if I don’t try after my coach gave me the idea,” he said decisively. “I owe it to myself to try and I owe it to my family to do my best since we committed to this.”

She smiled. “One last thing everybody has been dying to know: Will your Pooh tissue box be making a return to competition with you?”

Yuzuru laughed, shaking his head as he pursed his lips in a playful smile. “Pooh-san, my dear friend who helped me through many battles, lives in my son’s bedroom. Since before Mateo was born, Pooh-san was given the new job of watching over him. If I can’t be home with my little boy, I need to know Pooh-san is keeping the monsters from under the bed away from Mateo,” he said with a serious nod. “Pooh-san fought many battles with me and now he protects my little one for me.”

~

When Yuzuru finished his first photoshoot for advertising before the season started, he looked at the woman getting him out of the wardrobe and makeup they put him in and giggled. “My husband used to say I looked like a stay at home soccer dad in these types of photoshoots years ago. Funny how now I have been a stay at home parent and they start putting me the same type of outfits,” he said, and she smiled politely. He let the conversation lapse, not wanting to draw it out and make the woman uncomfortable.

He missed traveling with his mother. She always gave him someone to talk to during his never-ending photoshoots. He wasn’t used to living the figure skater life as a real adult. He had retired and his mother moved home while he moved in with his then-boyfriend and that had been that. He was traveling alone and spending all his time with nobody but people he was working with around him. 

He also really, really missed his son. 

When they took a half-hour break for the lighting techs to reset the photoshoot area, Yuzuru went to a corner and sat down with his back against the wall, pulling up the contact to video chat with Javi. When the call connected, Javier answered with a smile. “Querido!” he said, blowing a kiss. “How are you? Tired yet?”

Yuzuru groaned. “My face is melting from all the makeup and lights,” he said, only to frown when he heard a loud noise. “What’s going on?” he asked, and Javier turned around and then chuckled.

“Your child has decided he wants to be an opera singer,” he said and Yuzuru raised an eyebrow when he realized the noise was their son shouting incoherently.

“He _what_?”

Javier nodded. “I haven’t had a hard drink in years, but after two days of this, I’m ready to go find a liquor store,” he informed him. “I tried to ask him to sing something else, but he looked at me and goes ‘I’m not a good singer?’ with this look like I had just shattered his dreams, so I just told him he’s a great singer and let him go back to it.”

Yuzuru cooed. “Awww. That’s so cute. You’re such a pushover,” he teased, grinning. “Just distract him as best you can.”

Javier smirked. “Mateo! Come talk to Tousan,” he called, and Yuzuru giggled. He figured that was a great way to distract him. 

Yuzuru heard a dramatic little gasp and the sound of feet running through their apartment. “TOUSAN!” he cried, nearly running into the phone Javier was holding out to him. He smiled really big and Yuzuru’s heart melted. “Tousan, did you hear me singing?!” he asked excitedly, grabbing the phone. Yuzuru watched the movement as Mateo jumped around, flashes of Javier in the background every few revolutions. “I’m gonna sing forever!”

“That’s great!” Yuzuru said encouragingly. “Just don’t sing all night, you need to sleep and Papa does too,” he chastised. “How have you been? Is Effie mad at you for leaving her with Mrs. Stilinski still?”

Mateo pouted with a grumpy little look. “She peed on my police car shoes,” he said and Yuzuru snickered. Mateo insisted light-up sneakers for kids were ‘police car’ shoes. 

“She did?” he gasped dramatically. “Oh no. Did Papa wash them?”

Mateo nodded. “Yeah, they’re outside on the railing to dry.” He brightened up. “Oh!” He said, then ran, the phone bouncing, through the house. “Papa, you gotta see what Papa got me!” He skidded on the hardwood floor of the hall and Yuzuru’s heart lurched.

“Be careful!” he chastised, shaking his head at how fearless his child was. 

Mateo dropped the phone on his bed – Yuzuru could still see the stain on the wall from the grape juice that wouldn’t clean off entirely – and then came back a few moments later and clambered up onto the bed. “Tousan, look!” He held up a tiny black boot and Yuzuru’s eyes softened. “My own skates, Tousan! And it’s got flags on it!” he said, showing Yuzuru how the heel had a little Spanish flag on it. He then turned it and Yuzuru smiled when he saw the other side had a Japanese flag.

“Wow, your own skates like Papa and Tousan,” he said, and Mateo beamed. 

“Papa says that I can start learning how to do cool stuff like you do, Tousan,” he said with a proud little smile. “He’s gonna teach me how!”

Yuzuru put a hand to his chest, imagining Javier teaching their little baby to skate. “You and Papa are going to kill me one day, Mateo. You’re too cute for my heart to take it!”

Mateo giggled. “Tousan,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You are silly.”

“My Fernandez men. Slowly breaking my heart with cuteness.” Yuzuru pretended to slump to the side and faint. “I can’t take it, Mateo!”

Mateo’s little tinkling laughs were the most beautiful sound Yuzuru had ever heard. He only stopped pretending when he heard, “Oh no, you killed your Tousan!” from Javier. He sat up again and saw Javier had crawled into the little toddler bed behind Mateo, pulling him into his lap. “Mateo showed you his new skates, huh?”

Yuzuru beamed. “You will have him doing your salchow before I even make it home again,” he joked and Javier wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

“May have to be careful, Yuzuru. This one might steal the season.” He kissed Mateo’s head and Yuzuru ached to be there with his family. 

“I miss you both,” Yuzuru said softly. “I’ll be home soon,” he said and Mateo pouted.

“When is soon?” He looked hopeful. “Tomorrow?”

Yuzuru’s stomach clenched and he shook his head. “No, not tomorrow.” Mateo deflated and Yuzuru quickly added, “Only a few more day.” 

“Hanyu-san.” Yuzuru looked up and saw a woman waiting. “We are ready for you.”

Yuzuru’s heart sank and he looked back at his phone. “I have to go now, Mateo,” he said and Mateo looked upset.

“But we only talk a little bit,” he said, and Yuzuru’s heart _shattered_ when he saw his eyes filling with tears. “I don’t want you to go, Tousan,” he said in a tiny voice.

“I know, Baby, but I have to,” he said weakly. “I promise, I’ll talk to you again tomorrow. And I’ll be home in a few days.” 

Mateo nodded, and it was crushing to see him trying to be brave as he rubbed his tiny fists against his eyes as he tried not to cry. Javier hugged him and kissed his head. “Don’t worry, Mateo. We’ll have so much fun skating tomorrow you won’t even notice Tousan isn’t home.”

“I love you both,” Yuzuru said softly. “I love you so much, Mateo. I promise, I’ll be home soon.” He blew two kisses at the screen. “Love you, Javi,” he said, and Javier smiled sadly.

“We love you, _Querido_ ,” he said, blowing him a kiss before shaking Mateo gently. “Say ‘bye bye’,” he said and Mateo waved weakly.

“Bye bye, Tousan,” he said, and Javier murmured another small ‘bye’ before ending the call. 

Yuzuru took a few deep breaths and wiped at his eyes before standing up, putting his phone in his pocket to follow the woman who had come to collect him. He smiled and let her direct him to have his makeup fixed and pretended like he didn’t feel a hole in his chest. He knew he was doing this for himself and that was okay, but it was hard to not feel like a bad father in that moment.

He really missed his son.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and super feelsy.
> 
> REMEMBER THAT YOU LOVE MEEEEEE!!!!!

“I’m sorry, but if you want this sponsorship – and you really do – we need you for another week.” Yuzuru’s heart sank as he looked at the contract. He looked up and met the man’s eyes.

“My son’s birthday is in three days,” he said tightly.

He smiled sadly but shook his head. “I’m sorry, Hanyu-san. There’s nothing to be done.”

Yuzuru closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to mentally decide if he _really_ needed the sponsorship money that badly, but the truth of the matter was that he really did. His savings had been drained with his training so far. The only way he could continue to train was with an income, and without sponsors with this much money in the contract, there was no way he could keep going without his and Javier’s finances dipping dangerously low for their bills and childcare. 

He knew he was making the wrong choice for his heart but the right choice for his career when he opened his eyes and nodded. “Okay,” he whispered, his heart breaking with the words. 

~

Javier was in shock when Yuzuru finished speaking. “You- you what?”

Yuzuru looked down on the other end of the video call and nodded, his throat visibly bobbing. “They added a week. I’m- I’m shooting a commercial.”

Javier shook his head. “Mateo’s birthday is the day after tomorrow, Yuzuru. You were supposed to be getting on a flight _tonight_.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Yuzuru asked, looking up with tears in his eyes. “We need the money, Javi. We can’t afford my training without this sponsor. It’s the main one-“

“Your _son_ is turning _three_ ,” he stressed. “Yuzuru, that’s- it’s just-“ He gritted his teeth. “Do not do this,” he said firmly. “I’ll pay for your training, just don’t do this to him-“

“I don’t want to do this to him, but you can’t pay for my training! You make enough to pay for our living, you pay for our bills and our child and our groceries, and you make plenty for that, but you know as well as anybody how much I need to keep training,” Yuzuru stressed. “Javi, I know,” he said, voice straining. “I know it’s going to upset him, but I need this. This can’t wait. I already haven’t paid Brian. He let me hold off on paying him until after I got new sponsorships, and this commercial is a _lot_ more money. I can pay him up entirely for the whole season on this.”

Javier stared at Yuzuru and, in that moment, he had never been angrier at him than he was right now. “I know you need the sponsorship, and I know you think you have to, but you’re Yuzuru Hanyu. There are other sponsors-“

“I’ve already spent two weeks with this contract, if I back out now, I have to pay them back for them paying for my travel expenses and I don’t get the money!” Yuzuru argued. “The contract was for how long they needed me, not a specified time. They told me they needed two weeks, but they decided they need three.”

Javier rubbed a hand over his face. “ _Mierda_ ,” he cursed, because that definitely was not a contract Yuzuru should have signed. He suddenly got the idea of exactly why Yuzuru’s mother stayed involved even after he reached the age of adulthood. It was hard to remember sometimes that his husband, though a father, wasn’t exactly a ‘real adult’ in a lot of ways after a lifetime of being coddled by coaches and trainers and his parents. “Yuzuru…” He clenched his jaw and looked at the screen again. “You’re telling him.”

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “Javi, you know I can’t-“

“Oh no, I’m not going to be the bad guy here-“

“He’s going to be so disappointed, Javi, you know I can’t handle-“

Javier’s throat tightened, already knowing what he was going to have to deal with, and he interrupted Yuzuru with ice in his voice. “Mateo isn’t going to be disappointed, Yuzuru, you’re going to break his heart.”

He said nothing more to Yuzuru before he went to find Mateo. When he found him sitting on his bed, coloring the hand-made birthday party invitations he wanted to give to some of the kids at his daycare and to their neighbor and to Brian and Tracy, looking so content that for a split second, for the first time in his entire life, Javier hated Yuzuru Hanyu for what he was about to do to their son when he handed him the phone to talk to his Tousan and watched him fall apart. 

~

Yuzuru had never hated himself more than when Mateo showed him an invitation he had colored for their neighbor, the old lady who helped them out sometimes with Effie or with Mateo, and excitedly told him about all the people who were coming to his birthday party. 

“We can give them to people together, Tousan” he said with a big, bright smile that looked just like Javier’s, with only his eyes squishing nearly shut with such a big smile making him look like Yuzuru.

Yuzuru bit back tears before he even spoke. “About that,” he said, and Mateo looked confused “Mateo,” he whispered, swallowing hard. “Mateo, Tousan has to stay in Japan longer than expected.”

Mateo pouted. “So you won’t be back until my birthday?” he asked, and Yuzuru’s chest tightened painfully. 

“I won’t be back until after your birthday, Baby,” he confessed, and he saw Mateo’s little face contort as he tried to understand. 

“But… if you don’t come back until after, how will you come to my party?” he asked, and Yuzuru barely held in a sob.

“I won’t be at your party, Mateo. I’ll be home on Tuesday and your party is on Saturday, the same day as your birthday,” he explained.

Mateo’s eyes widened, and then Yuzuru’s insides turned to acid as Mateo’s eyes filled with tears and his face crumpled. “But- but why?” he cried, his little shoulders heaving as he cried. “You promised!”

Yuzuru sniffled. “I know, Mateo, I know. I can’t though. I have to work,” he explained quickly. “I’ll bring you a really cool present, though! Something awesome from Japan-“

“But you promised!” Mateo sobbed, big crocodile tears streaking his little red cheeks. “I don’t want toys, I want Tousan,” he whimpered in the most heartbroken little voice Yuzuru had ever heard.

“I know,” he squeaked. “I know, Mateo. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-“

“No!” Mateo shouted, shoving the phone away. Yuzuru could only see the ceiling and he heard Mateo crying harder than he’d cried since he was a baby. It was worse than any tantrum he’d ever throw. He heard Javier’s voice and soft tones and Mateo crying. “Want Tousan!” he screeched, wailing impossibly harder. “I want Tousan!”

“I’m sorry, Mateo, but you have Papa right now, not Tousan,” Javier said in a soothing voice, a little louder. “I’m so sorry, _Mijo_. Shhhhh, I’ve got you. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”

“But I want Tousan,” Mateo cried and Yuzuru couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t watch the ceiling and listen to his baby’s heart breaking any more. 

He hung up the call and then fell back across his own hotel bed, crying just as hard as Mateo had.

~

Every time Yuzuru tried to call Javier for the rest of his trip, he didn’t answer. He understood why, but it still hurt. 

It was the longest Yuzuru had gone since they got married without speaking to Javier and the longest since his child was born that he hadn’t seen his son’s face. 

On Mateo’s birthday, he logged into Javier’s Instagram (he knew all of Javier’s passwords) and recorded a video telling Mateo happy birthday and how much he loved his big boy and posted it so that Javier would have to watch it and show it to Mateo, even if neither of them wanted to talk to him. 

He was filming the day he realized that, back home, it was Mateo’s birthday, and he would be waking up soon to Javi singing him Happy Birthday in Spanish the way he always did for Yuzuru. He would be so excited for his birthday party.

He would also be heartbroken that his Tousan was halfway around the world on his ‘big boy’ birthday.

Yuzuru didn’t want to get the reputation for being a diva athlete during photoshoots, but he couldn’t stop crying every time he thought about how he was here, advertising _dish soap_ , instead of at home with his baby on his birthday. He had carried Mateo for nine months inside of him, he had gone through a full day of painful labor without any medication, and he had spent every day with his son for his whole life before the summer ice shows. He gave up everything he knew in his life for Mateo, because he loved his son more than he had ever known was possible in his twenty-three years on earth before his child’s birth. 

And instead of celebrating his birthday with him, he was filming a commercial to sell _dish soap_.

Yuzuru cried between every single take, because he had never hated himself more than he did right now. Breaking his baby’s heart was the worst thing he had ever done in his entire life. 

~

When Yuzuru got home, it was two in the morning. He left his bags by the door with his shoes and jacket and immediately crept down the hall to his baby’s room. He didn’t even bother changing out of the clothes he’d been in for hours, he just crawled into the tiny toddler bed beside his little boy and curled his arms around him. He looked down at Mateo’s sleeping little face and he felt tears filling his eyes. 

“I missed you so much,” he whispered against Mateo’s curls, careful not to wake him as he wrapped his body around his child, lap cradling his little legs, arms cradling his tiny body, chest pressed firmly against his son’s narrow shoulders. Mateo mumbled softly and rolled over in his sleep, fisting his little hand in Yuzuru’s shirt as he snuggled into the warmth beside him, and Yuzuru fought to keep his tears silent and not shake as he cradled his little boy in his arms the way he had when he was three hours old, not three years.

“I love you. I love you more than the rest of the world combined,” he breathed, barely more than mouthing the words. “Since the moment I heard your heartbeat, my every heartbeat has been for you.” He looked at his baby’s tiny hands on his chest and felt as if that little hand was closed around the heart beneath it. When he lifted his head to lay his cheek on Mateo’s head, his eyes fell on Pooh-san in his usual place but with a little party hat stuck on his head with the little elastic wrapped around his fat face. It felt like Pooh-san was judging him. Yuzuru’s stomach churned with guilt at the reminder that he had missed his baby’s first ‘real’ birthday party. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can never put into words how sorry I am,” he whispered, kissing Mateo’s hair repeatedly. “I’m a terrible father,” he sighed, tears streaking his face and dampening his son’s beautiful curls. 

“You’re not.” Yuzuru started slightly, looking towards the foot of the bed to see Javier standing in the doorway, looking like he had been waiting up for Yuzuru since he had on his glasses and his movements lacked drowsiness. Yuzuru shook his head, more tears falling, and Javier sighed and walked across the room. He sat down on the floor opposite Mateo looking at the both of them as he tugged the little Eeyore bean bag made for toddler-sized butts over to lean against the wall behind him, leaning back against it as he reached up onto the bed and grabbed Yuzuru’s hand. He squeezed it and looked at Yuzuru with an impossible to read expression. “Go to sleep, _Querido_ ,” he whispered, and Yuzuru sniffled and nodded.

Neither of them spoke again, but neither of them looked away from each other either unless it was to look down at Mateo, and Yuzuru drifted off to the feeling of a larger, warm hand in his own and a tiny one pressed against his heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some Fluff and Feels!

Javier woke up to the sound of Mateo shrieking, “TOUSAN!” He sat up slowly, wincing at how much pain he had in his back and ass from sleeping sitting on the floor and reclining on a toddler beanbag, and smiled when he saw Mateo bouncing on Yuzuru’s belly, making him whine as he slowly woke up. 

“Mateo, you’re hurting Tousan,” Yuzuru muttered, pushing him off of him until he sat on the bed. 

“Tousan is home!” Mateo cheered, flinging himself back at Yuzuru, grabbing a handful of hair and a shoulder. Javier laughed, unable to help it, and Mateo turned around, looking at him with a big smile. “Papa, look! Tousan is home!”

Javier sat up on his knees, leaning on the bed with his elbows to rub his nose against Mateo’s. “I noticed, _Mijo_ ,” he said, tipping his chin up to kiss Mateo’s forehead. “Good morning, Mateo.”

“It is good, cause Tousan is home!” He flung himself into Yuzuru’s arms again. 

Yuzuru hugged him close, pressing his face into Mateo’s hair. “I missed you so much,” he whispered, kissing him repeatedly. “My big boy,” he cooed, looking Mateo in the eyes. “I love you.”

“Love you, Tousan!” he said, kissing Yuzuru’s cheek with a big ‘muah’. Javier chuckled, reaching out to rub his little back. He looked around, frowning suddenly, his chubby cheeks squishing adorably. “Why are Papa and Tousan in my room?” Yuzuru giggled and Javier grinned.

“Tousan got home very late and didn’t want to wake you up, but he wanted to see you, so we came to sleep in here with you,” he explained.

Mateo bounced excitedly. “You gotta see my skates, Tousan!” he cried, clapping his little hands. Javier was amazed at how, three days ago, Mateo had been inconsolable because his Tousan had betrayed his trust, and now it was like it never happened. 

Yuzuru’s eyes shined as he let Mateo take his hand. “Show me,” he said, and Mateo clambered off the bed, urging him over to the closet to pull out his new skates. 

“Papa teached me lots about skating already!” he gushed, picking up one of the little boots to show Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru took the tiny boot and beamed. “Just a few months ago you hated skating,” he said, and Mateo gave him an offended look, as if he was lying through his teeth.

“No, I LOVE skating!” he said, bouncing excitedly. “Can we go skating together now that you come home?” he asked, looking at Yuzuru with wide eyes. “Pleeeaaseeeeeee?”

Yuzuru nodded, biting his lip. “Definitely.”

“Promise?” Mateo urged, and Yuzuru smiled, reaching out to pat his head.

“I promise.”

Javier’s stomach clenched and he cleared his throat. “You have training,” he said pointedly, and he saw Yuzuru’s jaw clench.

“I will have time,” he said, and part of Javier was glad Yuzuru looked so guilty, but another part of him felt terrible for making him feel bad. It was hard to be angry at the person he loved. 

Javier nodded simply. “Good. Because he deserves it.”

Yuzuru swallowed visibly and nodded, hands moving to cup Mateo’s chubby little cheeks. “My baby deserves everything,” he whispered, smiling sadly as he leaned in and bumped their foreheads together. “Let’s go get some breakfast, huh, Baby?”

Mateo giggled and nodded, making their bangs rub together. “Okay,” he said, and Yuzuru kissed his forehead before letting go of him. Mateo got up and ran out of the room, already bright and excited for the day. 

Javier watched where Yuzuru sat on his knees and saw him rest his palms on his thighs and deflate a little, looking down at the little boots in front of him with guilt in his eyes. Javier sighed heavily and pushed himself up to his feet, wincing as his back cracked some. “Oh Yuzuru,” he said as he walked over to him. He crouched down beside him and couldn’t help but put a hand on his knee, sliding his fingers up to curl around Yuzuru’s hand. “Don’t hate yourself forever,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss his temple. 

“Children forgive too easily,” Yuzuru murmured. 

Javier smiled sadly. “He missed you and now you’re home.” He shook his head. “We missed you a lot,” he added.

Yuzuru looked at him with big sad eyes. “I missed you both so much.”

Javier leaned in to brush a kiss to his lips “I’m still angry at you, more than you can imagine, but I love you and am so happy you’re home no matter what.”

Yuzuru closed his eyes and Javier saw his eyelashes growing damp. “You’re an amazing husband.”

Javier chuckled and rubbed his thigh soothingly. “You’re just lucky I’ve been in love with you for most of your adult life,” he whispered tiredly, kissing his jaw once more before getting up to go after Mateo and get his breakfast for him. He could tell that Yuzuru hated what he had done to Mateo, and that didn’t make it magically okay, but it was harder to stay angry when Mateo was happy again and Yuzuru was punishing himself worse than he really deserved. 

~

Yuzuru should have been resting since he had dance class that afternoon, but the ice was free and Mateo wanted to skate, so he and Javier took him to skate in his new little tiny adorable boots and show Yuzuru how Javier had taught him how to turn the most adorable little wobbly, slow spins. 

“I DID IT!” Mateo said excitedly, throwing his arms wide, only to yelp as his feet slipped from under him and he landed right on his butt. 

“Oh no,” Yuzuru laughed as he skated over, crouching down beside him. “Are you okay?” he asked, watching as Mateo tried to stand up and kept slipping. “Here,” he said, taking his hands to help him to his feet. 

“It’s hard,” Mateo said, pouting some as he looked at his skates, wiggling his feet back and forth. 

Yuzuru pouted. “I know,” he cooed, petting his head. “It took a long time for me to learn to skate really well.”

“I highly doubt that,” Javier said as he slowed to a stop beside them, slowly skidding around to stand beside Mateo. “Tousan started skating about your age. Papa was much older.”

Yuzuru gave Mateo a look. “I started skating because I got sick too easy to play baseball with my Tousan. Inside, where it’s cold, it didn’t get me sick.” He turned Mateo to look at Javier. “Ask Papa what sports he played more when he was little,” he said, and Javier smirked.

“What? There’s not a lot of ice in Spain.”

“You didn’t skate, Papa?” Mateo asked, frowning.

Javier shook his head. “I liked playing outside sports. _Fútbol_ ,” he sighed dreamily, skating away with a wave of his hand like he was floating off on a cloud, and Yuzuru rolled his eyes. 

“Your Papa is silly,” he said, and Mateo giggled. Yuzuru looked at Javier, who skated with a little more speed and, much to Yuzuru’s delight, threw a quad salchow, landing it cleanly. Mateo gasped and clapped his hands. 

“YAY PAPA!” he cried, and Yuzuru chuckled. 

Javier skated back over to them, breathing a little heavily. “Wow, I’m getting old,” he said, looking down at Mateo. “Papa is old and fat. A single quad has me winded.”

Yuzuru was still unsure of how welcome he was to show affection for Javier, knowing he was still angry, but he couldn’t help skating up to him and putting his hands on his chest. “You are not fat. You just haven’t warmed up. You did great at the show,” he said, rubbing his chest as he caught his breath. “You do get old now, though,” he said, winking before skating away just as Javier grabbed for him, earning a screech of laughter. Yuzuru skated away, keeping out of Javier’s reach as he chased after him. 

Mateo stood in the middle of the ice, laughing that delightful little toddler giggle that filled the rink as Yuzuru skated away from Javier, going in circles while his husband tried to catch him after his teasing. Yuzuru waved at him on his way past, which proved to be his undoing, because Javier quickly caught him around the waist and scooped him up, making him scream and giggle while Javier held him with one under his knees and the other around his back, spinning around with Yuzuru in his arms.

They stopped spinning and Javier looked into Yuzuru’s eyes with a look that made Yuzuru’s heart skip a beat. “It’s so hard to be upset with you,” Javier said sadly, and Yuzuru ached knowing he was responsible for the pain in his husband’s eyes. 

Yuzuru touched Javier’s cheek gently, biting his lip. “After Mateo goes to sleep tonight, we can talk,” he murmured, and Javier nodded, jaw clenching. Yuzuru leaned their foreheads together, closing his eyes for just a moment before Mateo shouted for them and told them to stop being ‘icky’ and come play with him. 

Javier put Yuzuru back on his feet and they shared a knowing look before skating off together, going back to their son while they still had some time left on the ice. 

~

Javier wasn’t looking forward to having to have a serious talk with Yuzuru when all he really wanted to do was take his husband to bed and sleep with him in his arms after he was away for so long. But ignoring the issue wouldn’t make anything better. 

It was even harder to bring up something that could end in anger when he came to see Yuzuru had found one of his old team Spain jackets and was sitting on the couch with Effie and a smile on his face as he petted her soft fur. 

Javier walked over and sat on the other side of the couch, looking at where Yuzuru sat with his knees up and Effie on his lap. “Hey,” he whispered and Yuzuru looked up with a tense smile. 

“Hi.”

Javier sighed heavily. “Listen, Yuzu,” he started, balancing his elbows on his knees as he looked down at his hands. “What happened…” He closed his eyes. “Yuzuru, what happened cannot happen again. You just-“ He closed his eyes. “You’re a father. You can’t let these things happen.”

“It isn’t like I intended for my stay to be longer,” Yuzuru said softly. “There’s a lot of things that happened.”

“I know,” Javier said gently. “But you have to think now,” he stressed. “Yuzuru, this isn’t going to be like any season you ever did before. Nobody is taking care of you,” he said, trying not to sound as harsh as it had to sound. “You don’t have your mother with you. You don’t have Kikuchi-san with you. You are a real adult now, _Querido_. You have to think for yourself and not expect anybody to just take care of things for you.”

Yuzuru looked at him sharply. “I know that, Javier,” he said, and Javier knew he was getting upset when he said his whole name. “I am twenty-six years old, I might just be aware I’m an adult-“

“Age isn’t what makes you an adult,” Javier said firmly. “You have never really had to live as an adult, Yuzuru. You have never had to take care of yourself entirely, and it’s not your fault,” he said quickly, seeing Yuzuru’s eyes glinting with anger. “You went from your mother taking care of everything for you to marrying me and I’ve really done the same thing. You have never had to learn how to make the basic, logistic decisions yourself.”

Yuzuru looked both angry and embarrassed. “Well I’m sorry I’ve been busy caring for _your_ child for all of my ‘real adult’ life,” he said sharply, crossing his arms over his chest. Effie seemed to sense the tension and she leapt off the couch and walked away.

“I know you have,” Javier said, trying to stop Yuzuru from getting upset. Yuzuru always had a reactive personality and right now he needed to make it clear to him that he was on Yuzuru’s side. “Yuzuru, you are an _amazing_ father,” he stressed, holding his hands flat. “I’m not saying you’re a child, because you’re a better parent than most people ever can be, and a better partner than I could have ever dreamed of finding before you. What I’m saying, though,” he began delicately, “is that you probably shouldn’t be in charge of your own sponsorships and contracts.” Yuzuru looked at him with a frown.

“I can handle my own business, Javi-“

“Clearly not if you signed a contract that didn’t have a defined timeline,” Javier said firmly. “I’m not calling you incompetent, Yuzuru, I’m not. I started out saying it isn’t your fault. You have never had to do this. You have never even had to book your own travel arrangements,” he pointed out. “I was angry when you did that to Mateo, but he’s okay now. It’s obvious that being angry at you isn’t the answer.”

“Then what is?” Yuzuru demanded. “Because I feel like you’re lecturing me like I _am_ Mateo. I’m your husband, not another child for you to look after, Javier, and I don’t like you acting like I am,” he said, and Javier sighed, gritting his teeth in frustration. Yuzuru Hanyu got really set when he made up his mind. 

“I think you need a manager to do these things for you,” Javier said with finality. “You need someone to tell you what is and isn’t a good idea.” Yuzuru huffed and Javier groaned. “I’m not making fun of you or criticizing you, Yuzuru!” He reached out, putting his hand on Yuzuru’s knee. “Listen to me,” he said, looking into his eyes. “I am not saying you’re stupid, or you’re a child, or anything else you think I’m saying. I _love you_ ,” he stressed and Yuzuru’s gaze softened some. “I didn’t think about any of this before, and I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of because you don’t know better.” He slid his hand down Yuzuru’s thigh to grab his hand, twisting their fingers together. “Yes, I was angry at you for hurting Mateo, but clearly he forgave you, and it’s stupid of me to try to stay angry when you were hurt more than I was by all of this. Now, the important thing is making sure you aren’t tricked into stupid stuff like that again. It’s not your fault you don’t know better and it would be ridiculous of me to blame you for never being given the opportunity to learn.” He looked into his eyes. “I just want to prevent it happening again.” He squeezed his hand a little. “Do you understand me?”

Yuzuru bit his lip but nodded mutely. He looked down at their hands and pulled Javier’s big, broad hand to his chest, stroking his wedding ring absently. “I just hate feeling like you are talking to me like a father, not a husband,” he whispered, and Javier felt a stab of guilt. 

“I promise, that isn’t what I meant to do.” He leaned closer and brushed his fingertip against Yuzuru’s cheek. “You believe me, right?”

Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “You can’t help it, I think,” he said, leaning into Javier’s hand. “You just have natural dad-voice.” He sighed and reached out for Javier, who instantly moved back to let Yuzuru wrap his arms around him and crawl into his chest. Javier curled his arms around Yuzuru, who knelt beside him, hugging him close. “I really am sorry, though,” he murmured and Javier smiled and kissed his hair.

“I know.”

“I really missed you,” Yuzuru murmured and Javier smiled.

“I know that, too.”

Javier started just a little when he felt a hand go straight to his crotch. “Um, Yuzu?”

Yuzuru chuckled. “I _really_ missed you, Javi,” he said, pulling back to give him a playfully pouty look. “Didn’t you miss me?” he asked, and Javier’s cheeks heated some as Yuzuru rubbed the heel of his hand against Javier, which only made the blood rush somewhere else entirely. 

“You want to?” Javier asked in surprise. Yuzuru frowned and pulled his hand away but Javier caught it. “I’m not saying I don’t want,” he said quickly. “I just thought maybe after a serious talk this wasn’t really on offer tonight.”

Yuzuru scrunched his nose. “Best time for it, I think. Who wants to go to bed with that serious talk being the last thing we do?” he asked, and Javier couldn’t really argue with that logic. 

“I… think this is a good plan,” Javier said with a nod, and Yuzuru giggled, leaning in to kiss him quickly before he stood up, tugging Javier’s hands until he followed him. 

“Silly Javi,” Yuzuru purred, kissing him again, more temptingly this time. “I always have good plans.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been a while! Honestly, I've just been very busy! Sorry!!!

Javier worked on trying to find Yuzuru a manager while Yuzuru focused on really getting into training. Javier’s first thought was that he could be Yuzuru’s manager, but the reality was that with Yuzuru skating and training, Javier had to stick with his job and taking care of Mateo. He couldn’t give the attention he needed to his students or to his son if he was trying to be a manager for his husband. 

When Stephane Lambiel came to spend two weeks in Toronto after Yuzuru hired him to choreograph his upcoming season’s routines, Javier asked him while at dinner one night, having a night out while Yuzuru stayed home with Mateo, resting his tired legs, to see what his skaters did. “I just thought about it because Deniss, he strikes me as a bit of a coddled one like Yuzuru,” he clarified. 

Stephane rolled his eyes with a snort. “Oh, he is definitely that.” He shook his head. “His parents deal with it, though,” he explained. “He lives with me, but they pay for everything and plan everything for him. They ‘inform’ me about his contracts,” he said, giving him a pointed look. 

Javier grinned. “Yes, that’s how Yuzuru’s mother always handled him.” He shook his head. “We can’t ask her to give up her life _again_ and start traveling with him and taking care of all his business.” He sighed. “I wish I could just help guide him and let him handle it on his own, but Yuzuru has never had to know these things and it’s unfair to try and just toss him into the pond and expect him to swim.” He chuckled. “I don’t even know if he knows what our immigration statuses are,” he said with a look at Stephane, who cracked up.

“Without you, Yuzuru would end up with a lapsed visa,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “How would that look? Olympic champion Yuzuru Hanyu deported from Canada.”

Javier chuckled at the thought. “Honestly, even I don’t know how that would work out. I have no idea how Japanese immigration laws work, so if he did get deported for not knowing how to file his paperwork, I don’t know if Mateo and I could move to Japan to live with him, so he’s lucky I take care of filing our paperwork every time it comes due.”

Stephane hummed curiously. “Mateo isn’t a Japanese citizen? I always thought if you had a Japanese parent, you were a Japanese citizen.”

Javier shook his head. “He can choose to be when he grows up if he wants to, but since he would have to choose to be solely a Japanese citizen when he reaches adulthood and give up his other citizenships anyways, we decided to just declare him as a dual citizen of Canada and Spain. But either way, I couldn’t go with them to live for good without getting a job there and my Japanese is okay, but not _that_ good.” He waved a hand. “Anyways, I need to find him a manager. Soon, hopefully. He’s already messed up really badly once. We cannot let that happen again.”

Stephane hummed. “Oh? And what did he do?”

Javier grimaced. “He signed a bad contract and ended up having to work through our son’s birthday.” He shook his head. “I’ve never hated my husband, but there were moments when my son looked like his little heart was crushed that I wanted to. We had a big fight over that one. Worse than anything we’ve ever gone through,” he admitted. “He’s incapable of making these decisions for himself and we got through quickly enough, but I cannot let him fuck up like that again. Mateo cried his birthday away because his Tousan wasn’t there, and there’s no telling what other stuff Yuzuru can fuck up if he doesn’t get someone who understands what’s going on in there to help him.”

Stephane whistled. “Wow, yeah. He definitely needs a manager.”

Javier nodded seriously. “Yeah, he does.” He shook his head. “I’m going to have to hire someone for him,” he said with a sigh. “He’s a very incredible husband, the best father ever, and not at all capable of managing his own affairs.”

Stephane chuckled. “I guess two out of three isn’t bad,” he said, and Javier grinned, sipping his drink.

“No, no it’s not.”

~

While Javier found Yuzuru a manager, Yuzuru found himself with two new programs that took up so much of his summer to learn and train. He had always picked up choreography fast, but even as a ‘more responsible adult’ (Javier laughed when Yuzuru called himself that, which earned him more than a few silent treatments) Yuzuru still fought with Brian about the layout of the program. 

“You do not need a triple axel combination in your short program!” Brian argued, hands on his hips as he looked at Yuzuru.

Yuzuru pursed his lips. “But it is best combination I have! It works well with the music and timing! There’s a big shooooo-bang noise!” he said, waving his hands and then clapping. “It’s the perfect point for a combination and the loud part is big so a triple axel will be very impressive!” He looked at him with his arms crossed, the same way he looked at Mateo when he wasn’t listening. “You can’t really think I need to do a loop-toeloop combination for such a big part in the music.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You don’t need to do the combination that late in the program anyways. You should do triple axel, combination, then a flip or lutz.”

“Or,” Yuzuru said quickly, “Quad toe, double axel, and then triple axel combo-“

“Yuzuru,” Brian interrupted, giving him a look. “You’re twenty-six years old. You need to take it easy,” he reminded him. “No quad toe in the short, no triple axel combo in the short. Win with your artistry, not your _noticeably decreased_ stamina,” he said pointedly and Yuzuru pouted. It was true, though. He definitely didn’t have the stamina he had at his peak. 

“Fiiiiiiine,” he whined, huffing as his shoulders heaved and fell again. 

“Oh my God, how are you the parent of another human being,” Brian said, throwing his hands up as he turned to walk away. “Poor Javier, Jesus, he’s got two of them at home-“

“I can hear you!” Yuzuru called after him and Brian scoffed and ignored him, shaking his head as he left the ice. 

Yuzuru waited until he was gone then skated back out quickly, gathering speed to set up for a long-wished-for goal: a Rippon triple axel, something he had been practicing in secret for the past month. Just as he started to glide backwards, foot lifted in anticipation, Brian’s voice rang out, “If you throw that damn axel again I’ll come drag you off the ice myself!”

Yuzuru whined and let go of the tension in his legs, instead, just skating around in a circle before coming to a slow stop. 

Apparently, it wasn’t a secret after all. 

“What axel is he talking about, Yuzu?” Yuzuru spun around, smiling when he spotted Javier.

“Is he gone?” he asked, and Brian’s voice came from the corridor.

“YOU ECHO A LOT, YUZU, DON’T TEST ME!”

“Damn,” Yuzuru said, skating over slowly, pouting at Javier dramatically. “Javiiiii,” he whined, skating up to the edge of the ice to throw his arms around Javier’s shoulders, giving his best puppy eyes. “Brian is mean to me.”

Javier grinned, looking up into his eyes, as he was taller than Javi in his skates. “Why is that?”

“He won’t let me do the combination I want to do, or practice my new axel variation,” he said, poking out his bottom lip exaggeratedly. “Are you sure _you_ don’t want to coach me? I could get my way with you.”

“Ha!” Javier scoffed, eyebrows going up. “I would kill you or myself if I was coaching you. And I love you too much to do that,” he said, sliding his hands along his waist soothingly. “If Brian says no, then you should listen.” He narrowed his eyes. “And what axel variation are you doing?”

Yuzuru grinned. “A Rippon triple.”

“Yuzuru!” Javier chastised. “You’re going to break a leg! You’re too old to be doing things like that-“

“But I never got to be the first skater to land a quad axel and now I’m too old Javi I have to do _something_ unique!” he argued with a sweet smile. “Don’t you want me to be remembered forever?” he asked, and Javier gave him a flat look.

“You’re Yuzuru Hanyu. You will never not be remembered,” he said plainly.

Yuzuru hummed. “But- but I will be _more_ remembered-“

“Okay, time to get off the ice,” Javi said, and then to Yuzuru’s shock and horror, he scooped him up by grabbing his legs just under his butt and tumbled him over his shoulder, making him scream as his head landed around Javi’s lower back and his butt went straight up into the air.

“JAVI! STOP!” he shouted, clinging to his shirt fearfully.

“Stop kicking before you slice my face off with your skate,” Javier said, swatting him on the butt as he carried him towards the locker room. 

“I am going to fall on my head and die!”

“I would never drop you-“ as the door to the locker room swung open, Yuzuru squealed in fear. 

“You are not so strong anymore, Javi-“ Javier scoffed and interrupted him again with a denial.

“And you’re still all of fifty-five kilograms-“

“I will divorce you-“

“No you won’t-“

“I could- AH!” Yuzuru shouted as he was dropped onto the bench – carefully – and Javier grinned at him as he looked up with wide eyes and disheveled hair. “You’re so mean,” he said, glaring. 

Javier just winked. “And your ass is really getting hard again from all the skating. I forgot how perky it was when you were skating.”

Yuzuru blushed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, don’t even think you’re gonna get to touch it again anytime soon after carrying me like that,” he said and Javier smirked.

“Sure,” he said, and Yuzuru glowered more darkly. “Anyways, I’m going to pick Mateo up from the daycare, don’t be too long at the gym, okay?” he said, and Yuzuru’s glare held. Javier just smiled. “Okay, love you, see you at home,” he said, waving as he walked out with that same shit-eating grin on his face.

Worst of all, when Yuzuru came back out – having had to take off his skates since the blade guards were back out by the ice – Brian looked far too pleased when he told him he was going to the gym and then heading home for the day. 

~

Javier and Mateo were the official first audience for Yuzuru’s new short program once it was perfected, and were it not for the toddler in his lap, Javier would have thought he was transported back in time to one of their seasons competing against each other and he had come to the rink early just to see Yuzuru do a run-through. He was skating a fast-paced, upbeat classical piece for his short and he looked just as graceful and powerful as ever. Even Mateo seemed dazzled by his father’s skating, because Javier rested his chin on top of Mateo’s curls and the baby never moved once while Yuzuru skated. 

When he finished, however, Mateo threw his arms up – punching Javi in the ear a little in doing so – and yelled, “WOW TOUSAN THAT WAS COOL!” Javier snickered, but Brian burst out in full laughter off to their left. Mateo squirmed around, looking up at Javi. “Papa, did you SEE?!” he all but screeched, as if he doubted Javier had watched closely.

“I did, Mateo. Tousan is so good, isn’t he?” he said, and Mateo nodded, smiling a big, giant, all-Yuzuru smile. Most of the time, he looked just like Javier, but sometimes Javier looked at Mateo and all he saw was Yuzuru, especially when he smiled like that and his small eyes nearly disappeared the way Yuzuru’s did when he smiled really big. 

“Tousan is THE BEST EVER!” he proclaimed at the top of his lungs. 

Yuzuru laughed as he skated over and came off the ice. “Best ever, huh?” he asked, leaning down to kiss Mateo’s forehead. “Even better than Papa?”

Mateo got quiet and looked very serious before saying, “Even better,” and nodding as if he was a wise old grandpa deciding something very important. Javier really loved his child sometimes. 

Yuzuru gasped dramatically. “Oh wow, did Papa hear that? Tousan is even better than Papa,” he said, smiling at Javier with a playful look.

Javier grinned and hugged Mateo close. “It’s okay, I forgive you because I agree,” he said, winking. “Tousan is definitely the best ever.”

Yuzuru grinned. “Did you really like it? You do not think it is too ‘traditional’?” he asked, and Javier shook his head.

“Your strength is graceful lines and dramatics, and this is perfect for that. Some of that pop-stuff people like to do just isn’t your style.” He leaned in to peck Yuzuru’s lips. “You’re really going to do well, _Querido_ ,” he said fondly. “I can’t wait to see you compete again.”

Yuzuru beamed. “And my long is even better! I convinced Brian to let me do my new triple axel!” he said excitedly.

Javier looked over and Brian, raising an eyebrow, and Brian sighed, putting a hand to his forehead as he said, “He made me choose between that or a triple axel – half loop – triple axel combination. It was an ultimatum that I had no real choice in. Because I’ve seen him do that combination in practice and I know he’s just dumb enough to put it in a program and break his face doing it,” he said tiredly. 

Javier grinned. “I saw him do a triple axel from a complete stand still once. I don’t doubt anything he says he will do regarding a triple axel.”

“Tousan, will you teach me how to do a tripe aspell?” Mateo asked, and Yuzuru laughed at his adorable miswording. 

“One day when you’re bigger, I promise,” Yuzuru said, taking Mateo’s little face between his palms. “If you want to learn everything I know about skating, I will teach you when you are bigger and your little legs aren’t so fragile.” Javier watched Yuzuru leaning in to bump his nose against Mateo’s as they both smiled and he felt his heart warm pleasantly at the wonderful, picture-perfect moment in his family’s life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short, but the next chapter is far too long to include in this one (and isn't finished yet) so this is kind of a turning point in the story!

After hiring Yuzuru a manager – a young lady named Nao who came recommended from the JSF – they had to focus on planning Yuzuru’s season while Javier focused on picking the right preschool for Mateo. 

Yuzuru worried about all the time he was going to miss with his son, but he also recognized that it would help him. He had no other kids his age to play with and he was reaching a point where he needed that social interaction. Yuzuru and Javier were both younger brothers, so they had a sibling to grow up with, and though Yuzuru did want to give their son a sibling someday, it wouldn’t be anytime soon. 

Mateo’s first day of preschool would be the beginning of September, only two weeks before Yuzuru’s first competition, a Challenger cup competition in America so he didn’t have to travel too far. Javier had talked about the three preschools he narrowed it down to at dinner one night.

“One is just five minutes walk from the rink, which I like, in case I get a call about needing to come get him,” Javier explained, passing Mateo’s cup to him as he sat down. “But it isn’t really like the preschools that have lessons like a lot of them do. It’s like just a different daycare than the one he’s in now.”

Yuzuru hummed. “I would like for him to be taught things,” he agreed.

“Exactly,” Javier said between bites of his rice. “But the thing is, the best one is thirty minutes by bus from the rink. The other one is closer, but it’s not as good as the best one. I’m really torn. I want to be able to be there if he gets sick or something as fast as possible, not have to wait for a bus and then ride half an hour to go get him.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “Think about it. There is always somebody at the rink you could get a ride from. If Mateo got sick or something, somebody would drive you.”

Javier hummed. “I hadn’t thought about that,” he said, tapping his fork on his plate. “What do you think? Did you look at the websites I sent you links to?”

Yuzuru ducked his head guiltily. “No. I did not think about it yet. I do not have a lot of time and when I’m home, I would rather spend time playing with Mateo,” he confessed.

Javier smiled sadly. “I know you want to relax when you are home, Yuzuru, but you need a say in the preschool, too. Just because I’m going to be the one mostly taking him and stuff doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t have a say in our child’s education.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I will look later, I promise,” he said, reaching out to put his hand over Javier’s. “Now! Tell me about your students. Did you have a good day?”

Javier groaned and dropped his head back as he started regaling Yuzuru with the tales of Katrina, the thirteen-year-old girl who was absolutely adamant she was doing quads even if there was literally no reason, points wise, for her to do so. By the time Javier finished reenacting the time she decided to pretend she couldn’t understand his accent, Yuzuru could barely breathe from laughing, which made Mateo laugh even if he had no idea what was funny. 

That night, as they got ready for bed after Mateo was sleeping, Javier groaned and grunted a few times while moving around the bedroom and, when Yuzuru raised an eyebrow at him as he crawled into bed, Javier grimaced and then pouted playfully. “I am feeling the old age hitting me,” he explained, and Yuzuru winced in sympathy when Javier’s knee clicked audibly when he put his legs up onto the bed. 

“Poor Javi,” he cooed, shuffling around to pat Javier’s chest once he was finally settled onto his back beneath the covers beside him. 

Javier sighed and curled his arm around Yuzuru’s shoulders, tugging him to cuddle into his side. “I shouldn’t have skated so long,” he confessed. “I’m thirty years old and instead of being in my prime, I ache all over after a day training these kids.” 

Yuzuru smiled and looked up at his face from his spot pressed against Javier’s chest. “That is not true, though. If you retire before when you did, we would not be married and have Mateo,” he said playfully. “He happened the first time we had sex. One season less and you would have left before that ever happened.”

Javier smirked and tilted his head in consideration. “I never thought of it that way,” he allowed. He rubbed Yuzuru’s shoulder slowly. “And I wouldn’t have won an Olympic medal,” he added. “That was the best season of my career, even if it was my least successful one, so maybe you’re right. The aches and pains are worth it.” He looked into Yuzuru’s eyes and just looked at him. Yuzuru let him look, not pushing him to speak or explain why he was getting lost in Yuzuru’s eyes. It was minutes later before he finally spoke. “I don’t know how you do it,” he said softly. “You skated for so long, wore your body out for so long, and suffered many more injuries than I did. And you still skate like you’ve never been away. You look the same as you have since you were about twenty. Your body didn’t even change much in the time you were retired and that was after having a baby.”

Yuzuru smiled. “It is because I have good DNA. My mom looks your age,” he said and Javier snorted.

“That is true. It’s so awkward when people see us together and think we’re the same age when she’s my mother-in-law,” he joked. He stroked Yuzuru’s cheek. “Will you still love me when I’m bald and wrinkly by the time I’m forty-five and you finally look about thirty?”

Yuzuru giggled. “Yes,” he said, stroking his fingers absently along Javier’s chest. “Maybe I close my eyes and imagine young Javi when we have sex, but I will love you always.”

Javier barked out a surprised laugh and then shook Yuzuru playfully before shuffling down to lay facing him, both of them getting in a comfortable position to actually go to sleep. “I cannot wait to be an old married couple with you.”

Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “Me, too.”

~

Javier was pretty sure he had never seen Yuzuru more excited about _anything_ than Mateo’s little school backpack. “HE IS SO SMALL IT IS AS BIG AS HIM!” he screeched, shaking Javier as they looked down at Mateo with his new backpack on. 

Javier exaggerated how much Yuzuru was shaking him and groaned, “Help me, Mateo, Tousan is shaking up my brains!”

Mateo gasped. “Nooooo, Tousan, quit it,” he said, grabbing onto Yuzuru’s legs. “Don’t shake up Papa’s brains!”

Yuzuru giggled and knelt down to be level with Mateo. “You are the cutest thing I have ever seen,” he said with a voice that said he was a few moments from squealing like he’d seen a baby cat. He reached out and petted Mateo’s hair slowly. “My baby is the cutest baby at the preschool.”

“I haven’t gone yet, Tousan,” Mateo said, and Yuzuru smiled.

“I’m your Tousan, I know you’re the cutest already,” he said, then tugged him into a hug, backpack and all. “Oh my God, I’m going to cry.”

Javier chuckled, but he had to admit, Mateo was adorable. His backpack was almost as big as he was, hanging down well below his butt once he put it on, and wider than his little body. All he had in it was the requested change of clothes and a snack, so Javier was confident it wouldn’t tip is tiny body over when he walked. “We really need to get going,” he said softly, and Yuzuru’s shoulders tensed. Javier knew why and it broke his heart even more.

Yuzuru had a flight to catch by noon, so he couldn’t take Mateo to school for his first day with Javier. He had to rush to get all his things ready to go and get to the car that was coming for him and to the airport. He had only not already started gathering all his things up to take outside because he couldn’t miss at least breakfast with his son on his first day. Yuzuru’s first competition of the season, a Challenger series competition in America, was the week of Mateo starting at the preschool they had chosen to enroll him in. It broke Yuzuru’s heart, but Javier was pretty confident that all the busy schedule of traveling and training and skating would help alleviate his worries. 

“Tousan, when will you be home?” Mateo asked, fidgeting with the straps on his bag.

Yuzuru sighed. “Not until next week,” he said, brushing Mateo’s curls off his forehead. “But I’ll call you every day after you get home. I promise,” he said seriously. “Papa will make sure we can talk and you can tell me all about your new friends and teacher.”

Mateo pouted some. “Are you coming with us now?” he asked, and Yuzuru shook his head with a sad look.

“No. I have to leave very soon. Almost right after you and Papa leave.” Mateo’s little lip wobbled and Javier feared a meltdown when he saw his eyes growing wet, but Yuzuru shushed him. “No, don’t cry,” he urged. He pulled Mateo into a hug, cuddling him close. “Listen, Tousan knows you’re a big boy who will be good for your Papa, right?” He kissed Mateo’s head. “Be brave for me. I’ll be home before you know it and you can tell me all about your new school.” 

“P-Promise?” Mateo asked in a tiny, watery tone, and Yuzuru closed his eyes.

“I promise. And this time I won’t break it,” he whispered, rubbing Mateo’s hair again. “Now. You and Papa need to go so you can get to school on time. You’re going to have so much fun with other boys and girls your age, not little or bigger like at daycare.”

When Javier gently guided Mateo away from Yuzuru, he was the pain in Yuzuru’s features as he stood up. Javier stepped forward and pressed a long, gentle kiss to Yuzuru’s lips, unable to keep from comforting his husband when he looked upset. “Have a safe flight. Do good for me, okay?”

Yuzuru nodded, forcing a smile. “Take care of yourself,” he whispered, and then Javier gave him one more quick kiss to the forehead before taking Mateo’s hand to guide him to the door. “Bye Mateo! Have fun for Tousan. I love you!”

“I love Tousan,” Mateo said, waving his tiny hand at him as he stepped out the door, his other hand in Javier’s grasp as they left for the start of a new chapter in their family. Yuzuru took a few deep, stabilizing breaths, and nodded to himself before going to get his bags together.

He had a job to do and he had to be strong, too.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one gets a little dirty, dirty! ;D

Within a few days of Mateo being in school, Javier had already learned a lot about his new school. Mateo wasn’t sure about his new preschool. He had trusted his papa when he told him the other kids would be nice, and most of them were, but one boy laughed at Mateo because he was the shortest kid in his class. Also, the teacher made him take a nap and Mateo didn’t like naps. Javier knew it was because papa didn’t make him take naps anymore unless he was sleepy but she said he had to nap no matter what. The daycare lady had let him play if he didn’t want to nap. 

His new best friend, though, she was the best.

Mrs. Kim asked everybody to talk about their families and when Mateo mentioned that he had a papa and a tousan, Sarah gasped and shouted, “I got a tousan, too!” Sarah’s mom and tousan were from Japan and her mom was from Canada before Japan, so Sarah could speak Japanese like him, which meant they had to be best friends.

“Well, obviously,” Javier said teasingly, but Mateo didn’t seem to realize he was being teased. 

“And- and Jack has a daddy that plays the hockey! He ice skates too but different!”

Javier bit back a laugh, because he happened to know there was no ‘Jack’ on the class list the teacher gave the parents, but there was a Jacques. “Oh yeah? I’ve tried hockey skates. It’s strange feeling.”

“And his daddy doesn’t have front teeth!” Mateo added, and Javier barked out a laugh before he could stop himself. “He got hit with the hockey and they fell out.”

Javier bit his lip. “You mean the hockey _puck_?” he asked, and Mateo looked at him like he had personally offended him by correcting him. He scooped him up and hugged him close. “So do you like your class?”

“I don’t like naps, and Zach is mean, but Sarah is cool and we’re learning colors!” he said excited. “I didn’t even know there were SO MANY!”

Javier smiled warmly and bumped their foreheads together affectionately. “Do you want to call Tousan and tell him about all the colors?” he asked, and Mateo’s face _glowed_.

“I GOTTA TELL TOUSAN ABOUT THE COLORS!” he screeched excitedly, bouncing and kicking.

When he took Mateo to sit on his and Yuzuru’s bed together and set the laptop up so they could both talk to Yuzuru, he didn’t expect to get Yuzuru also curled up on bed with his phone and a sleepy look. “Hi, Jabi,” Yuzuru greeted, smiling warmly – though visibly tiredly – at Mateo. “Mateo, do you miss Tousan?”

“Uh-huh,” Mateo said, nodding. “Tousan, I gotta tell you about the colors!”

Javier shushed him before he could get going, however. “Yuzu? Are you alright?” he asked, and Yuzuru nodded with a sleepy smile.

“Just tired. I was taking a little mid-afternoon nap when you called,” he said, and Javier instantly felt sorry.

“Crap, I didn’t-“

“No, no, I want to talk to my boys,” Yuzuru countered, smiling at them. He rolled onto his front, and Javier smiled at how Yuzuru’s hair stuck up all over. “Tell me about the colors,” he urged and Mateo beamed and began to rattle off all the things he learned. Javier just watched Yuzuru the whole time Mateo talked to him, and he could see the exhaustion in his husband’s features. He was worried about him. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and he hoped he didn’t get hurt because he was tired during competition. 

When Mateo finished detailing his every move at school, Yuzuru beamed at him. “I’m so proud of you being a big boy and making friends,” he told him. “I was always too busy for a lot of friends, but you will be so much happier with other children to play with. Sarah sounds really cool.”

Mateo smiled brightly. “When are you gonna skate, Tousan?”

Yuzuru looked at the clock. “In about six hours. You and Papa might be able to watch it online, but you might fall asleep before my turn.”

Mateo pouted. “I wanna see you skate.”

“We’ll try,” Javier promised, kissing his curls. “Hey, do you want to go play a little while and let me talk to Tousan?”

“Okay!” Mateo blew a kiss at the screen. “Bye-bye Tousan! Good luck.”

Yuzuru beamed. “Thank you, Mateo.” He blew him a kiss back and then Mateo climbed out of Javier’s lap to run play. 

Javier waited until he was for sure gone before smirking at the screen. “You look so sexy all sleepy and rumpled,” he said and Yuzuru blushed and rolled his eyes. 

“Javi.”

“What, you know how I feel about you in the morning,” he purred and Yuzuru bit his lip, the blush not fading from his cheeks. They had been very busy lately so it had been a while, and the reminder of how much they enjoyed making love lazily in the morning sometimes was clearly affecting Yuzuru. 

“Javi,” he said flatly, and Javier smirked.

“What? We’ve never done this,” he urged and Yuzuru glared.

“I was just talking to my toddler about school, now is really not the time,” he said and Javier grinned.

“The toddler we have because I got you pregnant,” he pointed out and Yuzuru snorted.

“Why are you so dirty?” 

Javier chuckled. “You just do this to me, Querido. You know I’m weak to your beauty.”

Yuzuru laughed. “If you really want to do this, you better lock the door,” he said, and Javier’s eyes widened.

“Wait, really?” he asked, and Yuzuru bit is lip teasingly. Javier figured Mateo would be alright on his own for fifteen minutes. He scrambled to lock the door and then got back to the bed, sitting the laptop on the foot of the bed, propped up on a pillow. “This feels kind of kinky,” he said and Yuzuru giggled, biting his bottom lip as he moved around, settling his phone amongst the pillows on the bed to prop it up. He moved back and sat down on his knees, looking at the phone. 

“I have no idea how we are supposed to do this, Javi,” he said, laughing. “We never do kinky thing. I do not even know how to be sexy.”

Javier grinned. “Everything you do is sexy, Baby. I’ve got half-hard watching you shop for groceries before,” he reminded him and Yuzuru smirked.

“That’s because I wore tight pants and leaned over a lot.” He hummed. “I do not have lube or anything, so I’m not sure how much of a show I can give.”

Javier shook his head. “I just want to see you.”

Yuzuru bit his lip nervously but then grabbed the hem of his shirt, tugging it up slowly. Javier’s mouth went dry as Yuzuru’s abs rippled as his shirt went up, and when he dropped it off the bed, Javier could already feel the heat in his groin. Yuzuru was so beautiful. So slender and graceful. “You could make any man weak with your waist.” Sitting on his knees made his hips look even wider and his waist even narrower. Yuzuru had always been so curvy for a skinny man. 

“I want to see you,” Yuzuru said, and Javier obliged, removing his shirt. Javier knew he was no great treat to look at anymore, but Yuzuru looked hungry all the same. Javier used to have washboard abs and arms as big and muscular as Yuzuru’s thighs. Now, he was still in decent shape for a man his age, but long gone were the abs and his arms were more ‘naturally strong’ looking than big. 

And yet somehow, Yuzuru still thought he was hot. “The way you look at me makes me feel twenty-five again,” Javier told him and Yuzuru smirked.

“I like sexy Javi but this Javi is good, too. That’s the body I see every time we have sex. It’s a good body,” he said with a shrug. He shifted from his knees to push his shorts off and Javier moaned when he saw there was nothing under them. Yuzuru slid his hands down his waist to his hips, then down his thighs as he moved back to his knees. “You like this body?” he asked, and Javier swallowed hard.

“Yeah, I really like this body,” he said, imagining the feeling of his hands on that tiny waist and curled around those wide hips. “Touch your hips for me,” he urged and Yuzuru blushed and shivered but did what he said. 

“Mmmm, Javi always touches me like my hips belong to those hands.” Javier could see him getting hard already and he was kind of glad he wasn’t the only one. 

“God, you make me horny like a teenager. How do you still drive me crazy so fast?”

Yuzuru made a soft sound of pleasure as he slid a hand down his inner thigh as his other skated up over his stomach to his chest, touching his nipple. “Making you crazy turns me on,” he said and Javier chuckled.

“I can imagine.” Javier adjusted himself as he shifted and Yuzuru’s eyes darkened.

“Show me,” he demanded and Javier was never one to disappoint Yuzuru. He pushed his pants off, kicking them off the bed, and Yuzuru moaned at the sight of Javier half-hard already. “Touch yourself. I want it in my mouth,” Yuzuru said and Javier nearly died right there.

“You’re going to kill me, Jesus,” he said, but did as Yuzuru wanted, taking himself in hand and stroking himself to hardness. “For the record, while this is sexy, I feel pretty weird masturbating on camera.”

Yuzuru smirked. “Just think of it like long-distance kinky sex. It’s just like giving me a show while I’m in the bedroom with you, except we’re in different bedrooms.”

Javier sat back, stroking his hardening length. “Do you like it?”

Yuzuru moaned and nodded, hands sliding all over his body. “Yes. Wish I could suck you. You feel good in my mouth.”

“Touch yourself,” Javier moaned, and Yuzuru gripped his length. Javier loved watching Yuzuru touch himself. His elegant fingers looked so hot wrapped around his hard cock. “Fuck, when you come home, I’m going to fuck your mouth.”

Yuzuru whined. “If I medal, you should reward me.”

Javier smirked. “If you get bronze, I’ll give you a sexy dance.”

Yuzuru chuckled breathlessly, still stroking himself. “If I win silver, I want to fuck you,” he said, and Javier raised an eyebrow.

“We haven’t done that in a long time,” he said. They did occasionally swap things up, but Yuzuru really preferred bottoming almost always. Javier wasn’t at all opposed to that, though. 

“If I win gold, I want to be kinky,” Yuzuru moaned, and Javier bit his lip.

“How kinky?”

Yuzuru whimpered, touching his thighs while he jerked off faster. “I want to tie you to the bed and fuck myself on your cock until I scream, I want to use you to get off and all you can do is lay there and watch while I make myself come on your cock.”

Javier jerked so hard he nearly fell off the bed. “Holy shit, Yuzuru, where the hell did that come from?!”

“You don’t want it?” Yuzuru asked, and Javier shook his head quickly.

“I really, really want that,” he said, suddenly a lot closer than he had been just a moment ago. “Fuck, that’s so hot. How long have you wanted to do that?”

Yuzuru moaned. “I had a dream about it. In my dream, I sat on your face and you licked me open, then I rode you until I came twice.”

“I’m going to come,” Javier warned him and Yuzuru whined.

“Come, Javi. Lemme see,” he panted, and that was all it took before Javier found his release with a long, low groan. 

He panted as he watched Yuzuru’s hips jerk as he came, spilling across his knuckles. Yuzuru moaned and slumped, boneless. He laid on the bed with a huff. Javier laughed. “Feel good?”

Yuzuru mumbled. “I needed this. I feel so relaxed. I will skate better I think.”

Javier grinned. “You’re the cutest,” he said fondly, and Yuzuru smiled at him before crawling up the bed to grab the phone. He held it closer to his face and Javier loved the blissed out expression on his face. 

“We need to make more time for sex,” Yuzuru decided and Javier snickered. “I know we are both very busy, but sex is important, too. We are young men who are in love, we need a healthy sex life.”

Javier sighed. “I know. Things are just very hectic right now.”

“We can at least make time for quickies,” Yuzuru said and Javier laughed.

“I love you so much, Yuzuru Hanyu.” He looked at his husband fondly. “There is nobody like you, Yuzu.”

Yuzuru beamed. “Of course not. I’m too cute for anybody else to be like me,” he said, and Javier snorted when he poked his cheeks and smiled all adorably. 

“I have to get cleaned up and go see what our child is up to,” Javier said, ignoring Yuzuru’s whines about him putting his clothes back on while he did so. 

~

“You seem weirdly calm.” Yuzuru turned and looked at Brian, who was watching him during warmup. “Like, _weirdly_ calm.”

Yuzuru blushed and giggled. “Mateo and Javi called while I was supposed to be napping.”

Brian hummed. “Oh? That’s good. You need a good relationship with your family. It’s nice if that’s what keeps you calm. You have a sure-fire way to relax before competition.”

Yuzuru snorted. “Maybe not every competition.”

Brian frowned. “Why not?”

Yuzuru snickered. “I skyped with my _husband_ and now I’m more relaxed,” he said pointedly and Brian seemed confused before Yuzuru wiggled his eyebrows and then Brian grimaced suddenly.

“Oh, _ew_!”

Yuzuru laughed. “Hey, you ask!”

“Jesus, I miss when you were a friendless teenager,” Brian bemoaned, walking away to leave Yuzuru to keep warming up alone.

Yuzuru grinned and put his hands under his chin. “You love me and my married life!”

“I really don’t,” Brian denied walking away.

“A HEALTHY MARRIAGE INVOLVES A LOT OF HEALTHY SEX!” Yuzuru shouted after him, cackling when Brian ran around the next corner. Yuzuru looked around and saw a lot of skaters and their teams looking at him and blushed when he realized how many of the other skaters were practically kids. 

He hid his eyes and scurried over to a corner, shoving his headphones on his head as he started going back to his stretches. 

~

Javier let Mateo stay up late so they could watch Yuzuru skate on a livestream, and it was absolutely fantastic to see him skate again. “Whoa, Tousan is so cool,” Mateo whispered, curled up in Javier’s lap. Javier kissed his curls and smiled. Yuzuru was skating so well that Javier could hardly believe it had been four years since he skated.

When Yuzuru struck his ending pose for his short program, the commentator on the feed seemed beside himself. “And that is the Yuzuru Hanyu we all remember. This is the man who won back to back Olympic gold medals. This is the man who won Olympic gold while secretly pregnant. There is absolutely nothing this man can’t do and I think I speak for everyone when I say I cannot _wait_ to see what is coming this season!”

Javier chuckled and hugged Mateo. “Your Tousan is the most amazing person I’ve ever known, Mateo. And I’m not the only one who thinks so, see?”

Mateo nodded, leaning into Javier’s chin. “Tousan is the best,” he confirmed, and Javier grinned, kissing his curls again.

“He really is.”

~

Yuzuru felt nervous before the long because he’d done so well during the short that the expectations were incredibly high. To make things worse, he couldn’t call his family for support either because Javier was working. Brian did his best to calm him down, but it wasn’t working as well as he hoped. Deniss had skated at the start of the final group of skaters, Yuzuru’s only other real competition in such a small event, and he had been _phenomenal_. He had set a very high bar with his free program, and Yuzuru wasn’t sure he could compete with the Latvian’s spins at all. He had been sure of himself before he watched that skate, but afterwards, with such beautiful spin positions and textbook jumps, he was fairly certain Deniss had it in the bag, even with his less-than-perfect short the day before.

“Yuzuru.” Brian caught his attention and Yuzuru looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. “You have the most beautiful axel in the field and your new layback spin is flawless. You’ve got this.”

“But his spins-“

“Are good, I won’t lie,” Brian said bluntly. “But there’s more to a good long than just spins. His choreography sequence was a level one and his step sequence a level two. You can get fours on both of those.”

Yuzuru nodded mutely, fidgeting with his fingers. “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay-“

“Breathe,” Brian chastised, swatting him in the side of the head playfully until he laughed in spite of himself. “There we go. Just calm down. Relax. You’re going to be great.”

Yuzuru nodded, taking steady breaths. “Thanks,” he said and Brian just chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. Just get out there and skate your best. It’s your first competition in a long time and you’re handling it well so far. Just finish strong and whatever happens happens.”

When Yuzuru’s name was called to take the ice, he took a deep breath and started walking.

~

Javier and Mateo were waiting for Yuzuru at the rink when he got back, and the first thing he did is drape his brand new gold medal around Mateo’s neck and pull him into his arms. He looked up at Javier who smirked and winked, and Yuzuru blushed but bit his bottom lip as he mouthed, “This weekend,” at him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HAS BEEN SO LONG! I'm sorry! I have bad writer's block. I wanted to finish this chapter with the whole skating weekend before posting, but this is good enough for SOMETHING for you guys after such patience. 
> 
> I am taking writing prompts on tumblr (threealover not 3Alover on there) to help me try and write little oneshots to get over this block. 
> 
> Either way, ENJOY AND I AM SORRY! I hope I have more way sooner!

Yuzuru smiled innocently when Brian glared at him as soon as he arrived. “Hey, Brian.”

“You broke my coach,” Brian accused, gesturing to the pre-teen children joining them on the ice today. “You get to put up with them training with you.”

Yuzuru pouted. “But whyyyyy?” He held his fingers a few inches apart. “I only broke him a little. And he liked it!” he added, and Brian grimaced. 

“I regret my involvement in getting you two in the same place all those years ago. I would have more hair without the two of you in my life,” he said, though Yuzuru knew he was just being silly in his frustration.

To be fair to Brian, it was Yuzuru’s fault. Sunday afternoon, Mateo was going to play with his friend Sarah at her house since her mom was having a little play-date for kids from their class, and after dropping him off, Yuzuru and Javier decided to wisely use their time for that ‘reward’ Javier promised him.

In the end, they didn’t even make it to the tying down part after a brief blowjob to get things started, because when Javier told Yuzuru to stop before he finished before the good part even started, Yuzuru tugged Javier up from the couch and demanded Javier carry him to bed, and in the process, Javier had slipped on the clothes Yuzuru had just stripped off and left lying in the hallway, stumbled into the wall and banged his shoulder, dropped Yuzuru, and then panicked in his quest to catch him and, in his scramble, twisted his ankle and landed badly on his knee beside Yuzuru. 

It was not their finest sexual encounter of their marriage. 

In the end, instead of spending the two hours free they had having kinky sex, they spent twenty minutes getting naked, teasing each other, and getting a little foreplay in, and then the next _three_ hours – Mateo having to stay with his friend’s mom – at the urgent care clinic making sure Javier’s ankle, knee, and shoulder were okay. In the end, nothing was sprained, but his knee was swollen and had an ugly bruise and his shoulder was stiff. The doctor suggested just ice and elevation for a day or two and then light use after that. 

That night, Yuzuru pampered him and gave him another blowjob in apology, which seemed to fix his bad mood and make him not mad at Yuzuru for throwing clothes around anymore, but it sadly couldn’t fix his injuries. Hence, Javier’s thirteen- and fourteen-year-old students having to train with Brian for a few days. 

And Javier having to explain why he slipped on clothes in the hallway when Brian didn’t understand how that could happen. 

Yuzuru had been embarrassed, but ultimately decided it was worth at least attempting to spice up their ‘old married people’ sex life. It was a failure, but the real failure was not attempting, in his opinion. “Listen,” he said plainly to Brian. “A healthy marriage needs healthy-“

“There are thirteen-year-old children over there, please for the love of God, do not start talking about ‘a healthy marriage’,” Brian interrupted. “Do you know what kids that age like to do? Ask embarrassing questions and laugh about how uncomfortable it makes adults. Those children have no shame. They’re at an age where there is no way to embarrass them, they just feed off of torturing me.”

Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “You are so dramatic,” he said, but then skated off. “Hey, everybody!” he greeted, waving to the kids, who all seemed a little star-struck by him, as if his husband wasn’t their every-day coach. “Brian says I’m training with you today!” He looked around and saw three boys and two girls, all adorably awkward looking just like he had been at that age. 

(His husband, embarrassingly, had only had an awkward haircut in his photos from that age. Stupid handsome people.)

“Yuzuru Hanyu,” one of the girls said almost in a daze. He smiled and she blushed and squeaked and then hid behind the other girl.

“I’m Yuzuru, what’s your name?” he asked her, skating closer.

“D-Debbie,” she whispered, big blue eyes peeking over her friend’s shoulder. 

He beamed. “Hi, Debbie.” He patted her on the head, her curly hair reminding him of his son. “Don’t be shy. You train every day with one of the best figure skaters in the history of the sport. I’m no different,” he said, and she giggled slightly. 

“I saw you win your last gold medal,” she said quietly. “It made me want to be a figure skater.”

Yuzuru, inexplicably, felt a little choked up at that. Instead he just smiled. “I’m so happy you love skating, too.”

It was strange practicing with children their age. They were too old to be his children, but they were too young to be teammates, so Yuzuru felt a weird mixture of his paternal side coming out and his friendly side coming out with them. It was amazing, really, how good those children were. Brian had them all work on triple axels – the girls included – since Yuzuru was there. Every single one of them landed at least once clean triple axel, which just astounded Yuzuru. 

“They’re so good,” Yuzuru said to Brian while everybody took a water break. “I always have known you are an amazing coach, but that’s just incredible.”

Brian chuckled. “Sadly, I can’t take credit for these kids. That’s all your husband’s work.”

Yuzuru felt a warm feeling and smiled at the kids who were already back on the ice. “Javi is so good with children. I’m not surprised he’s a good coach,” he admitted. 

“Tousan!” Yuzuru turned around and smiled when he saw Mateo and his little friend Sarah coming through the door with Sarah’s mom. He smiled and leaned down to kiss Mateo’s curls when he got to him. 

“Hey! Wow, has it really been that long now?” He looked up and smiled at Sarah’s mom. “Thanks for watching him for me. I just didn’t want Javi walking around and hurting his knee.”

She waved a hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I know Sarah likes playing with Mateo anyways. Having him around makes me want another one,” she joked, and Yuzuru laughed.

“I do want another one,” he said, looking at Mateo. “When I retire again, we’re going to adopt. We were talking about it already before I decided to give another season a go. Javi and I both have sisters, so we don’t want Mateo to be an only child.”

“Neither my husband or I had siblings, so we’re not that worried-“

“YUZURU! ICE! NOW!” Yuzuru turned and saw the kids were all back out there and he blushed, turning back to Sarah’s mother with a sheepish grin.

“So sorry!” he said before skating off. “Mateo can just wait for me here if you have to go!” he called, waving for Mateo to sit down and watch. He giggled as the kids all looked at him like he was crazy when he skidded to a stop and smiled at Brian. “Okay, I’m ready!”

Brian just shook his head and faced all the kids again. 

~

Javier watched Yuzuru packing from his spot on the couch with his leg elevated. His knee was healing more slowly than the doctor had expected, largely because Javier already had bad knees as it was, so jamming his knee into the floor made the joint sore. Because of that, he was off the ice for another week and was about to spend a few days limping around while taking care of Mateo all alone. 

Yuzuru had his first Grand Prix assignment this week. 

Javier had hoped Yuzuru would get Skate Canada so he and Mateo could go see him, but his first skate was in Russia. Yuzuru would be skating in Moscow first, and then in a few weeks, he could be at Skate America. That one, he and Mateo were going to. It was in New York, so the flight would be a quick one. He watched Yuzuru walking back and forth and smiled, shaking his head. He looked back at the TV and thought about all those times Brian complained about how particular Yuzuru was during competitions. Now, Javier got to witness it. 

Javier was still thinking when a heavy weight flopped onto his lap. “What are you thinking about?” Yuzuru asked, making Javier grunt as he shifted around until he was straddling Javier’s lap, looking down at him curiously. 

“How much I love you,” Javier said, hands going to his husband’s hips. 

Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “You are lying,” he said, resting his hands on Javier’s belly. “Will you miss me?” he asked playfully, going so far as to pout. 

Javier grinned and slid his hands around to squeeze Yuzuru’s ass. “I’ll miss parts of you,” he joked and Yuzuru gave him an annoyed swat on the chest.

“You’re so bad,” he chastised, though Javier noticed he pushed his butt back into Javier’s hands a little bit, which made Javier smirk. 

“You know I’ll miss you,” Javier murmured, rubbing his hips gently. “Even when you try to break me, I love you,” he teased.

Yuzuru groaned, flopping forward on his chest, rubbing his forehead against Javier’s shirt. “I still feel so embarrassed,” he groaned. He sat up again, cheeks a little pink. “I promise, I’m going to make it up to you.”

Javier laughed. “I’m not mad at you, Yuzuru. You don’t have to make anything up to me.” He slid his hands to Yuzuru’s thighs, rubbing them teasingly. “Besides, you’re the one who isn’t getting any because of it. You’ve given me ‘surprises’ twice since I got hurt and you don’t get anything. Pretty sure you’ll be happier when I’m better than I will,” he joked.

Yuzuru giggled. “I might let you do the tying up when you’re better,” he said flirtatiously, and Javier grinned, teasingly running his hands a little far inward on Yuzuru’s thighs. “Stop that,” Yuzuru said, wiggling. He lowered his voice, leaning closer. “If you turn me on when I can’t do anything about it, I will not be happy.”

“You will just have to wait for me to heal and I can reward you for your patience,” Javier said, moving his hands back to a more reasonable spot on Yuzuru’s waist. He tipped his chin up and stole a quick kiss. “You’re so sexy, my hands just ache to stray,” he purred.

Yuzuru giggled. “So many years together and you still think I am sexy. I am doing well.”

“You’re only getting sexier the longer I’m with you,” Javier said, rubbing at Yuzuru’s sides lovingly. “I’m telling you, by the time you’re forty, we won’t be able to go out in public, you will have achieved such a high level of sexy that people everywhere are blinded-“

“Blah, blah, blah,” Yuzuru interrupted, putting a hand over Javier’s mouth. “You are a crazy man, Javier Fernandez.”

Javier grinned and started tickling his sides. “Yeah, and you’re the one who chose my crazy for the rest of your life, Yuzuru Hanyu.” Yuzuru squeaked and giggled, squirming around while Javier tickled him.

Javier was going to miss his husband while he was gone.

~

Nao, Yuzuru quickly learned, was not interested in being his friend. He respected her as his manager, but it was kind of fun to pester her. “Nao-chan, can’t we stop for Starbucks-“

“It’s _san_ to you, and no,” she said sternly, reminding him of his older sister when she didn’t want to play with him as a child. “Your schedule is very strict. You have to arrive at the rink at exactly eight forty seven-“

“But I’m so tired,” Yuzuru whined, pouting. He turned to Brian, who was on the other side of the van from them. “Brian,” he said, swapping to English. “You’re my coach, tell her I need to stop for Starbucks before I can practice!”

Brian snorted. “Yeah, the last thing you need is sugar. Just because you think you need coffee now that you’re a parent and run on less sleep, you put too much sugar in your coffee and I have a hyper brat to deal with.”

Yuzuru made a face. “It is gross without tons of sugar. Javi drinks it plain and I won’t even kiss him until he’s brushed his teeth.”

Nao swapped to English as well. “I often wonder how Hanyu-san is the parent of a child. He is like looking after a toddler for me. How is he the parent of one?”

“Unsafe sex,” Yuzuru said bluntly, just to smirk when she made a face. “When I lost my virginity, I got pregnant, because a sexy, sexy man put his-“

“Please, please, swap back to Japanese,” Brian interrupted, grimacing. 

Nao just chuckled, looking begrudgingly amused as she did as he said. “I’m aware how sex works and how babies are made. Unlike you, I’ve had more than one lover,” she said and Yuzuru made a face.

“I actually never met a boy I liked the way I liked Javi. I loved him by the time we got together, but even when I was younger, before Javi, I never met a boy that made me go ‘wow’ when I looked at him.” He grinned. “How about you, Nao-chan! Do you have a lover-“

“I have never told you before and I will never now,” she said firmly, then grinned slightly. “ _San_ ,” she reminded him. 

~

Yuzuru was by no means the worst skater at his first short program of a grand prix event in several years, but he was fourth after the short, which was the worst he had finished in a long time. 

“This is not good,” he said, looking at the scores of the other guys who finished ahead of him. He was a full six points behind the leader. “This is really not good.”

Brian rubbed his back comfortingly. “You just need to podium. You can pull it out.”

In quiet Japanese, Nao said, “Maybe if your husband had pulled out you wouldn’t be in this position,” and Yuzuru snorted, gasping out a laugh in spite of how inappropriate that comment was.

Brian looked at Nao suspiciously. “Somehow, I doubt that was something encouraging,” he said, and Yuzuru was too busy laughing to say anything. “Look, you’ll be fine. Just- just let’s go back to the hotel, you can call your kid, calm down, and tomorrow we’ll win this,” he encouraged, patting Yuzuru on the back.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a big sex scene with some story around it. Enjoy smut and ignore the lack of plot. *sigh*

“I still don’t understand why I have to be topless, Yuzuru.” Javier felt really weird sitting on the couch shirtless while he video chatted with Yuzuru. “Why do I just do whatever you ask of me?” he asked himself more than Yuzuru.

Yuzuru giggled. “Because I am sad and need encouragement and I like you naked.” He winked. “All the way naked would be better. I bet I could really win tomorrow if you showed me even more skin.”

Javier snorted. “No,” he said bluntly, chuckling. He looked down at his own body. “Not sure what this does for you, really. I’m not exactly sexy anymore.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “You are still mine. You liked me when I was post-pregnancy squishy and saggy, I like you with a soft body.”

Javier sighed, looking down at his belly. He hadn’t had abs in years, now. He was lucky he wasn’t fat yet. “Maybe I should work out and get sexy again.”

“You are sexy always, but I would not complain about your ass getting back to how big it was when you were competing,” Yuzuru said with a wiggly eyebrowed smile. “You have the biggest butt even now, but it was huge.” He sighed dreamily. “That bull fighting costume. Mmmmm.”

Javier smirked. “You always did like that matador costume and now I know why.”

“You are not the only one who likes a big butt,” Yuzuru joked. Javier could admit, he definitely liked Yuzuru’s round ass. It was one of his best features. 

“I know you can do it tomorrow,” Javier said, trying not to think dirty things when his husband needed encouragement. “You will podium. I’m sure. Mateo believes in you, too. We both love you so much.”

Yuzuru smiled sadly. “I just am worried. I have not been this low after the short since…” He seemed to think for a moment. “Worlds twenty-seventeen. I wasn’t even in the final flight of skaters for the long, I was so low after the short.”

Javier snorted, remembering that competition. “You set a new world record in the free and won it that year, Yuzuru. I think that says a lot about how this fourth place isn’t so bad.”

Yuzuru pouted. “But that was lucky. If I had a single fall I would have lost!”

Javier chuckled. “I love you,” he said, and Yuzuru smiled, blowing him a kiss.

“I love you, too,” he said warmly. He sighed, looking at Javier closely for a moment. “You really think I will still podium?”

“Absolutely,” Javier said firmly. “I know what my husband is capable of.”

~

Yuzuru came home from Russia with a silver medal and Javier just smirked at him for the whole first night he was home. Yuzuru wanted to be annoyed, but Javier was so cute it was hard to care. 

He still had celebratory sex with him even if he was annoying. 

~

On the short flight to New York for Yuzuru’s second grand prix assignment, Mateo spent the whole time telling them how all of his classmates were gonna watch his Tousan on the TV and how they all wanted to learn how to ice skate because Mateo’s parents were figure skaters and how the teacher even talked about letting them watch some videos of figure skaters as a reward if they were good. Yuzuru was kind of embarrassed but also found Mateo’s preschool very cool for that. 

“Well, Tousan better win so your friends will be happy,” Yuzuru said, kissing Mateo’s forehead. “I will skate much better knowing you and Papa are sitting in the stands watching me.”

“I can’t wait!” Mateo said, throwing his hands up in excitement, narrowly missing punching Javier in the jaw. “Tousan is so cool,” he said proudly.

Javier smiled at Yuzuru over Mateo’s head. “We’re gonna cheer really loud for you,” he promised. 

“Well, I know I won’t lose then,” Yuzuru said, leaning across Mateo to kiss Javier sweetly. 

“If you two could refrain from making out, that would be great.” They both peeked over at the middle row and saw Brian giving them a stern look while Tracy laughed on his other side. 

Yuzuru grinned. “What, like this?” he asked, then leaned in and kissed Javier a little more dramatically.

“Ew,” Brian said, and Tracy laughed again, winking at Yuzuru, who just grinned and settled back in his seat, sliding his hand into Mateo’s little hand as he looked out the window and thought about how much confidence he had for his upcoming skate.

~

“Brian is going to be so mad,” Yuzuru murmured, wrapping his arms around Javier’s shoulders. 

Javier kissed down his throat. “Do you want to stop?” he asked, hands continuing their path up Yuzuru’s thighs.

“Nope,” Yuzuru said quickly, sighing as Javier sucked at a spot low on his throat. “No mark or he will know why I’m late to breakfast,” he reminded him, and Javier chuckled against his skin. 

Yuzuru knew that having sex during competition wasn’t good, but he was so worked up about competition he needed to relieve some stress. Mateo had already gone to breakfast with Tracy, since she was an early riser and offered to take him off their hands so he could sleep a little longer, so there was nothing stopping Yuzuru from getting the good kind of ‘stress relief’ instead of meditating. 

“What do you want?” Javier asked as he curled a hand around Yuzuru’s hip, slowly pushing his boxers down. “You have practice in a few hours,” he reminded him. 

Yuzuru thought about how distracted he would be during practice if he got fucked how he really wanted it right now and could feel it every time he did a spin or jump. The last thing Yuzuru wanted was to think about how good Javier felt inside of him and get an erection at a public practice. “Damn,” he said with a pout. “I really want you to fuck me.” He held his legs up so Javier could take his boxers all the way off.

Javier chuckled and pushed Yuzuru’s legs apart, leaning down to kiss the insides of his thighs. “If you win for me, I’ll fuck you however many times you want,” he promised and Yuzuru hummed at such a pleasant thought.

“Okay, but I still want fingers,” he said, sliding a hand into Javier’s hair, tugging gently to make him come up. He hissed when Javier gave his growing erection a teasing lick on his way up. Javier kissed him, moaning as their naked bodies pressed together pleasantly. “Mmmm, Querido.”

Yuzuru rolled their hips together and got a good idea. “Fuck my thighs,” he whispered, and Javier made a happy noise. 

“I love your thighs,” he said, and Yuzuru giggled.

“I know. You like fucking my thighs almost as much as my ass,” he teased. He pushed at Javier and rolled around, getting on his knees and elbows, looking back at Javier as he wiggled his ass, putting his legs tightly together. “Don’t you want?”

Javier gave him a flirtatious smirk. “You treat me so well.”

After a little distraction in which Javier couldn’t remember where they packed the lube, Yuzuru sighed at the feeling of Javier’s big, strong hands on his ass, squeezing and kneading his muscles as he thrust into the tight old of Yuzuru’s clenched thighs. Yuzuru always found it so hot how he would occasionally feel the brush of Javier’s hardness touching his as he thrust through his legs. Long ago, Yuzuru would have never imagined he would enjoy something that wasn’t very sexually gratifying to him, but the way Javier was obsessed with Yuzuru’s thighs made Javier make some of the most arousing noises while he did this, and by the time he finished and focused on Yuzuru’s pleasure, Yuzuru was more turned on than ever by the anticipation.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Javier groaned, sliding his hands down the outsides of Yuzuru’s thighs as he thrust between them. “Do you know how gorgeous you are, Yuzuru? Your _legs_ ,” he moaned.

Yuzuru hummed happily, licking his lips. “They feel good?” he asked, and Javier sighed.

“So good,” he grunted, slapping Yuzuru on the ass. Yuzuru gasped, feeling his face flush at the sting to his butt. Yuzuru and Javier weren’t much into spanking because Yuzuru fell on his ass enough, he didn’t need more damage done to it than happened when skating, but Yuzuru did like the occasional slap to his ass. More than anything, it wasn’t even the actual physical feeling, but the fact that he knew it made his ass jiggle and Javier was turned on by that. Yuzuru really enjoyed feeling sexy. “Fuuuuck,” Javier groaned, gripping his hips as he sped up his thrusts. “Your waist is so goddamn tiny.” Javier’s hands slid from his hips to his waist, large hands curling into the curve of it. “How did you get so beautiful? Por Dios, I’m a lucky man,” he panted as he leaned over Yuzuru, hands sliding over his abs and up his chest, fingers finding Yuzuru’s nipples.

Yuzuru moaned, arching his back a little. “Says the hottest man I’ve ever see,” he said, turning his head to meet Javier’s gaze. Javier’s eyes were dark with hunger, and Yuzuru loved being the one to make them look that way. He kissed him hard and tightened his thighs even more, crossing his calves so that his knees were as tightly closes as possible. Javier moaned and thrust faster. “You are the only person who will ever get this,” Yuzuru purred, looking him in the eyes. “Nobody else will ever know how good my body feels. You get to walk around all day thinking about this and nobody will have any idea how good I was to you this morning.”

“Fuck, Yuzuru,” Javier groaned, and then he sat up and pulled out. Yuzuru turned his head in confusion, only to have his mouth water when he looked back just in time to see Javier finish himself off with a sexy grunt, spilling all over Yuzuru’s ass. Yuzuru gasped at the feeling of hot, wetness on his ass.

“Oh, Javi,” Yuzuru moaned. He started to turn around, but Javier held his hips, looking down at the mess he made of Yuzuru’s ass. He slid his fingers through the mess and Yuzuru chuckled hoarsely. “Wow, someone’s feeling kinky today,” he said, only to gasp when Javier pushed two fingers into him. Yuzuru almost came right there when he realized Javier was using his own come as lube. “Oh God,” he moaned, whining as Javier fingered him. “Jabi, ohhhhh.”

When Javier had managed to swipe up every drop of it and push it into Yuzuru, he urged Yuzuru to turn onto his back, and Yuzuru was almost so close from the sheer filthiness of Javier’s actions that it only took a few minutes of Javier putting his fingers back in while he sucked Yuzuru before he came with a high moan, back arching as he spilled down Javier’s throat. 

He collapsed and panted, fingers and toes tingling with pleasure, and Javier chuckled as he crawled up to hover over him. “You okay?” he asked, voice gravelly from use. It was painfully sexy and Yuzuru had to drag him down into a kiss. He wrapped his shaky legs around Javier, giggling when the kiss broke. “Oh no, I think I broke him,” Javier joked, and Yuzuru patted his face affectionately.

“You made me come so hard I can’t feel my fingers and toes.” Yuzuru sighed. “Also, you’re really dirty,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Javier grinned. “You liked it,” he purred before laughing and kissing him with a smack. “You made me all ‘caveman’ husband by reminded me that nobody else has ever done the things I do to your body. You bring out the worst in me.”

Yuzuru snickered. “I bring you the dirty man in your, more like it.” He pouted dramatically. “You wouldn’t like me if I had dated people before you?” he said, pretending to wipe at a tear.

Javier scoffed. “Inner caveman moments aside, I actually find it kind of weird most of the time. I used to wonder if the only reason you think I’m good in bed is because you don’t know any different. That really strikes a blow to a man’s self-esteem,” he said, and Yuzuru laughed.

“Oh my God, really?” he asked, and Javier nodded sheepishly. “You’re so silly.” He brushed a wayward curl back from Javier’s face and shrugged. “Eh, I would still want to be your husband even if you were bad at sex. I married you, not your penis.”

Javier chuckled and pecked his lips sweetly. “I know the feeling. I’m so turned on by your body because it’s yours. Pretty sure I’d be just as hot for you if you were ugly by other people’s standards.” He rubbed their noses together adorably. “Because you’re my husband, so you’re the most perfect man alive.”

Yuzuru cooed. “You’re so sappy after you have an orgasm,” he teased, then burst into laughter at the offended look on Javier’s face. “Come on, Javi. We need to take a shower. Brian is gonna be really mad at us.”

“Can’t I be lazy?” Javier sighed, flopping onto the bed with a huff.

“Nope, I have to win a medal so I have to go practice.” Yuzuru swatted him on the butt. “Come on, shower, shower, shower.”

Javier huffed. “The things I do for love.”

“Oh, I know, you have to get out of bed, how tragic,” Yuzuru said as he gathered up some clothes and went to the bathroom. Just because he knew Javier would be looking, he put a little extra sway into his hips as he walked, smirking when he heard Javier scrambling to get out of the bed and follow him. 

~

“This question is for Mr. Hanyu.” Yuzuru turned and smiled at the reporter. “What do you feel made this weekend better than your first Grand Prix assignment? You finished with seasons best scores in both programs this weekend and had the highest total score of any skater all season so far. What changed?”

Yuzuru beamed. “Well, the ice condition was really good here, but most likely it is because this is the first time my son was in the audience to see me skate,” he said fondly. “Knowing my baby was watching me made me feel confident in my ability and stay out of my head.”

“This lands you a spot in the final for the first time since twenty-sixteen. How are your nerves going into it after so long out of the sport?”

Yuzuru laughed. “I’m very confident after today’s result. The final being in Japan this year is really comforting, too. A home crowd advantage is never bad, and I owe it to my country to make them proud.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY some plot!
> 
> Time for the Grand Prix Final!

Going to Japan for the final meant that everybody would be coming to see Yuzuru skate, including Javi and Mateo. Yuzuru’s mother arrived before the competition started so that she could help Javier look after an excitable Mateo while Yuzuru was busy. 

When an unexpected and very unwelcome event occurred, Javier was glad Yumi was there to help, because if Javier had been stuck with both Yuzuru and Mateo to care for that night, it would have been really hard for him to stay calm and do what he had to do for his family. 

~

Javier woke to the feeling of shaking and the sound of Yuzuru gasping as he jerked awake. Instantly, Javier sat up just as Yuzuru cried Mateo’s name and tried to rush to the door. 

“No!” Javier shouted, scrambling out of bed in time to catch Yuzuru by the arm and drag him underneath the table.

“Javi, he’s-“

“Your mom has him, she’s keeping him safe,” he said, holding Yuzuru’s head to his chest, curling his arms around him as much as the could in the cramped space. Yuzuru was shaking almost more than the room around them was, and every time something fell, he cried out and jerked. 

Javier knew what it was that had Yuzuru so terrified. Yuzuru had barely ever brought up the disaster – as he called it – to Javier in all their time together, but Javier knew that even over a decade later, Yuzuru was still deeply traumatized by what happened to him. 

Now that he was a father, Javier could only imagine what it had been like for his parents, not knowing if their son had survived for the hours they were separated. Javier had stopped Yuzuru from running out into the hotel hallway after Mateo because he could think rationally still and knew that was dangerous, but a part of him wanted to do the same thing. 

It felt like hours before the earthquake ended even if it had to only be minutes, and by the time it was over, Yuzuru had clawed bleeding scratches into his upper arms, but Javier didn’t care, because he knew Yuzuru was reliving the worst day of his life.

Javier knew it must not have been too bad if an earthquake if the power was still on, so when he and Yuzuru came out from under the table, he gathered up shoes for both of them and grabbed jackets while Yuzuru waited by the mirror that had broken in front of the door for his shoes. Once they could walk out without getting cut, they immediately rushed across the hall for Yumi's room. 

She opened the door before Yuzuru could even start pounding on it, and instantly Yuzuru grabbed Mateo from her arms, crying into his hair. Javier saw Yumi's eyes damp with tears and wasn’t surprised when she wrapped both of them up in her arms. It had to be terrifying for her as well to relive her son being apart from her and unable to be reached.

Javier hugged all three of them, kissing Yuzuru on the top of his head. “We need to get outside,” he reminded them, and Yuzuru sniffled and nodded.

“Tousan, I was scared,” Mateo whimpered, and Javier kissed his forehead. 

“We’re all alright, Mateo,” he said, and then guided his family to the stairs like everyone else on their floor. 

When they got outside, there were people everywhere, but the street didn’t seem to have much damage. There were car alarms going off, but there were no buildings damaged and the street lamps were all still working.

As the ground started rumbling again in an aftershock, Yumi tugged them all down to crouch on the pavement to wait for it to pass. Yuzuru knelt with Mateo against his chest, his whole body shielding his child from whatever might come. Javier put a hand on the back of Yuzuru’s head and whispered reassurances to him the whole time the earth shook. 

When everything finally seemed to be over, after several more small aftershocks, the hotel manager came out and let them all know that there would be about a wait before they could go back inside just so that the building could be inspected and made sure it wasn’t in any way damaged.

“Well, the phones are working, so that’s good sign,” Yumi said, already checking in on others. 

Yuzuru still wasn’t speaking as he sat holding Mateo, who had actually fallen asleep held so close and safe in his father’s arms. Javier kissed his forehead. “It’s all okay, Yuzu. We’re safe.”

“I have never had Mateo with me during an earthquake,” Yuzuru said weakly. “I have felt a few small ones since-“ He stopped and shuddered, and Javier knew what he was remembering. “Mateo has never been in Japan with me when one happened.” Yuzuru let out a soft whimper. “I thought about not knowing where he is or if he was alive like my parents did. Or-or something happening to him but not to me.” 

Javier’s gut twisted, and he blinked back tears at the thought. “He’s safe. We all are.”

“I would rather lose all of you than him,” Yuzuru said, looking up with a terrified gleam in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why-“

Javier kissed him quickly, tasting tears on his lips. “I know,” he said simply. He knew Yuzuru didn’t mean to say it, and that it was something nobody wanted to ever admit out loud, but he knew it was true of any parents. Yuzuru was Javier’s heart and soul, and he loved their families more than words could say.

But Mateo was his _life_. 

They were still huddled together when Brian’s voice rang out. He sighed when he got to them. “Thank God! I was so worried,” he said, looking at Yuzuru. “Tracy and I came out the back side of the hotel so we didn’t know where you guys were. I figured you would be pretty freaked out.”

Javier patted Brian on the arm. “We’re alright. Yuzuru was a little shaken, but he was better once we got to Mateo,” he said, and Brian grimaced as he looked at the way Yuzuru was still holding his son close.

“Was he with Yumi?” he asked, and Javier nodded. “Poor Yuzuru,” Brian sighed. 

Javier nodded. “He’s okay though. He’s strong. He just needs some time to cling to Mateo for a little while and he’ll be fine,” he said, unable to help but admire the way that Yuzuru was protecting his son fiercely, looking as if he would fight nature itself to keep his baby safe. 

~

Because of the earthquake, practice for the final was delayed, and because of that, so many skaters didn’t get to train as much as they would like before the event began. Javier knew from texting Yuzuru that he was warming up more than usual because he hadn’t got enough time on the ice that morning to get his legs ready to go. “I really worry about him,” Javier said to Yumi, who sat beside him frowning at her phone. “He didn’t get enough sleep and he was really anxious after last night,” he said, obsessively playing with one of Mateo’s curls in his lap. 

“Last night was scary,” Mateo said, leaning his head back against his father’s chest, pouting over at Yumi. “It was all shaky. Why did that happen?” he asked, looking up at Javier. “Papa?”

Javier hugged him, smiling sadly. “Earthquakes are just something that happens in nature. We don’t have them at home because we don’t live near an area where earthquakes are common. Japan has a lot of them so people are used to it. It’s just scary every time.” 

“That was just a little one,” Yumi reassured him. “Everybody is okay and nothing got broken. Your Tousan just got scared because when he was young, there was a really bad one at home. A lot of people got hurt and a lot of houses got broken. He just gets scared of them because that was a very bad day for us,” she explained. 

“Yeah,” Javier said, ruffling his curls. “He was mostly scared because that time, he was at practice so Obaasan was at home and he was all by himself and couldn’t get home for a few hours. He was away from his parents and last night you were away from us.” He kissed his head. “He was just scared that you would be scared, I think. Because Papa and Tousan love you so much.”

Mateo giggled, smiling up at him. “I love you, too, Papa,” he said, and Javier beamed, looking at his baby’s pretty face. 

“Do you think Tousan will do better today if you tell him you love him?” he asked, and Mateo nodded excitedly, clapping his little hands together. Javier grinned and held his phone up, turning on the camera to record a message. “Tell Tousan what you just told me,” he said, and Mateo smiled at the phone.

“I love you, Tousan!” he said, then blew a big kiss to the phone. Javier grinned and immediately sent the video to Yuzuru, smiling over at Yumi as he rested his chin on Mateo’s head. She looked amused and reached out to hold Mateo’s little hand in hers. 

~

Yuzuru looked at his phone when it buzzed, and ignored Brian as he opened a video. He frowned until Mateo’s face came on the screen and Javi said, “Tell Tousan what you just told me,” and Mateo beamed at him. 

“I love you, Tousan!” 

Yuzuru smiled and put a hand to his chest, feeling so much warmth and joy in his heart as he played it over again, watching his little boy smiling and telling him he loves him. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Brian asked, and Yuzuru looked up, smiling at him.

“No,” he said honestly, then disconnected his headphones, showing Brian the video. Brian chuckled and Yuzuru just sighed, holding the phone to his chest. “I will do good for him,” he said seriously, closing his eyes. “Mateo is watching. I will win him a medal.”

Brian patted his back. “You can do anything for that kid, Yuzuru. I know better than anybody how good you are when you are determined about something. Your son is a great motivator. Just think about it. Mateo is sitting out there watching. He’s going to see you skating and he’s going to cheer for you.”

Yuzuru beamed. “I did so good last time because I knew he was watching me. I can win for him.”

“You have this,” Brian encouraged, and Yuzuru nodded, smiling as he looked back at his phone, touching his baby’s face on the screen. 

~

Javier jumped to his feet, Mateo braced on his shoulder, both of them cheering loudly when Yuzuru finished his short _beautifully_. It was exciting to see how confident he looked in his final pose, finally showing that cockiness that Javier had known in Yuzuru when they competed against each other. He had that smirk that said, ‘yeah, I did that’ as he raised his hands to the crowd before his bows. Yuzuru always had such dramatic, dainty bows. Javier looked up at Mateo, who was giggling and waving his little hands, and he turned back to see Yuzuru was waving at him from the ice and blowing him a kiss. Mateo blew one back, and clearly several people had spotted what was going on, because there were a bunch of ‘awwww’s in the crowd, and Javier just brought Mateo back down to sit on his hip since he looked shy now. 

“Tousan is amazing, huh?” he asked, and Mateo nodded with a giggle.

“He’s so cool!”

When Yuzuru’s score was announced, the crowd went wild because it was a new short world record, even with the new scoring that lowered base values, and Javier beamed when he saw Yuzuru crying into Brian’s shoulder. When he stood up and made his bows, Javier couldn’t wait to get him alone tonight after all his obligations were finished. 

~

“Fuck, you were amazing,” Javier groaned into Yuzuru’s neck as Yuzuru gave short grunts with every thrust up into him. “That costume makes me want to fuck you ever time I see it,” he panted and Yuzuru whined, legs tightening around Javier’s waist with every thrust. Yuzuru hadn’t felt this desperate in a long time as he clawed at Javier’s back and rolled his hips with Javier’s movements as best he could where he was pinned against the wall. 

“I- I know,” he panted, gasping as Javier’s change of angle drove him straight into Yuzuru’s prostate. “Ooooh, there,” he whined, tossing his head back against the wall. “You- you always like my costumes, but t-that one- Ah!” He squirmed in pleasure. “That one- oh fuck, Javi – every time you look at me in it, your eyes- uh – your eyes go all dark,” he panted.

“Because the pale colored pants show off your ass better,” Javi grunted. “Remember the purple costume? The prince program?”

Yuzuru panted out a laugh. “You- you liked it, huh?”

“God, I wanted to be single and you not to be important to me so I could hook up with you,” he confessed. “Those _pants_.”

Yuzuru moaned as Javier bit his throat and sent pleasure through his limps. “Jabi, please, I’m so close,” he whined, sobbing out in pleasure as Javier slapped his ass and then squeezed his thighs as he repositioned him on the wall and started fucking him hard and fast. Yuzuru let out a high whine of pleasure, pretty sure he had to be hurting Javier with how hard his legs were squeezing him. Yuzuru found just enough space to get his hand on his own cock, and it only took a few sloppy, restricted strokes, combined with Javier fucking him with perfect aim, before he cried out and came, body spasming between Javier and the wall as his orgasm took him. Javier _growled_ and kept thrusting until he, too, shuddered and jerked with orgasm. 

Yuzuru had a split second of panic when he felt Javier’s hold on him loosening, but Javier managed to stumble back and land on his back on the bed, Yuzuru falling onto his chest as they collapsed. 

Yuzuru panted and rested his cheek on Javier’s chest before finding enough strength in his post-orgasm weak arms to pick himself up and shift so that Javier slid out of him. He shivered and flopped onto the bed, panting like he had ran a mile at the gym as he lay beside Javier. He laughed and looked around at how they were laying across the bed the wrong direction and both their legs were hanging off the edge. “Shit,” he said, panting. “And all I did was get a new world record,” he said, and Javier laughed weakly. 

“Yeah, that’s just ‘all’.” He reached out and his hand found Yuzuru’s thigh, patting it tiredly. “God, I hope I didn’t go to rough on you. You still have to skate tomorrow.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said, grinning as he wiggled his hips and felt how sticky and gross he was, but otherwise, felt no pain, just a little tenderness. “I think we’ve got where we have so much sex lately you would have to really do a number on me to make me sore-sore. Plus, I’m skating these days, so I’m pretty much immune to most pain,” he reminded him, and Javier chuckled.

“Yeah, I never realized how used to pain I got until I’d been off skates long enough that suddenly a bruise actually hurt for a few days,” he said, shaking his head. “Our sport is ridiculous. This is why you were able to have Mateo without medication and not go into shock. This sport drives your pain tolerance so high.”

Yuzuru giggled. “Drives our libidos pretty high, too,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he rolled over and slung a leg and arm over Javier, kissing his chest. “Mmmmm, in the last six months, we’ve had more sex than we did pretty much since Mateo was born.”

Javier grinned. “A baby who sleeps all night and a husband with more energy than usual. Perfect recipe for amazing sex.” He kissed Yuzuru’s sweaty hair. “Also, I’m happy to provide you ‘stress relief’ this way any time you want.”

Yuzuru hummed, rubbing at his chest. “I felt amazing today,” he confessed. “Knowing Mateo was there, and that you were excited for me… it gave me so much motivation. I did so well today because I was skating for my son. I had full confidence in myself because Mateo would love it even if I didn’t do well, and all I thought about was making him smile.”

“That’s all you ever have to worry about, Yuzuru,” Javier said, looking into his beautiful eyes. “Tomorrow, you could end up in last, and we would still be so happy just to get to watch you on the ice. Remember that.”

Yuzuru smiled and kissed him slowly, sighing into the kiss. “I love you so much, Javier Fernandez,” he whispered. 

Javier patted his thigh and nodded. “Love you, too. Now, let’s shower and go to sleep before Brian kills me for keeping you up too late,” he said, winking as he sat up.

Yuzuru giggled and rolled his eyes. “I need it. I’m so gross,” he said, looking down at his thighs and belly with a grimace. Javier just winked and made a dirty face, earning a swat to the ass from Yuzuru as he stood up and walked away. Javi was so crazy sometimes. 

~

The morning of the final, Yuzuru woke up feeling rested, ready, and determined to win for his baby boy. He sat with his son in his lap at breakfast, chatting with all the other skaters and not even caring he was getting funny looks for bringing his kid to breakfast so Javier and his mother could sleep in some. Mateo was his reason for being here, he was the reason Yuzuru found strength to compete at his age, and he was the one that Yuzuru owed a good result to more than anybody after changing up their lives so much just so he could skate again. He didn't put Mateo through such a change to not give him a medal in exchange for supporting his father when things got tough. 

"Are you going to skate good today, Tousan?" Mateo asked as he ate some melon, and Yuzuru smiled and kissed his little face.

"I'm going to skate my very best for you, Mateo. Just for you," he said, smiling when Mateo went on eating his breakfast with a happy little smile. Yuzuru would give him a medal if he had to fight for every single point. 

~

As Yuzuru stood on the podium, receiving his first gold medal in a grand prix final since 2016, he couldn’t help but cry. He looked down at the medal on his chest and cried as he looked around in the crowd for his husband and son. When he spotted his mother, he looked to her left and waved to Mateo, who was clapping and jumping around excitedly. He bowed his head to his family in thanks, fanning himself to try to stop crying. All his hard word, all of it was done with their help, and he owed everything to them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese Nationals time!!! Lovely family chapter <3

Christmas Eve spent walking around Sendai with his husband while his family and Javi’s family convened at his house – like the previous year, but swapping countries – felt so special this year. “I can’t believe we’re here because I’m competing in nationals tomorrow,” he joked, smiling at Javi. 

“BABA!” Mateo cried when he saw his grandmother, as if he hadn’t seen her just a couple of weeks ago. 

Since Yuzuru’s family home was far smaller than Javier’s family’s home, Javier’s parents got Saya’s old room and Saya and Laura were staying at Saya’s apartment together. Because of that, the girls weren’t there yet when they arrived, too busy unpacking and getting better acquainted with each other’s habits than anything else. “Too bad my sister isn’t gay. It would be cool if our sisters got married,” Yuzuru mused and Javier snorted, kissing his husband’s hair. “We would really be one big happy family then!”

“You’re so sweet,” Javier said, hugging him close. “When is one of our sisters going to give Mateo a cousin, is the real question.”

Yuzuru beamed. “Babies!” he said excitedly. He clapped his hands. “I want a baby in the family to play with.” He looked at Mateo, cooing. “He’s so big now, I need a baby to cuddle.”

Javier felt a pang and squeezed Yuzuru’s waist. “We can adopt a baby in a couple of years,” he reassured him, and Yuzuru’s eyes softened. 

“I hope the girls have one before we have another, but I’m so happy knowing that’s just the plan for us,” he said brightly. “Adopting another one in a few years being ‘what we’re doing’, not a ‘maybe’ is so reassuring.” 

Javier smirked. “Mateo is too sweet to not be a big brother.”

Yuzuru beamed from his spot sitting beside Javier, watching Mateo playing with his grandmother. “We did good, huh?”

“Oh, definitely,” he said fondly, kissing Yuzuru’s cheek with a playful ‘smack’. 

Yumi smiled over Mateo’s head. “Oh, if your sister wants to get married, I definitely welcome more grandchildren,” she said, kissing Mateo’s curls.

Yuzuru sighed, resting his head on Javier’s chest. “I would be an amazing uncle,” he said confidently. “Javi, too,” he added, smiling so warmly that Javier couldn’t help smile.

“I can’t wait until I’m an uncle! Then you get the fun without the hard parent parts,” he said excitedly. “When they puke, I can call Laura or Saya to come get their child. When they are crying, I can hand them over. When they ask what those two dogs are doing at the park, I can tell them to ask their mother,” he said, and Yuzuru cackled, putting a hand over his face. He remembered that very well. Javier trying to explain to a toddler where puppies came from was hilarious. Mateo had no clue what he was saying and lost interest halfway into the explanation, so Javier was off the hook, but it was still the funniest thing Yuzuru ever saw. 

Yumi chuckled. “Having two is the best. Having one is good, but having two is amazing.” She smiled. “Yuzuru and Saya used to fight all the time, but the second another little boy or girl was mean to the other, they were each other’s backup,” she said with a sigh. “My babies are both adults, but having a little grandson makes it all worth it.” She rested her cheek against Mateo’s head and Javier smiled. He loved Yumi. She was such a wonderful mother and grandmother. He wasn’t surprised at all that his husband was so great having her as his primary influence. 

When their sisters joined them with Javier’s parents in tow, everything got loud and fun very fast. Yuzuru couldn’t remember ever having so many people in his childhood home, but his family had gotten used to Javier’s more boisterous family long ago, so nobody cared. Even when Javier’s mother and sister got to bickering in Spanish, nobody paid them much mind, they just kept talking around them. Family meant so much to Yuzuru and having their family all together was amazing. It hardly felt like it had been an entire year since the last time they got together. 

“We should invite Tracy and Brian over,” Yuzuru said suddenly, looking at Javier with a smile. “They are at their hotel all alone on Christmas. I’m sure they’re having fun, but they would have more fun joining the party.”

“Sure!” Yuzuru’s father said, having overheard him. “They can bring more beer!” he said, and Yuzuru laughed when Javier translated for his parents and his father raised his glass with a cheer of agreement, starting the two fathers off laughing and drinking together again, even if they could barely say two words to each other. 

Javier snickered. “I’m glad your mother is staying sober with us, because I have a feeling in another hour or two, our sisters and our other parents are going to be too far gone to be of much help,” he said, and Yuzuru snorted, looking at where Mateo was sitting between his grandmothers, preening under all of the attention. 

“I’m glad Mateo will be asleep by then, because the last thing I need is to try to explain to our son why his aunts are giggling so much and why my father is trying to speak Spanish,” he said, and Javier looked over to see that, sure enough, the dads seemed to be trying to teach each other their languages, already a bit tipsy even though they were just starting dinner. 

Javier grinned. “Our families sure know how to party,” he joked, and Yuzuru giggled and got up to go call Tracy and ask if she and Brian wanted to come join them for dinner. 

~

“You know, I can’t say I expected this,” Tracy said, sitting with Yuzuru as they watched Brian and Javier trying to show Saya and Laura the difference between a flip and a lutz in socks in the middle of Yuzuru’s family’s living room. 

Yuzuru snorted. “Javi hasn’t had more than one glass of wine with his dinner since before Mateo was born. I am not at all surprised,” he said, looking at the empty beer bottles strewn around the empty dinner table that had been consumed by everybody except himself and his mother. Javier had said he wouldn’t, but as soon as Mateo had fallen asleep, his father and father-in-law talked him into joining them and the girls. Javier’s mother had joined Yuzuru and his mother in cleaning up, but when he kept dropping dishes in the sink because he was worried about his poor husband’s voice getting louder and louder the more their fathers and sisters goaded him into drinking, they kicked him out to go sit with Tracy and watch the inevitable injuries that would come from four drunk people trying to do figure skating jumps indoors while their fathers watched and laughed, shouting drunken encouragements from the back door, where they sat out on the patio getting fresh air. 

Tracy winced when Javier slipped and fell over, and Yuzuru rolled his eyes as he reappeared behind Brian with a loud, “I’m fine!” just winking when Brian doubled over laughing at him. 

“And I thought I’d had too much wine,” Tracy said, still sipping wine as they sat there. 

Yuzuru giggled. “I’m so glad I am allergic. If I was drinking, it would not be so funny,” he said, watching his sister and Laura very seriously trying to do a ‘lutz’ in the middle of the floor. Saya fell into a chair and made a loud ‘bang’ against the floor, and he winced. “I have a sleeping three-year-old upstairs, shhh!” he hissed at her. 

Brian smiled a bit drunkenly. “Yuzuru, you seriously should be the one showing them this. I’m way too old for this crap,” he said, patting Javier on the shoulder. “I’m done, I need water,” he said, laughing as he walked towards the kitchen. 

Yuzuru rolled his eyes and shook his head when the other three shot him a hopeful look. “I have to skate tomorrow night. I am not breaking a leg because my drunken family decided to be silly.”

Javier smirked and gave him a little saucy grin. “You know, I always find how responsible you are very sexy, Querido,” he said, and Yuzuru blushed but rolled his eyes at him. 

“Oh my God, you are so drunk,” he accused, and Javier sauntered over, winking as he knelt down in front of Yuzuru, leaning his elbows on Yuzuru’s knees. “Javi, stop,” Yuzuru said in mock-seriousness.

Javier pouted. “But I just love you, Yuzu,” he said, leaning closer, batting his eyelashes at him. “Come on. Have some fun with us.”

“No,” Yuzuru giggled, smiling at his silly husband. “I really have to skate tomorrow. I cannot risk hurting myself.”

Javier leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Then maybe you need your rest. We could go to bed,” he purred, and Yuzuru knew he wasn’t the only one that heard the innuendo in Javi’s voice when somebody catcalled drunkenly. 

Yuzuru turned his head and put a finger over Javier’s lips when he tried to kiss him. “You are drunk, we have a sleeping baby upstairs, and this house is full of parents and sisters. You’re not getting anything of that sort tonight, Javier Fernandez,” he said plainly. 

“Ha! You tell him, Yuzuru!” Laura yelled from somewhere off to the left, and Javi just pouted against the finger pressed to his lips. 

“But Yuzuru, I just love you so much-“

“And you can love me all you want to after I medal this weekend,” Yuzuru giggled, leaning in to replace his finger with his lips. “If I win, maybe we can do what we did last Christmas,” he said, and Tracy snorted beside them.

“Wow, what did you do so memorable that’s specific enough?” she teased good-naturedly. 

“They got a hotel room and left the kid with the grandparents for the night!” Saya called out, though it was in Japanese, so clearly she was too drunk to realize Tracy didn’t know that. 

Yuzuru just giggled, trying to evade Javier’s kisses to his jaw and neck as he looked at her. “We went on a date,” he said with an innocent little smile that made Tracy roll her eyes.

“Yeah, right.”

~

Yuzuru smirked at Brian’s less-than-cheerful disposition at morning practice and enjoyed his time annoying him while he was hungover. Javier had been no better. He elected to stay home and nap while they had morning practice and dealt with the interviews. Nao, who just said she was glad Yuzuru didn’t decide to show up to work hungover, handled him throughout the day leading up to that night’s event. It wasn’t often that Nationals was held in Yuzuru’s hometown, so he was in high demand for interviews and meetings with all the right people. 

“You could do with some shoes with inserts,” Nao said, looking at Yuzuru as they walked to the next interview. “You’re a little short.”

Yuzuru huffed. “I am not short! I may not be tall, but for a figure skater, I am entirely normal sized.”

“I am almost as tall as you,” Nao said. “And I’m a girl.”

“Why are you mean to me?” Yuzuru teased. “I am so nice to you. I pay you well, I listen even when you won’t let me stop for a smoothie, and I call you ‘san’ even when it’s more fun to call you ‘chan’-“

“You never call me ‘san’,” she countered, smiling in spite of herself. “I’m not mean to you.”

Yuzuru faked a sniffle. “So cruel.” He caught Nao smiling and considered it a success. She was a very serious woman in regards to her job and he couldn’t help but enjoy knowing he at least tried to make her day more worthwhile. “Honestly, though,” he said softly as they walked past some cameras. “I appreciate you making this day easier for me. It’s incredibly different in the best way from when I was trying to do this alone. You’re a lifesaver.”

Nao pretended not to be pleased as she elbowed him (gently) in the ribs. “Let’s just get to your next interview.”

Yuzuru smiled and followed her, already sure she was leading him in circles just to get a moment to collect herself. 

~

Yuzuru quickly discovered that having Mateo in the audience was definitely his secret weapon. Nobody else (that he knew of) had a son they needed to impress. He wanted Mateo to be proud of his Tousan. He wanted to be his best skating self specifically for his baby boy. Even though nationals presented less of a challenge than the grand prix final, he still had Shoma, one of his top rivals, nipping at his heels, so he needed to put on the best performance of his nationals career if he wanted to remain number one. 

After the short, Shoma was in first place. Yuzuru couldn’t help but worry that Mateo would be upset with him for not winning, but of course, since he was three, all Mateo said was that his Tousan was awesome and did cool jumps. That night, Javier offered him comfort by way of a massage to relax him before the final. 

“This just feels like it’s going to end in sex,” Yuzuru said bluntly as he lay naked on his childhood bed while his husband massaged his shoulders. Their baby was sleeping with their sisters that night – kidnapped by his aunts to be cuddled, more aptly – so they had ‘their’ room to themselves. Javier had offered a massage to help loosen him up, but as he lay naked face down on his bed, he could only imagine this was going to end with straying hands. 

Javier chuckled. “You doubt me, Yuzuru,” he said, still working on his aching shoulders. “I take your success very seriously.

As Javier’s hands strayed down his waist, Yuzuru hummed. “And my success rides on you fondling my naked body?” he asked with a teasing lilt to his voice. 

Unsurprisingly, Javier’s voice had a horny huskiness to it when he said, “I’m just massaging your muscles, Querido. Sore core muscles are a serious problem.” 

Yuzuru gasped slightly as Javier’s hands brushed his hips. “You know,” he mumbled. “My glute muscles have a lot of tightness you should work out,” he said, biting his bottom lip. “I always skate better when I’m very _loose_ and relaxed down there.”

Javier groaned softly before his hands slid down to start kneading his glutes. Yuzuru smirked as he heard Javier’s breath hitch with each rub of his ass. Massaging his ‘glutes’ meant giving Javier a repeated glimpse of his hole, and Yuzuru was almost used to a certain type of ‘stress relief’ before competitions at this point. He performed best when his husband got him off. If it took seducing Javier during a massage, so be it. “Mmmmm. Javi,” he moaned, rocking his hips a bit to simultaneously press into the massage of his butt and rock his growing erection against the sheets. “More,” he demanded.

Javier grunted as he rubbed the back of Yuzuru’s thighs, thumbs brushing him seductively. “I- I really should focus on your muscles,” he said and Yuzuru smirked. 

“Or,” he purred, rocking against the sheets some. “You can use your fingers for something better.”

Much to Yuzuru’s surprise, Javier didn’t lose it and fuck him senseless. Instead, he truly did devote himself to Yuzuru’s pleasure, and he put his fingers to the exact use Yuzuru had suggested. After he was finished with that, Yuzuru lay on his back, panting through his post-orgasm exhaustion. He reached out for Javier, but Javi stopped him with a kiss.

“Sleep,” he whispered, tucking Yuzuru in. “I’m okay, you just sleep.” 

Yuzuru fell asleep in his bed begrudgingly, not wanting to admit that he’d accepted an orgasm from his husband and left him hanging to go deal with it on his own. Yuzuru liked a mutually satisfying sexual relationship, so ‘bonus’ orgasms always made him want to make it square between him and his husband. He was lucky that Javier was just as hardheaded as him, because otherwise, chances were neither of them would ever get around to everyday, necessary things. 

Yuzuru slept fitfully in his lonely bed until Javier, seeing that Yuzuru was clearly missing someone to cuddle with after sex, moved the futon until it was up against the side of the bed and reached up to find Yuzuru’s hand, tangling their fingers together on the side of the bed so that they could both get some much-needed sleep knowing the other was there beside them. 

~

The next day, Yuzuru accepted his silver medal without too much bitterness, because when he looked into the stands, his entire family was cheering for him, all together for the first time ever, and he couldn’t imagine a different colored medal would have made the moment any more precious to him than it was now. A silver was nothing to be ashamed of, a slot for his third Olympic games was exactly what his goal here was today, and watching his son sitting on his Abuelo’s shoulders as they cheered for him while the rest of the family stood around them was far more special than a higher step on a podium ever could be.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter full of plot to make up for the bad few chapters I gave before.

Yuzuru’s training for Four Continents got derailed a little bit by the Hanyu-Fernandez household being hit by a two-week round of the flu. Yuzuru got the flu shot every year, but when Mateo got it, and just as he was recovering, Javier got it, Yuzuru had a bad feeling about his chances. Sure enough, just as Javier was recovering, Yuzuru found himself curled up in bed with a fever and the chills and even muscle cramps worse than training in hot weather. Tracy came over once to make sure he wasn’t dying, because Javier was fairly sure Yuzuru was more ill than Mateo had been. 

“Stupid body,” Yuzuru whined in pain as Javier dabbed at his forehead with a cloth wet with cold water. Tracy watched from the doorway with a cringe. “Why am I so weak, Jabi?” he whimpered, his voice weak. 

Javier shushed him, using his free hand to catch Yuzuru’s and hold it to his chest. “You’re okay, Querido.”

Yuzuru turned his head into the pillow some and tears leaked from his eyes. “My body is so fragile.”

“Your immune system is fragile, Yuzuru,” Tracy said comfortingly. “Your body is very strong. Your legacy as a skater is proof of that.”

Javier chuckled. “The fact you gave birth to a baby without pain medication, as a man, is definitely proof your body is strong, Yuzuru. You just have a tendency to get sick.”

“I feel worse than I ever do before,” Yuzuru said, his throat scratchy. “I have had the flu before, but it was not this bad.”

“That’s definitely the baby-strain,” Tracy said with a sympathetic smile. “If you catch it from a kid, chances are it’s a nasty one. Children pass it around at school and it mutates into a monster of a virus. You had the shot, so you had to have a whopper going around to still get sick. I’ve had it happen to me. The kids give you a worse virus than you would get from other adults.”

Javier nodded. “I never get sick and I was in his position a few days ago. I was even whinier though,” he confessed.

Yuzuru laughed weakly, smiling even more shakily. “Javi was a bigger baby than Mateo and he got better faster than Mateo did.”

Javier pursed his lips. “The fact he’s complaining at all worries me,” he said to Tracy. “Yuzuru suffers in silence. He doesn’t complain when he hurts, and look at him.” He leaned over and pressed his lips to Yuzuru’s forehead, wincing when he pulled back. “He’s so hot,” he murmured.

“Just keep him drinking,” Tracy said with a shake of her head. “If his fever gets higher than is safe, I’d take him to the doctor, but if it stays in a reasonable range, just keep him drinking. As sick as he is, the trip to the doctor might make him worse than anything they can do for him.”

“He’s been drinking the same stuff we bought for Mateo when he first got sick,” Javier said and then smirked. “He’s been eating the ice pops, too,” he said, and Yuzuru looked guilty. 

“The pediatrician said they have the same rehydrating balance as sports drinks, but without chemicals,” he defended.

Tracy shook her head. “Poor Yuzu. Hey, if it works, it works,” she said fondly. 

Javier stroked Yuzuru’s sweaty forehead. “I wish it wasn’t so much worse for him than it was me. I felt like death warmed over, but he can barely stand.” 

“I hate feeling helpless,” Yuzuru whispered tiredly. “I am just lucky I have Javi,” he murmured, eyes fluttering tiredly. “Mmmm, I think I should sleep, Javi.”

Javier nodded, leaning over to kiss his forehead before replacing the cool cloth. “Okay, you get some rest, Querido. I’m going to check on Mateo and talk to Tracy about covering my lessons again.”

Yuzuru whined. “No, Javi, don’t. You go to work. I’ll be fine. Mateo can go with you and watch.” Javier hummed doubtfully, but Yuzuru nodded his head. “Go, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll think about it,” Javi promised, getting up to go out and speak with Tracy. 

When they got out into the living room, Tracy smiled. “Poor thing,” she said. “You’re doing a good job being the doting dad and husband, though.”

Javier groaned. “I’m exhausted,” he admitted. “I really don’t think I can go teach my class at all. I’m too tired to do a good job no matter what Yuzuru says.”

She nodded. “I’ll cover for you, it’s fine. Just take care of our boy,” she said, nodding at the bedroom. “Four Continents is two weeks out. Those Japanese skaters and their insistence they skate it even though nobody else booked for the Olympics really bothers,” she said, and Javier grinned.

“Yuzuru skipping a competition voluntarily, that’s a sight we’ll never see.”

~

Four Continents, Yuzuru decided, was not his competition. He had never won it. He had silvers and bronzes under his belt, but he had never got a gold. 

It didn’t look like he would this year. He looked at the scores with Brian at his side and deflated when he saw himself fall into fourth place. “You’re just still recovering from the flu,” Brian reassured him. “You were in bed for a week and still coughing and wheezing all last week. You will do better when you build your strength back up before the Olympics.”

“It doesn’t change what’s happening today,” Yuzuru said dejectedly. “I just feel so tired,” he admitted. “Like resting isn’t really helping,” he clarified. 

“You were really sick,” Brian reassured him. “Finish up this weekend, and then tomorrow, don’t worry about it anymore. Whatever happens happens. We’ll focus on the Olympics next month instead.

~

Javier felt bad for Yuzuru. He had finished his lowest in a long time at Four Continents. A seventh place finish made a lot of people start talking about how he might be hurt, or that he might just be done, or perhaps that his grand prix season had been a fluke altogether. It was really weighing on Yuzuru. He had such a triumphant return in the fall, so to have his silver at nationals and then now his off-podium finish at Four Continents call his ability into question was really worrying him. 

Though Yuzuru was still doing well at practice and still able to focus, especially after his recovery from a really nasty illness, he wasn’t mentally in the best place. He was highly stressed. He was sleeping poorly, having bad dreams because of sleeping poorly, and he was irritable because of all the stress. He trained as much as Brian would let him and he refused to listen when people told him to rest. 

In the end, he decided to do what he and Yuzuru had talked about a while ago in Japan and didn’t get a chance to do in the end: go out on a nice, romantic weekend and spend whole weekend worry free. Brian agreed to cover his classes for Saturday and Sunday, Tracy volunteered to keep Mateo for the weekend, and Javier set to planning a little getaway for them. 

Shockingly, he hadn’t thought about the fact Yuzuru wasn’t going to want to want to take a weekend off. “What is wrong with you?!” Yuzuru said, hands on his hips as Javier packed their bags. “You are crazy! I have to train-“

“Well, Brian is booked up this weekend whether we go or not, so you won’t be doing that here,” he said simply, smirking when he heard Yuzuru cursing in Japanese and stomping around angrily. He needed a getaway bad. Yuzuru was becoming a real brat the more stressed he got. Javier just hoped this weekend was nice and relaxing and didn’t end in divorce. 

“I really don’t know why I like you sometimes,” Yuzuru called from the bathroom, and Javier chuckled even as he winced. 

He decided he should also be worried the weekend would end in him ‘disappearing on a hike’, Yuzuru was so mad. 

~

Yuzuru knew he was being a brat, but he was unhappy with the whole arrangement Javier had planned without his consent. He knew he needed a break, but he didn’t do ‘relaxation’ much. “We have been driving for two hours and we are in the middle of nowhere,” Yuzuru groused, looking out the window as even more trees passed. 

“I thought a nice, relaxing weekend vacation surrounded by nature would be nice,” Javier said patiently, which only made Yuzuru more annoyed. He hated when Javier refused to argue with him when he was in a bitchy mood. He knew rationally it was a blessing he had such a calm, wonderful husband, but sometimes a man just needed to argue with somebody. Arguments were a healthy part of any relationship as long as it was a little bickering match, not a big fight like they had last summer over Mateo’s birthday. 

“I hate nature,” Yuzuru complained. 

Javier snorted out an amused laugh. “You liar, you love nature. Your favorite place in Madrid is a massive park.”

Yuzuru sighed and slumped in his seat. It was true. Javier knew he loved nature. “This is just so stupid, Javier Fernandez. I’m not a child, you shouldn’t be making choices without me-“

“I’m treating my very, very stressed out husband to a relaxing, hopefully romantic weekend,” Javier interrupted. “You’re upset because you are stressed. A weekend of no responsibilities, no training, no practice, no nothing, and you will be so much better.” He reached out and put a hand on Yuzuru’s thigh and Yuzuru wanted to smack it off, but that would mean uncrossing his arms where he was petulantly crossing them over his chest. “I love you more than anything, Yuzuru, but you are driving me and everybody around you _crazy_.”

Yuzuru gritted his teeth, because he _hated_ admitting he was wrong even when he knew it. And this time he was definitely wrong to be so childish about his husband being sweet to him. He just felt so anxious and needed to train. He didn’t want the admittedly very, very much needed relaxation. He wanted to work harder. 

“Look at me, please,” Javier said and Yuzuru forced himself to look at him, giving up an inch of his childishness. Javier glanced over at him before turning back to the road and smiled. “If you honestly, truly believe, deep down and in your heart, that I’m doing this to hurt your training, or if you believe honestly that this is a bad idea and you will hate this whole weekend, tell me now, and I will turn around, we’ll skip the whole thing, and I will help you train jumps all weekend.”

Yuzuru was so tempted to say yes. He knew that Javier meant it, too. Javier would never do anything to hurt Yuzuru, and if Yuzuru really, truly couldn’t stand the idea of a weekend away, he would give up and take them home. But Yuzuru also knew that _he_ was the one being unreasonable and ungrateful towards his husband. 

He sighed, leaning his head against the window. “Well, you already paid for the reservation,” he begrudgingly mumbled. “We aren’t exactly wealthy, so we may as well not waste it.”

When he looked over, Javier was smirking knowingly as he drove. “Oh yeah, this was a very expensive weekend. I only went with it because I got a discount by booking the whole package, they had openings this weekend because of weather cancelations so they gave me a good deal, and I _really_ love you and want you to be in your best mental health leading up to the Olympics.” 

Yuzuru couldn’t help but feel guilty for being such a child, so he reached down and curled his hand around Javier’s on his leg, even if he couldn’t bring himself to use his words to apologize. 

~

When they left the road and turned onto a private drive, passing through a fancy gate, Yuzuru sat up a little straighter. “Javi, exactly how nice is this place?” he asked, only to gasp when they rounded a bend and he saw the resort. “Oh my God, it’s beautiful,” he said in spite of himself, then blushed when he heard Javier chuckle triumphantly. 

“It was some rich guys hunting lodge two hundred years ago or something, according to the website,” Javier offered. “That’s why it’s so historic looking.”

Yuzuru watched with wide eyes as the drove up to the beautiful stone building’s awning-covered entrance and a valet came out to meet them. He looked over at Javier and blushed as he said, “Okay, maybe this weekend is a good idea,” and then got out of the car before Javier could tease him. 

When they got to the front desk, a woman was waiting for them in a nice blazer, looking very official. “Ah, Mr. Fernandez, we’ve been expecting you. I trust your drive wasn’t too snowy,” she greeted. 

Yuzuru looked at Javier, who just smiled pleasantly. “No worse than usual this time of year,” he said, offering her his ID. Yuzuru looked around the big, fancy lobby, decorated to look rustic yet very expensive as well. He could imagine this wasn’t a cheap resort at all. 

“Mr. Hanyu, can I take your coat for you, Sir?” He startled a bit and then smiled at the man who came to stand beside him. 

“Oh, sure, thank you,” he said, shrugging off his coat. He was really surprised by this level of service. Javi really must have gone all out for him. He felt even worse about how whiny he had been about the trip. He looked over at Javier, admiring his jawline, and decided he would definitely give him a nice ‘surprise’ later on. He smirked, thinking about the fact they were at a resort, not at home with a toddler down the hall. As much as Javi was probably paying for this trip, nobody would complain at all. 

When Javier was finished checking in, the woman came around the desk and led the way. “If you follow me, Gentlemen, I’ll lead you to your room.” Yuzuru fell into step with Javier, looking back at the porter dealing with their bags and coats, and smiled apologetically at Javier as he slid his hand into Javi’s. Javi just grinned and squeezed, looking smug about being right. 

The resort wasn’t very large, but she pointed out the restaurant with its private dining options for couples, the lounge outside the spa that would be where they had their couples package Javi had apparently booked already, a large window beyond which there was a ‘hot spring’ pool that was steaming hot even as the patio and landscaping around it was covered in snow, and she led them up a broad staircase to where the suites were. Yuzuru had stayed in a ton of hotels before, but this was clearly a romantic getaway, not a normal hotel. Their room key was a real key, for one, and the ‘room’ was a cozy suite. As soon as they walked in, she gestured ahead of her and said, “We had your arrival time down, so someone has already lit the fire for you,” and sure enough, when they followed her step, they had a little sitting area with a cozy fire going. “The bedroom is through there, and if you need anything, feel free to call down to the front desk,” she said, handing Javier the key. “Have a pleasant stay,” she said, and then left them. 

Yuzuru walked to the door to the bedroom and looked in and felt his cheeks heat when he saw there were _roses_ laying on the pillows of the bed. He walked over to look in the bathroom and saw the bathtub was large enough for two and there was already a ice bucket of champagne and a dish of strawberries waiting beside the bathtub. “This is just too much,” he mumbled, though his stomach fluttered pleasantly as he walked back out to the main room. 

“Thank you, I’ve got it from here,” Javier said, taking their bags and coats – since they only had two small overnight bags and their two coats – and put them inside the door. He looked at Yuzuru and smirked. “Admit it, I did good,” he accused, and Yuzuru rolled his eyes, blushing.

He walked over to Javier and slid his arms around his waist silently. He hugged him and rested his chin on Javier’s shoulder. Javier hummed and hugged him back, kissing his hair in a way that made Yuzuru feel the love coming from him. Yuzuru shivered and turned to whisper in Javier’s ear, “The bathtub is big enough for two.” Javier pulled back some to look at him and raise an eyebrow, but Yuzuru just smirked and pulled out of his arms, backing away as he unzipped his sweater and seductively let it drop off his shoulders and fall to the floor. He turned at the doorway and pulled his shirt off, swaying his hips as he walked towards the bathroom. 

“Shit,” he heard Javier mutter, and he smiled, continuing his way to the bathtub. By the time he heard Javier stumbling around to get undressed, he already had the water running and was casually eating a strawberry while he waited for the tub to fill. He saw there were a few different scented bath soaps and picked a pleasant, lavender scented one. He poured some into the water and then watched it foam up. He stepped into the water and sat down, sighing as he relaxed into the warm water. He closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment until he heard a soft gasp. 

He smirked slowly and stretched luxuriously, raising one long, slender leg out of the water, stroking his thigh. “Mmmm, warm,” he purred, and then giggled when he heard Javier’s breath hitch. 

“I take it I’m forgiven for dragging you out here?” Javier asked, and Yuzuru opened his eyes, biting his lip seductively when he saw Javier standing there, naked, looking at him with longing in his eyes. 

“You’ll be more forgiven if you get in here,” Yuzuru purred. 

Javier chuckled and walked over, climbing into the tub. He slid down into the water, and Yuzuru wasted no time ducking under his arm and leaning against his chest. Javier pulled him close and kissed his hair. “This is nice, huh?” he mused and Yuzuru nodded.

“Maybe, I’ve been kind of bitchy,” he admitted, rubbing a hand back and forth across Javier’s chest, his wet fingers sliding across solid muscle and dark hair.

“I wouldn’t say ‘bitchy’,” Javier said, rubbing warm, solid fingers up and down Yuzuru’s waist under the water. “Just very, very stressed and moody.” Yuzuru closed his eyes when he felt a warm kiss to his forehead. “I know my husband,” he said confidently. “I knew you would be happy to be here when we finally arrived.”

Yuzuru sighed. “I realized about halfway here I was being unreasonable,” he confessed. “You know I just hate admitting to being wrong,” he whined.

“I know,” Javi said, and Yuzuru smiled. He was lucky to have Javi. He bit his lip and slid his hand from Javier’s chest, down his stomach, and even lower. Javier’s breath hitched some, but Yuzuru just bit back a smile as he teasingly used his hand to get Javier hard. “You don’t wait around, huh?” Javier said, voice a little hoarse as his erection hardened in Yuzuru’s hand. 

Yuzuru turned and kissed Javier’s neck. “I’m saying, ‘Sorry’,” he whispered, and then moved to straddle Javier’s lap, looking down into his big, warm eyes with a smile. “Because my wonderful husband decided to treat me and I didn’t show the proper gratitude at first,” he said, slowly rubbing his hips against Javier as he stroked him. “I’m very, very grateful now,” he whispered, and Javier turned his head to kiss Yuzuru, groaning softly as he cupped Yuzuru’s waist and kissed him back with passion. 

Yuzuru really, really was lucky to have such a wonderful, doting husband. 

~

After a wonderful bath, a candlelit dinner in total privacy that was delicious, a night sleeping in the biggest bed Yuzuru had ever been in, and waking up to breakfast delivered to their sitting area so that they could lounge naked and feed each other in front of the fire, Yuzuru thought their weekend away couldn’t get any better. However, after a couples massage and a long time lazing around in the hot spring pool, Yuzuru was pretty sure he was actually more relaxed than he ever had been in his life. 

“I am a Yuzuru shaped pile of Jello,” Yuzuru moaned as he oozed back into their room and flopped into one of the chairs by the fire. 

Javier slid into the seat beside him and grinned. “I know the feeling,” he said, reaching out to lace their fingers together. “Massages are fantastic when it’s not sports massage.”

“I’ve never had a massage for relaxation, not muscle health,” Yuzuru said, smiling at the memory of how nice it felt. “Well, you’ve given me massages, but that’s always foreplay. Hard to relax when you’re teasing me,” he added. 

“Well, I hope you don’t want sex right now. I am too relaxed to even imagine getting hard,” Javier said, and Yuzuru giggled with a warm smile.

“I want to cuddle and nap,” he decided, looking at the stretch of floor in front of the fireplace. “Right there. Like a big kitty.” Yuzuru grabbed a pillow off the couch and oozed his way onto the thick, soft carpet in front of the fireplace. Javier lowered himself less dramatically to lay beside him, and they did exactly what Yuzuru wanted, curled around each other and fell asleep. 

~

Their last night at the resort, Javier and Yuzuru enjoyed a round of athletic, loud, highly satisfying sex, making so much noise Yuzuru’s throat hurt when he woke up in the morning. When he pouted playfully about Javier making him scream until his throat hurt, Javier apologized by making sweet, slow, tender love to him in mid-morning sun, positively worshipping Yuzuru’s body until he almost cried from the amount of love Javier had for him. 

They had one more delicious, private, romantic meal before the checked out to head home. The whole ride home, Yuzuru kept smiling and looking over at Javier, butterflies taking up residence in his stomach. Javier just looked smug as hell, which only made Yuzuru smile harder. Four and a half years together, and Yuzuru still didn’t know how he got so lucky. As much as he hadn’t wanted a romantic weekend to take time out of his training, he had needed it so much. He felt better than he had in ages now. He felt relaxed and determined, and somehow Javier knew exactly what he needed even if he didn’t. Javier knew him better than he knew himself, and it was part of what made him the best husband in the world. 

Yuzuru felt very centered and focused, and it was all thanks to the man driving their borrowed car with a smug look because he knew damn well exactly what Yuzuru was thinking about. Javier Fernandez was truly the best thing to ever happen to Yuzuru, and more than ever, he was determined to make the Olympics worth all the stress he had put Javier through to get him there. He was going to win that medal for his husband, and with a relaxed body and cleared mind, he felt more confident than ever in his ability to do so.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to make your minds explode!!!!
> 
> Also, I'm sorry to say, this fiction is almost over. Just one more chapter after this one, but I promise, it will be one you will enjoy!

Though Yuzuru’s family was going to go with them to the Olympics, it was a much different sort of competition. Yuzuru would be in the athletes village, isolated from everybody besides his coaching and training staff. He wouldn’t get to see Mateo at all for the duration of the games except when he waved to him in the crowd at practices and at the competition. Javier knew it upset him, so he came to Brian with an idea of a way that might help keep him calm and relaxed. 

Brian looked at him doubtfully. “You want me to hire you on as one of Yuzuru’s trainers so you can be with him in restricted areas,” he said, and Javier nodded seriously.

“Yes.” He sighed. “Look, Brian, you know that being kept away from Mateo for the week and a half we will be there will be hard enough for him. He will need me.” 

Brian snorted. “The worst part of all of this, is that I’m pretty sure you’re right.” He waved a hand. “Fine, I’ll get the paperwork ready. It’s two weeks out, so hopefully you won’t get rejected by the IOC,” he warned him.

Javier shook his head. “As long as we try,” he said, already thinking about how Yuzuru would fare alone after all the stress he had been under. He needed Javier there to distract him from being kept away from Mateo. This was the event Yuzuru came out of retirement for, and the stress was massive. He needed a good support base for this event if he was going to do well. 

~

Javier got approved to be on Yuzuru’s support staff, so he first flew to Japan with Mateo to deliver him to Yuzuru’s family, who would all be making the trip to Beijing for the games. When he left early to arrive in Beijing the same time as Yuzuru and Brian, he found a Yuzuru who was already anxious to the point of being ill. He was so nervous it was upsetting. “You’re going to be great, Yuzuru,” Javier soothed one night, but Yuzuru couldn’t sleep. 

“I don’t remember him ever being like this,” Brian said as they watched Yuzuru shaking as he paced back and forth. They weren’t even ready for practice to start, they were just getting acquainted with the rink while preparing for the usual drug tests and official instructions. 

Javier was worried, too. “I’ll talk to him,” he said, already trying to think of what encouragement he could give his husband, as terrified as he was. That night, Yuzuru tossed and turned until Javier wrapped his arms around him and held him down. Then he started _crying_ because he was so scared of failing everyone. It was a really bad night for Yuzuru. 

The way he responded to stress had never been this way before, and Javier could only hope Yuzuru wasn’t injured and hiding it. He knew Yuzuru wouldn’t tell him this close to the competition, so he carefully watched how he moved. He didn’t _seem_ injured, but he was definitely acting strangely. He sat Yuzuru down after they ate one night and asked him point-blank. “Yuzuru, are you hurt? Are you sick? What is the matter with you lately?”

Yuzuru shook his head. “I’m fine. I just feel so anxious,” he confessed. “Ever since Four Continents, and being sick, I just feel so bad,” he said with a frown. He slid his hands into Javi’s, playing with Javier’s ring absently. “Our weekend away helped so much, but I still don’t feel okay mentally. I’m so nervous. I haven’t been this nervous about competing since I had that foot injury back before Boston and thought I could be ending my career just to try and medal,” he said. “But I’m fine! I’m not hurt, I have no reason to be so anxious. It’s like my brain wants me to skate badly,” he complained. 

Javier frowned, reaching up to cup Yuzuru’s neck comfortingly. “Is it like anxiety? Like, do you feel anxious about things you shouldn’t be afraid of? Or is it related just to skating?”

“It’s just the skating,” Yuzuru said, shaking his head. “I thought this, too, I thought maybe I was developing anxiety issues, but I’m not needlessly anxious, it’s realistic fears. I’m so scared that I’m going to do badly and embarrass Mateo and have wasted all of Brian’s time and put stress on our family for nothing, and-“

“Hey, hey,” Javier interrupted, watching his cheeks redden as he got more animated. “Don’t be worried about that,” he said, brushing a thumb over his cheek. “You have no reason to be so worried. If you fall every single time you jump and come in last place, we will still be so proud of you,” he said seriously. “Brian would never regret training you again. I won’t ever say this was all for nothing. Mateo will love you and be proud of you no matter how good or bad you do, because you are his favorite person in the whole world,” he urged. 

Yuzuru smiled faintly. “I’m not sure, you might be his favorite.”

“Never,” Javier said with a grin. “It’s going to be fine. You’re Yuzuru Hanyu. I have more faith in you than I have in anybody else in the whole world,” he said warmly.

Yuzuru smiled brighter, his eyes scrunching up. “I’m so glad you are here,” he said sweetly, leaning their foreheads together. “I would be going crazy without you here to calm me down. Brian tries, but you’re kind of special in a way he isn’t.”

“I sure hope so, because if you’ve been sneaking around on me with someone that old, I’ll definitely have to kill myself,” Javier joked, and Yuzuru let out a honking laugh, throwing his head back. 

“Oh my God, Javi.”

“I’m serious! I know I’m not aging that well, but I’m a lot younger and more attractive – hopefully – than a man old enough to be your father!”

“You’re so crazy,” Yuzuru said, giggling as he leaned in to peck Javier’s lips. “I love you.”

Javier smiled, bumping their foreheads together again. “I love you too, Querido.”

Later that night, when Javier was almost asleep, he felt a warm hand curl around his wrist, and Yuzuru whispered, “I can do anything as long as you’re here, Jabi.” He felt a soft kiss to his forehead and he smiled without opening his eyes as Yuzuru laid his head on Javier’s chest and went to sleep. 

~

“I’m here with Yuzuru Hanyu, the man everyone is talking about,” the interviewer said as Yuzuru bowed to the camera from his chair. “Yuzuru, the figure skating competition has already begun for the ladies and for the pairs, but tomorrow night, you take to the ice in the short at your third Olympic games. How are you feeling at this point?”

Yuzuru smiled brightly. “I’m feeling great! I’m a little nervous, but that’s just because I’ve got some fantastic competitors here.” 

He nodded. “Now, you came out of retirement this year without warning. Was your goal these games?”

“Yes,” Yuzuru said more seriously. “My coach came to me and said he thought I could still skate at the top level even with a long retirement, and I couldn’t find a reason to not try. I didn’t retire because I was done skating, I retired because my life went in a different direction, and I wanted one more season and one more Olympics to settle things on my own terms.”

The interviewer looked intrigued. “Does that mean that this is your real, final season?”

Yuzuru shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel good and there is no reason to not continue beyond this season, but my intention was one more season. If I come out of this competition and go to Worlds and then decide to keep skating, I may do another season, or two more seasons,” he said, smiling. “But for now, my goal has been a third Olympics and that’s where my focus will remain until these games are over.”

“You’re twenty-seven years old, far from the oldest competitor in history, but the oldest competitor here this week in the men’s field. How does it feel to be the most experienced guy in the field for the first time?” he asked.

Yuzuru chuckled. “It’s different. When I was skating before, I was competing against many older skaters. This time around, there guys who were juniors when I retired that are now right up there with the best of us. And though I’m still in good shape, I’m not young. I get more aches and pains than I ever did before. I have my work cut out for me.”

“You’re coming off of a surprising disappointment at Four Continents. How did that affect you coming into the Games?”

Yuzuru grimaced. “I had a very bad case of the flu not two weeks before Four Continents and though I’m not using it as an excuse, I think it’s a real factor in my disaster there. I was physically recovered, but I was not ready for such a big competition. I really should have withdrawn, but I’m stubborn,” he said with a sheepish giggle. “It hurt me mentally to do so poorly, especially since this season I’ve really pushed myself with the thought that my son is watching, and knowing he watched me fail so badly was crushing,” he said, putting a hand on his chest. “I felt bad for letting him down more than anything.”

“Is he watching you this week?” he asked, and Yuzuru beamed. 

“He is! My parents came and he’s with them. They’re going to be in the stands watching me and I’m so excited. He got to come see me at Skate America and at Nationals, and having him there made me so confident,” he all but gushed. “Win or lose, performing live in front of my family is a reward of its own.”

“Well, Yuzuru, hopefully you’ll give to give your son a good show, win or lose,” he said, and Yuzuru beamed and nodded.

“Thank you.”

~

Before the short, Javier rubbed Yuzuru’s back as he puked up everything he had eaten that day and sobbed about how he wasn’t good enough and Mateo would be ashamed of his Tousan. Javier had never seen Yuzuru have such a breakdown, but Tracy seemed to suggest it had happened before as she reassured him that any time he had been stressed in the past, he came out a winner. 

He didn’t finish the short program in first, but his third was only half a point behind second and two points behind first, so Javier knew he still had a shot. He trembled with nervous energy through all the post-skate interviews and, after such an emotionally taxing day, crashed hard when they got back to his room. They only managed a short phone call with Mateo before Yuzuru fell asleep. Javier sat awake a little while longer, stroking Yuzuru’s hair as he looked at the bags under his husband’s eyes. Yuzuru’s anxiety was killing him, and Javier honestly wanted the Olympics to be over regardless of caring for the outcome. He wouldn’t care if Yuzuru failed miserably, he just wanted this to end. Yuzuru wasn’t in good shape mentally and it was breaking Javier’s heart to watch him suffer. 

However, he understood why this mattered so much. Yuzuru was Yuzuru Hanyu, and he was not a man who half-assed anything. He committed to being the best at whatever he attempted, even if it killed him. Javier loved him for who he was, but he also hated watching him struggle. Yuzuru was his husband, and being unable to help his husband hurt Javier more than anything. As he watched Yuzuru get some much-needed sleep, he hoped beyond all hope that Yuzuru did well in the free tomorrow night. Yuzuru deserved to be his best self after all the hard work he put into this competition. 

~

Yuzuru was more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life the morning of the free skate. He was late to practice already because he couldn’t stop throwing up when he got up. He had been struggling with nerves for weeks leading up to the Olympics, but since he got there, it was unbearable. His stomach was constantly in knots. He could barely breathe for the anxiety playing around in the back of his mind, all his doubts attacking him in a way he had never felt before. He felt so sure he was going to lose and nobody could change his mind. 

As he approached the doors to the rink, ready to go out onto the ice for morning practice, Brian caught up with him, Nao surprisingly at his side. “Yuzuru,” he said, looking at him with a worried frown. “Uh, we’ve been asked to bring you to the testing center to be retested.” Yuzuru jaw dropped. “Yuzu, is there something you want to tell me?” Brian asked, and Yuzuru shook his head rapidly. “I know you’ve been acting strangely, or else I’d never entertain the thought-“

“No! Brian you know I’m not doping!” he said quickly. He turned on his heel. “Let’s hurry, there has to be a mistake.” Yuzuru couldn’t imagine what could have gone wrong. He wasn’t even taking anti-nausea medications for the way his nerves were making him sick lately. 

Brian seemed relieved. “I was worried there, Yuzuru. I would never expect it but you are older and with how you’ve been acting lately, I worried maybe you cracked under the pressure-“

“No, I do not want to win unfairly. Let’s go straighten this out.” Yuzuru swung his skate bag onto his shoulders. “Nao-chan, make sure nobody is starting rumors, okay? I don’t want distractions if I can help it.”

“On it,” she said, immediately pulling out her phone. “Any idea what could have caused a need for a re-test? Any illnesses you’ve suffered besides the flu? If you’re on certain medications, I could check for false-positive potential and have a story ready to go if it gets out.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “Just regular supplements, and only the kind approved by the ISU and the IOC.”

She nodded. “I’ll get a list of them from your husband and start checking things up.”

Brian put a hand on Yuzuru’s back, rubbing his shoulders as his breath started to audibly quicken. “It’s okay. Just relax. It’s a mistake, or a messed up sample. Maybe they just spilled yours and need another. It’s fine.”

“Anything that showed up in a urine sample wrong can be proven wrong with a blood test,” Yuzuru said confidently, even if he didn’t feel confident at all. He knew he wasn’t doping, but if something had happened completely off the wall, like someone drugging his food to sabotage him, it would only mean he was right about the terrible feeling he had about his chances all this time. 

He felt like his Olympic dream was unraveling and it was almost enough to make him cry. He really, really wished Javier was there instead of out having breakfast with Mateo. Or better yet, he wished he could hold his son and remind himself that nothing could take the joy from his life as long as his baby was nearby. 

~

Javier got a call from Nao asking about Yuzuru’s supplements, and when she revealed he was being called in for secondary drug testing, Javier’s anxiety skyrocketed. He knew Yuzuru wasn’t doping, but the fact it came into question at all made Javier feel the way Yuzuru had acted for weeks now: like everything was falling apart and he had no way of stopping it. If Yuzuru was implicated in a doping scandal, not only would it ruin this competition, but even if it was disproven, it would call into question every accomplishment he had ever made. Javier knew Yuzuru would never be the same if his legacy was tarnished, and that scared the hell out of him. 

However, even after missing any practice at all, and almost missing warmup, Yuzuru seemed strangely calm as they walked out to the ice, and he had been very calm and in the zone as Brian and Tracy got him warmed up while they waited for his turn to take to the ice. Javier could barely breathe, he was so nervous and he wasn’t the one competing. Yuzuru was two points behind Deniss and half a point behind Shoma, three more competitors were within five points of Yuzuru, and Javier was so scared this dream would end in no medal for Yuzuru after all his hard work.

After Brian’s pep talk before Yuzuru got on the ice, Javi stepped up to stand at the boards as Yuzuru took the ice and turned back one last time. “You have this, Yuzuru. Don’t be nervous. You seem strangely calm so I guess you’re terrified, but don’t be.”

Yuzuru gave him a soft, loving smile and squeezed his hands. “I’m not nervous, because everything is wonderful.” That surprised Javier, but he decided to go with it. Whatever happened, he wanted that to stay in Yuzuru’s head. He could ask later what was up, but for now, he wanted Yuzuru to do well. 

Javi grinned. “So sure of yourself, huh?” he teased, keeping the mood light. Yuzuru giggled and said the very last thing Javier ever could have expected as he pushed away from the boards and skated backwards away from him.

“No, but I am pregnant.”

Javier couldn’t imagine what his face looked like as he stared in shock at his husband as he skated to center ice and took his position.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, this is the end! 
> 
> I won't promise there won't be more eventually, but I think this is the end!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for following along with this fic for so long <3

As Yuzuru took his starting pose at center ice, any fear he had felt before was erased and replaced by blissful happiness. He didn’t care how well he skated, because a dream he could have never even dreamed for had come true. He had no reason to be afraid of failure when there was no weight on his shoulders. He was too happy to feel any worry. He could skate good or skate bad and none of it really mattered, because his entire world had shifted on its axis and his life was brighter for it. 

As he started his program, he ran on muscle memory, thinking about today’s discovery that was brought on by a false positive for a steroid that had to be investigated thoroughly to determine that he really wasn’t using it. 

_”What is this stuff you say was in my urine sample?” Yuzuru asked, looking at the paper he and Brian had been given._

_The woman in charge of testing cleared her throat. “It’s a steroid. It’s used for dogs usually, but it’s on our banned substance list because athletes use it as a performance enhancer.”_

_Yuzuru scrunched his face. “I don’t have a dog, I have a cat. And even then, I’m not taking steroids!” he insisted. “I’ve never used performance enhancers in my entire life. I rarely take any medication for fear of exactly this. I don’t drink. I didn’t even take pain medication when I gave birth!”_

_The woman frowned suddenly, taking the paper back from him. She looked over at her colleague, and he seemed to know what she was thinking and raised an eyebrow. “You gave birth years ago, right?” he asked, and Yuzuru frowned, but nodded._

_“Yes, my son is three. What does this matter?”_

_“Because this steroid is known to have false-positive results in women who are pregnant or recently gave birth,” he explained. “I’ve never had a male-pregnancy, but I assume the same false-positive could happen if you had given birth recently.”_

_“Or if you were pregnant,” the woman added, and Brian went stiff at his side. “But, if you’ve had a baby before, that’s incredibly unlikely. Chances of you having another baby are astronomically small. There’s no-“_

_“No recorded case of it happening,” Yuzuru said, his throat tightening. “I know this. But if…” He trailed off, looking at Brian. “There’s no way.”_

_Brian raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t there? You just spent all morning puking.”_

_Yuzuru’s heart skipped a beat and he looked back to the woman. “Can your blood tests show pregnancy hormones?” he asked, and she nodded._

_“Yes, because we have to know if athletes are pregnant and taking prenatal medications. It would cause a false positive. Like this steroid,” she added awkwardly._

_Yuzuru took a deep, shaky breath. “Okay. Let’s find out.”_

Waiting for the blood test results gave Yuzuru time to look it up, and the more he read about how pregnant people usually got hit worse by the flu than non-pregnant people, and how it was common for pregnancy to ramp up anxiety levels, and how a carefully balanced diet and plenty of exercise but not too much increased fertility chances, it made more and more sense that he could be pregnant. 

When they confirmed the presence of pregnancy hormones in his blood test, Nao and Brian immediately took him to a nearby doctor, getting him a rush appointment with someone who spoke English and would agree to secrecy. The doctor was able to confirm the pregnancy and estimate the development to be at about eight or nine weeks, so it made sense he hadn’t noticed with all the stress he was under. He didn’t have the same pregnancy symptoms as he had the first time, but the doctor said every pregnancy was different, even in the same person. 

Leaving the doctor with the knowledge that he was _pregnant_ was like all the stress melted away and Yuzuru only felt joy. He had never imagined being pregnant again. Even though attitudes towards male pregnancy were changing in some places, there wasn’t enough embracement to make male-pregnancy-fertility-treatments a thing that existed. There was no demand for anything that Yuzuru could possibly do to make it possible to conceive again. Though surely nobody had kept much track of it, there were no public, widespread knowledge of a case of a man becoming pregnant twice in his lifetime. The odds of a male pregnancy occurring at all were on par with that of a naturally occurring female conception of quadruplets, so to have it happen twice was truly astronomical odds. 

And Yuzuru had beat those odds. 

He didn’t have time to talk to Javier before the skate, and he needed to stay focused during warm-ups so he couldn’t take time to have that conversation with him then. However, when the opportunity arose so perfectly just as he was taking the ice, Yuzuru said it just to see the look on Javier’s face. 

It had been more than worth it. 

~

Javier couldn’t take is eyes off of Yuzuru as he skated for longer than the moment after he skated away, when he turned to Brian with his shocked face and Brian just laughed and nodded, confirming that Yuzuru was telling the truth. 

He was skating better than he had all season. He was beautiful, and it was breathtakingly flawless. His entire performance exuded emotions, his body painted poetry on the ice, and he positively glowed. Javier couldn’t help but laugh a little helplessly at the realization that he was probably glowing for a reason. When Yuzuru hit his final pose, the cheers were a roar. Javier had never seen so many things being thrown onto the ice, and he had skated with Yuzuru ‘Master of Poohs’ Hanyu for years. 

It took a while for Yuzuru to finish his bows and skate to the edge, but when he got there, Javier was waiting before he even got off the ice. “Really, Yuzuru? What you said- before- the-“

“Yes,” Yuzuru said, a beautiful smile covering his face as he stepped off the ice and threw himself into Javier’s arms, laughing and hugging him close. “We’re having a baby,” he said, and Javier didn’t even care he was being forthright when Javier had tried to be more reserved, mindful of the cameras all around them. “I’m pregnant, Javi, I’m pregnant,” he laughed, giggling happily. 

Javier decided to just regret what was being likely broadcast on TV’s around the world as he grabbed Yuzuru around the waist and spun him around, laughing from joy. “A baby!” he cheered, and Yuzuru laughed excitedly, careful not to kick his feet up where his skates could hurt somebody. 

“A baby!” Yuzuru agreed, jumping up and down when Javier put him back on his feet. He only stopped when Brian grabbed his elbow and guided him over to the kiss and cry. He sat down between Brian and Javi, panting and laughing between pants, because he was so blissfully happy. He had felt so good skating that performance, he was _pregnant_ and Javier was happy about it, and he felt like nothing could make anything about that moment better.

Until his score came up a season’s best. 

The crowd went wild, and Brian actually leapt to his feet, hands in the air. Yuzuru watched the number 1 pop up beside his name and immediately his laughter became tears of joy. He turned to Javier, who was looking at him like he had hung the moon in the sky, and he wasted no time kissing him right there, not caring they were on TV’s around the world. Javier seems surprised, but kissed back, hands coming to Yuzuru’s elbow and waist as they kissed. When it broke, Yuzuru beamed at his husband and then stood up, waving to his fans and bowing to them all. He turned to where Tracy was waiting off to the side and he bowed fully to her, and then to Brian, showing them the respect they deserved for putting up with him for so long and believing in him. 

He searched the stands for his child, and when he saw him, he blew him kisses and waved to him, too. Mateo was cheering from where he sat on his mother’s hip, and Yuzuru couldn’t help but put a hand on his belly, already dreaming of the big brother Mateo was going to be. 

~

During the medal ceremony, Javier watched as Yuzuru further cemented their place in the ‘worst secret keepers and least subtle people ever’ award by constantly having his hand stray to his belly. “Well I sure hope there were no plans to keep it secret for a while,” Brian said beside him, and Javier chuckled.

“We kind of ruined that by jumping around shouting, ‘we’re having a baby!’ when he came off ice and there were about seven cameras in our faces,” he said, knowing he should feel more embarrassed than he did. But he didn’t. It was hard to feel embarrassed when he was so unendingly happy. 

A _baby_. 

The rarity of male pregnancy at all made Mateo a miracle, but to have a second was more than Javier could have ever dreamed of. Looking back at the past year, he could see where, if Yuzuru were a woman, they would definitely be pregnant again. But as a man, it was so close to impossible, and yet they had managed it. Yuzuru’s healthy diet, training but not training too much, and the way that Mateo getting older and Yuzuru and Javier having more time to make up for all the sex they didn’t have while Mateo was a baby, it all was the perfect recipe for good fertility and tons of opportunity. Javier chuckled, thinking about how when Yuzuru started getting back into shape and having more energy, he wanted Javier constantly, and how Javier had started getting in better shape himself just so he had the energy to keep up. Who would imagine that they would both be so fertile and have so much sex that Yuzuru would achieve the impossible once again. 

“It’s probably good I married a man,” Javier mused absently, and Brian raised an eyebrow. He smirked and winked. “If I had a wife, we would end up with so many children we couldn’t afford rent.”

“Oh, God,” Brian groaned. 

“Hey, I must be a very fertile man. It’s good I never had a condom break in the past-“

“You are such a dick” Brian said, laughing with a disgusted look on his face. 

“It’s like a man and woman having quadruplets _twice_ ,” Javier said, beaming. “God, a baby. I’m going to be Papa again,” he gushed, his joking side leaving him as the joy of such a miracle hit him once more. “I love him so much.”

Brian rolled his eyes but chuckled good-naturedly. “I would have never imagined when I brought that skinny seventeen-year-old to Canada that it would end up in the two of you having _two_ kids someday.”

Javier beamed. “I’m so glad it did.”

~

At the press conference, Yuzuru decided not to try and hide what he had already said in front of cameras all over the place when he came off the ice, so when he was asked, “What are your goals now?” he just smiled.

“I said earlier this week that I might go on for several seasons, but I think that is untrue. I am probably going to retire for good now.”

A reporter spoke up. “Is this related to the allegations that you were caught doping? There were rumors you were called in for secondary testing.”

Yuzuru blushed and giggled. “I was called back for secondary testing for a steroid that is present in urine samples of people who are pregnant or have just given birth.” He beamed. “I learned, through the ‘doping scandal’, that I’m expecting my second baby.” There were gasps and cameras going off all over the room.

“But- but you-“

“I had one already, I know!” he said excitedly, clapping some. “I am so lucky to be blessed with a miracle baby. I’m pregnant, not doping. And at my age, I highly doubt I can ever compete again after taking time off to have another baby.” He wiped at his eyes, which were misty just thinking about the tiny life inside of him. “My husband and I cannot be more thrilled than we are now that I’m expecting a baby and I just won my third Olympic Gold Medal.” He giggled ecstatically, still unable to process his joy. “I shouldn’t have told the world already, I’m still in the first trimester, but I told my husband right before the free skate and when I got off the ice, we danced around in front of the camera cheering about ‘another baby’, so we failed keeping it a secret,” he said with a small grin. 

The cameras went off with staccato clicks and the questions all came, but all Yuzuru could think about was the baby inside of him and his three-year-old baby waiting for him after all this was over. 

~

Javier agreed to not tell Yuzuru’s family until they were all able to get together, but the news Yuzuru Hanyu was pregnant made it to the internet and subsequently to their phones beforehand. When Javier got free of his duties and made it to where Yumi was waiting with Mateo, she was crying. “Is it true?” she asked, smiling through her tears. “Is Yuzuru really….”

He smiled as she trailed off, clearly too happy to finish, and he just nodded. “Yes. He told me right before the free,” he said, and she threw her arms up in a very un-Yumi-like cheer of joy. 

Mateo pouted. “What about Tousan?” he asked, and Javier beamed, picking his baby boy up, swinging him around. 

“Mateo, how do you feel about being a big brother?” he asked, and Mateo seemed confused.

“But I’m not a big brother.”

Javier beamed and kissed his curly little head. “You will be,” he said, bouncing him on his hip. “Tousan is going to have a baby. You’re going to be a big brother.”

Mateo pouted, clearly still confused. “How is Tousan having a baby?”

“Remember the scars on Tousan’s tummy?” he asked Mateo, and Mateo nodded in confusion. “Well, remember how he told you those scars are from when you were inside his tummy and made it get very, very big?” Mateo nodded. “Tousan has another baby in his tummy now!”

Mateo gasped. “But he’s so skinny! Where’s the baby at?” he asked, and Yumi and her husband burst into laughter and Javier grinned, hugging Mateo close. “Papa, Papa, a baby is too big to fit in Tousan’s tummy! It don’t have enough room!”

“It’s very, very tiny right now,” he reassured him. “Babies are like flowers, they start out as little tiny things that grow into big, beautiful babies.”

Mateo seemed to think very hard before he said. “So there’s a seed in Tousan’s tummy but for a baby, not a flower?”

Javier snickered. “Kind of,” he allowed. “In a few months, Tousan will have a big, round tummy because the baby is bigger. You were a big boy, so Tousan’s tummy was really, really big.”

Mateo still seemed very concerned. “Are you _sure_ the baby has enough room? Tousan is so small,” he said, and Javier hugged him close, kissing his hair. 

“Oh, Mateo, don’t worry. The baby has plenty of room. Next time I spot a pregnant person, I’ll point them out so you see what I mean,” he said, trying to think if Mateo had ever been around pregnant people. Nobody came to mind, so it was possible he just didn’t know how big a pregnant person got. “You’re already a caring big brother, look at you,” he cooed. “Already worried about your baby brother or sister.”

Mateo seemed confused. “It’s a baby, I don’t want a baby to get squished, even if it’s not my brother or sister!”

Javier would have doubled over laughing if he didn’t have a toddler in his arms at the time. 

~

When Yuzuru finally got to see his family, his mother instantly pulled him into a hug and put a hand on his belly, telling him he had missed the chance to surprise her. “I’m so happy,” she cried, hugging him close. “Oh, Yuzuru, you’re really pregnant?” she asked, and he nodded, beaming. 

“Yes! It’s such a shock but I’m so happy.”

“Me, too!” she gushed, wiping at her tears as she held a hand on his flat belly. “It isn’t possible, but it happened,” she whispered lovingly. “My baby is having another baby!”

Yuzuru beamed. “I’m eight or nine weeks, the doctor wasn’t sure. It makes so much sense, though. It’s why I had the flu worse than Javi and Mateo, because pregnant people have a tougher time with the flu, and I had just conceived, so my hormones were really out of balance.” He smiled over at Javi. “Papa didn’t know he was taking care of his baby when he was taking care of me while I was sick.”

Javier glowed with joy. He was so beautiful that Yuzuru wanted to marry him all over again at that moment. “How are you, Querido?” Javier asked, reaching out for his hand, tangling their fingers together. “You’ve had a big, shocking day, huh?”

Yuzuru giggled and squeezed his fingers. “I’m happy,” he said honestly. “A baby, Javi! A baby!” he said excitedly, tugging at Javier’s hand until it was pressed to his belly. He watched Javier’s eyes go impossibly soft and he felt an overwhelming amount of love for that man. Javier pulled him close, kissing his forehead as he spread his hand across Yuzuru’s lower belly. 

“This life you have given me is the best gift I could have ever received, Yuzuru,” he whispered, and Yuzuru only kept from crying because Mateo bounced over from where he’d arrived with Saya. 

“Tousan, Tousan, do you really have a baby in your tummy?” he asked, looking at Yuzuru’s middle critically. “You are too little, but Papa says the baby is a baby-seed, not a baby-flower yet.”

Yuzuru made a confused face. “What?” he asked, and Javier snorted.

“It’s a long story,” he said, so Yuzuru waved him off and held out his hands for Mateo, who crashed into his legs, hugging him at the thigh.

Yuzuru ruffled his hair. “There’s a tiny baby inside of Tousan’s tummy. It will grow to be a big baby and I’ll get very round because there’s a whole baby inside there.”

Mateo put a little hand on Yuzuru’s belly and giggled and Yuzuru was pretty sure he stopped breathing because he felt too much love and adoration for his body to take it. “Hi, little baby! I’m your big brother,” he said, beaming up at Yuzuru. “I love the baby already, Tousan!”

Yuzuru scooped him up, hugging him close, sniffling as he kissed his little curly head repeatedly. “I love you so much. I love the baby, too,” he said in a tight voice, laughing wetly as he looked at Javier over Mateo’s head. 

“Oooohh, cool!” Mateo found Yuzuru’s medal, which Yuzuru had nearly forgot was still around his neck, and was picking it up with his little hands. “It’s so big! Tousan is the best skater ever!”

Yuzuru giggled. “Maybe not ever, but I won today.” He bounced Mateo a little to get his attention. “Did you like my skating?”

“Uh-huh! You’re the best!” Mateo said excitedly. 

“Are you going to be sad when I don’t skate anymore?” Yuzuru asked with a little pout. “I can’t keep skating because I’ll have another baby to take care of.”

Mateo seemed sad. “But I like you skating, Tousan,” he said, and Yuzuru cooed.

“I know, Baby, but I won’t have time. I need to take care of your brother or sister the same way I took care of you,” he said with a sad little smile, though he didn’t particularly feel that sad about it. “I’ll still skate at the club for you and the new baby, I promise,” he said, and Mateo hummed.

“Weeeeelll,” he said, tilting his little head back and forth, showing that silliness Yuzuru loved so much. “Okay!” He giggled. “But only cause I love the new baby,” he announced, and Yuzuru beamed.

“You’re going to be the best big brother, Mateo Hanyu Fernandez.” He kissed his curls. “The best.”

 

~Epilogue~

“Emi, smile at Papa, Emi!” 

The camera turned to show Yuzuru giggling. “Hi, Javi’s followers. Mr. Fernandez is convinced his little girl can smile already. Let’s watch!” The camera turned and showed Javier sitting on the bed with a tiny baby lying between his outstretched legs, tiny feet kicking around. 

“Papa, she’s hungry, not happy!” Mateo said, his little curly head leaning over the baby. “Do you want your bottle, Emi?”

Yuzuru laughed behind the camera. “She just ate, she’s not hungry, Mateo.”

Javier cooed. “Smile for Papa, come on,” he said, picking up the little baby in a blue onesie, holding her up in front of him, one hand under her bottom and the other behind her shoulders and neck. “Papa wants another smile. I know you can do it, Emi.”

The baby squirmed around, whining some as her little hands waved. Yuzuru chuckled. “You’re going to make her mad if you keep that up, Papa.”

“Shhhh, my little girl knows how to smile, I just want it on camera,” Javier insisted.

The camera moved around behind Javier, looking over his shoulder at the wide-eyed baby with fuzzy black hair on top of her head. “Hello, Emi,” Yuzuru said, reaching around Javi with his free hand to catch her tiny hand in his fingers. “Hi. You see Tousan?”

Emi squealed, kicking her feet, and, to the obvious shock of Yuzuru behind the camera, she smiled. Javier laughed out loud. “See! I told you!” He tugged the baby to his chest, cuddling her close. “Awwww, mi princessa!” he cooed and Yuzuru turned the camera on his own face, beaming. 

“SHE SMILED!” Yuzuru squealed, reaching for her. “Gimme my baby!” he said, taking her and tossing the phone. The camera showed nothing but covers for a moment before it was picked up again, this time aimed at Yuzuru, who was beaming as he looked at his baby, laughing delightedly at her. “She’s so beautiful, Javi, look at her.” 

The camera shakily turned around and showed mostly up the nostrils of a little boy, who giggled. “My baby sister is so cuuuuute!” he said, pulling the camera back long enough to touch the screen. “Hey, how do you make it go on the internet! I want to make it so Sarah’s mommy can show her-“

The video ended abruptly, freezing on the smiling face of a proud big brother and ending with the happy chatter of loving parents adoring their new baby in the background. Just a typical day in the Hanyu-Fernandez household.


End file.
